2. St Yr Gl CICEOS IGU Chn th dn d, nd, r llnn t t. Aphrodite spoke and loosened from her bosom the embroidered girdle of many colors into which all her allurements were fashioned. In it was love and in it desire and in it blandishing persuasion which steals the mind even of the wise. —HOMER n 4, National Lampoon pblhd prd b vrn B f lt Republic. Srt tnd rnd tln phlph th f frnd. Eh t h pnt, nthr nd, "Y, Srt, vr ll pt." In th nxt fr n xplv "OW" nd th ppnnt fln thrh th r. Srt n b n t. h Lampoon's Republic h htrl vldt nnt Gr, l rnttv nrd thrht th , lvd t n thlv fhtr. t vn th n th rllf dffr •Mnn n btn fhtn nd rn. W hld, t. "bt" nd "bttl" W nd t dtnh rhtrl rnt fr th hr th tn pl blhftn, hdhd bbln tht d rt. f th pn s n. fn nflt td. In fht, h dptnt tr t n. In n rnt, th tr t win over n dn—hh n pr th nlr, tlvn vr, n ltrt, r h thr. h hptr ll hlp dtnh btn n rnt nd fht, nd t h ht nt t t t f n rnt. h dtntn n dtrn th rvvl f rr, th lbrtd rrh phl t hn Gttn prvd n th ht nd nnt. Wrn t f h "lv lb" t th Unvrt f Whntn, h nd h tnt vdtpd hndrd f rrd pl vr prd f nn r, prn vr vr tp nd ntrn vr prvd tn nd ll pnt nt dt b. h thd hr nd d nd nth f rnt, f pl 6 AK YOU O AGUIG SE YOU GOAS 17 lrn t h thr nd rvln brrn thn n frnt f th At th f t, n, Gr, b dvt f ht rhtr r. It l bd rlt h. n ll "rnt b th t" hn rd fld h, h d h ft. Whn Gttn nnnd h fndn n 4, thh, rhtrn Aftr vr fht I ld h: "d t th thr d t r th rnd th ntr trd nt t l , b th dt nfrd ?" r r h ndrd tht t b thrhl tpd tn, nd ht rhtr h ld fr vrl llnn. Gttn fnd tht b t . t vntll t d n t h: rnt b th t pl h td rrd vr th nn r rd bt h fhtn— n rnt. It nvr prd, t nl npr rvn r th h ndd p n dvr. vr, th fl pl nt bt rtrt. thr rnt n dffrnt , nd th dffrnt prp. htr In fht, n prn t t h rn n nthr. r n ld th ntntvl flld th b tnt f rnt. dnt Chn fhtn hn h rd U.S. ntr t h t Whn f th vdtp pprd n ntr tlvn, th t n trt t n th Snt flr. Chn d th pln vnt hd dddl nfrtbl nt, vn n th hpp n d h "fl bttr," bt t nt n rnt. (It would hv bn pl. On fll rrd hbnd dttd h pthlll n f Chn rll ntd h t d ht h td, Gd frbd. lz, nd h f hrfll rd. nthl, th pl h td On th thr hnd, hn Gr rn tr t ll rll, h rrd d t thr dpt t lv prbl nd r t dffr n rnt: prn tht tr t hn r d, r nd, n. h hd fth n th t. h dd pl, n th r r llnn t d thn. thr hnd, d thr n t tt h thr. Arnt prb r Spn ffr ltt rnt hn h dntrt l fr th, nt n t ltn. h hpp n rd. h n r ntlltl prrt t dlphn: "nt frt— nvntd hpp n fht. ptr, l rr, bnd tr, plndt hrp, th lr hl, and Mh f th t, I n tht th hpp n l seduced—they th pddn p." npltd n nthr. ht d thn. Whl r ltr tnd Mrh Cr pth n rnt hn h n, "W bln t t dr trht htr, th n h fll thr," t n d xbfrnd h tr t hn h nd (nd Y IS WI YOU CAEE thr t rrdl f ht nn thn, th jdn b ll th nn n th brnd, t tn. h rn prfn f "ldrhp brndn h" ppl rrl t thr n th nd. 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Undr r Y nt p vr, hv ndrd th nl f th ntrntnl frntr?" tn, thh, rnt n t rt dl f rnt. 8 AK YOU O AGUIG SE YOU GOAS 19 r. It n vn dtrn ntn ft. Annt rhtrn drdd n. Gd fr . Of r, th p nll t • Arnt l rpnd ndl, th rlt ll b fht, nd r E GOA: A r t th nd f vrnnt ld b d, prd dttr lf ht nt t h rhtrl ll fr vl. h lt ntr h h rht th n th ll lr. bt ttn h t plz th nd f n r fr bn rtnt btrd? Srr. Y hv t t nt. Chn r nt r. t th r fr th dr d f prn, th d, th dn nd? Gt thr d. Evn f th t rnt t hh—f th vldr rvl rlt l. l nd nl Wbtr t t d thn t r r rnztn n p—r rhtrl ll n bl bnd ld nt t th p t plz. Intd, r tp dn t? If t r, thn v n th tn. pp t r prnl l th vdn n th rnt, t rhtr ffr r lfh rn fr r f tt. , h r t d tht? rrdl f ht r ppnnt thn. Y IS I A n. rn t tl nd ll b th f t OIICA AGUME n dlbrtv rnt, dnt tr t tr r If tll t th, th rn tr. Yll ld th nd f n n t r nd n t r ll, nd n rp ld t ppnnt. r ntd t t r . th , tt hr tnt t r th dnn f r v. Evn r prtnt, pnt. A, ht ll t th t want t ld, t commit t r pln, It nll tht r ppnnt n n rhtr, hvr. prb d thn ll nd t ndr th rlt nn. Y ll bl thn tht th l pnt f n rnt t hlt r t f n brn p th ?" th dr ht dr—d th nt n t dt dft. h ntv dnn n b fl r ppnnt nl t. rvn ndrfl rnt tl. h nt t r pnt? t h r pnt. All nt • Mnn htr h t d n—t t r dn t pt r h r n fr t Sd Cp d ht nt t t d. pl ftn n rnt n dbtn tht t pnt, nl t l th bttl. Althh pll hd tht n pnt: A pl ptrl tp n th hh nd rll r nd dn. ppl thht hn Krr n th prdntl dbt rt. nt rdnt h, th prdnt pplrt tll YOU: Wht rn, Offr? prvd. h dn ld Krr l, bt th prfrrd h—nt CO: d n tht th pd lt hr fft? th rd bt th n. Krr n n pnt h n th ltn. YOU: ft I n? Evn f r rnt nld nl nd nthr prn, th CO: ftfv. n n l ln n, tll hv n dn: th thr prn. In tht , thr r t t t n tp: thr b nnn th h tpttn t rpl th npp nr fl. rnt—ttn r ppnnt t dt dft—r b "ln" t. t tr bth trt n r p.