Journey of Hope Workbook Week 1 1 2 Introduction The Journey of Hope Workbook was inspired by courageous, obedient, and faithful couples who rose above the devastating effects of becoming disconnected from each other’s hearts or disjointed due to: controlling, and abusive behaviors, infidelity, emotional affairs, or hidden debt in their marriages. These couples are now walking out restored and reconciled marriages. The workbook is written from the collective experiences and wisdom of marriage coaches and Marriage and Family Life staff members who regularly meet with couples and invite them into the healing power of the Holy Spirit. All disconnected or crisis couples need healing of their hearts as well as practical applications that foster restored trust and demonstrating trustworthiness in their relationships. The processes of reconciliation and restoration requires more than applying new communication and conflict resolution skills or behavioral changes in marriage relationships. Reconciliation and restoration require couples to embrace the following disciplines: 1) Obedience to the scriptures, 2) Faithfulness to their covenant vows, 3) Building community with other couples who have experienced marriage restoration and 4) Submission to each other. As you begin the process of restoration or reconciliation you will have many questions such as, “Can I ever learn to trust my spouse again? Is there any hope for our marriage? Will I ever be able to truly forgive?” You may feel that your entire life will need to be rebuilt. We encourage you to ask these questions and take them to the Lord frequently. Ultimately, your healing comes only from God. Fortunately, you are not alone. Many couples have walked out the pathway of healing and restoration before you. The one thing you can always count on is God’s faithfulness, and because He is faithful you can experience hope. Reconciliation is one of the divine attributes of God. As used in the Bible, reconciliation means to restore the relationships of friends who have become estranged. God has never deviated in his desire to bring each one of us into friendships with himself John 15:14, 15). Even when we were estranged from him, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Ultimately, God wants you and your spouse to experience friendship with him and with one another. And in the sacrifice of Christ, God has made provisions for both. The restoration of your marriage does not depend solely upon your resolve alone. Restoration happen as both spouses turn to Christ for healing, confession, forgiveness, repentance, and justice. God does not restore couples to what they had before the crisis. He creates something new through the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18). And as you submit to God, you will experience to power of confession, repentance, forgiveness, and extending justice to your spouse. Trust is something that is learned as couples seek God for healing and forgiveness. 3 Belief, Faith & Trust The Christian faith is based upon God’s love for humankind. The possibility of being loved by the creator of the universe and everything in it is an overwhelming thought. Not only are we loved, but we have been invited into a relationship with the creator who is also known as Heavenly Father. In order for humankind to have a relationship with a transcendent God, he sent his son, Christ Jesus, to the earth as a man who was given all authority in heaven and on earth. All relationships need a beginning. A relationship with God begins as he reveals to us Jesus as his son and our Messiah (Jn. 6:34-65, Rm. 8:28-30). People can study and learn about Jesus from a historical perspective, but miss the reality that He is God and the redeemer of all humankind. Once God reveals the truth about Jesus to someone, they either begin a journey of belief, faith and trust, or a path of disbelief. The words belief, faith and trust are closely connected with each other, yet they are distinct, and have different applications as Christians develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Each of these words begins a life-changing relationship with Jesus. We want you to know that your relationship with Jesus and your marriage will experience the blessings of God’s love and spiritual renewal as you begin the Journey of Hope. God chooses to redeem all of your experiences, good and bad, to form His character in you. Our prayer is that God becomes bigger to you than any trial, trauma or negative circumstance that you are presently experiencing. Belief Belief is the beginning of our relationship with God. The dictionary defines belief as “a feeling of being sure that someone or something exists, or that something is true” (Webster). Whoever receives the revelations of Christ Jesus and does not grow in this knowledge by reading the Scriptures, becoming a disciple and participating in a faith community may struggle to know how to apply this revelation to their lives. It is as if something is whispered into your heart that you did not have any knowledge of previously. Belief is knowledge; without knowledge we cannot form a belief in Christ Jesus or a Christian worldview that will influences our lives, attitudes, behaviors, relationships and careers. God reveals that Jesus is His son and our savior of the world (divine revelation). Belief starts with the knowledge of Jesus as our personal Savior and Lord. The context of belief in this teaching is Knowledge. Christians believe in Jesus. What do you know about Jesus? 4 What does He say? I am the way, truth & the life… no one comes to the father except through me (Jn. 14:6) (He is our Savior) I am the bread of life (Jn. 6:35) I am the life-giving water (Jn. 4:10, 13-14) I am God (Jn.14:7) I give peace to you (Jn. 14:27) I am the Good Shepherd (Jn. 10:11) What does He do? He forgives sin (Mt. 9:6) He performs miracles (Jn. 2:1-10) o Turned water to wine (Jn. 2:1-10) o Walked on water (Mt. 14:22-33) o Healed illness (Mt. 14:34-36) o Rose from the dead (Lk. 24:7) He opens our minds to the Scriptures (Lk. 24:25-27) He is kind to children (Mt 19:13-15) What does the Scripture reveal about Him? Riches (Mt. 6:33), Phil. 4:19) Hope (Rm. 5:1-4), (Col. 1:27) Joy (Jn.15:10-12) Reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18) Redeemer (Rm. 3:24), (Eph. 1:7) Patience (Gal. 5:22) Kindness (Gal. 5:22) Gentleness (Gal. 5:22) Goodness (Gal. 5:22) Faithfulness (Gal. 5:22) Restorer (Jn. 21:15-17 – restores Peter) Love (1 Jn. 3:16) Friend (Jn. 15: 14-15) Deliverer (Mt. 6:13) You do not need to know much about Jesus to receive Him as Lord and Savior, because He invites each of us to come as we are. According to Webster, an invitation is “a formal request to be present or participate”. Christianity is an invitation-only event, and people are often surprised by who shows up to an invitation-only event. 5 To believe is “to accept the truth of what is said by (someone)” (Webster). Jn. 14:1-3 - “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. Rom. 10:9 - if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Belief = Knowledge Faith Trust Riches (Mt. 6:33, Phil. 4:9) Hope (Rm. 5:13, Col. 1:27) Joy (Jn. 15:10- 12) Reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18) Redeemer (Rm. 3:24, Eph. 1:7) Patience (Gal. 5:22) Faith Faith is what follows belief. The dictionary defines faith as “something that is believed, especially with strong conviction” (Webster). However, if faith does not follow our belief (or, knowledge of Jesus), we become stagnant – we get stuck and cannot progress in our belief or faith. The context of faith in this teaching is Action. The Bible says that faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you don’t see (Heb. 11:2). Faith is acting on what you know about Jesus: what He said, what He did, and what Scripture reveals about Him. All of us have at one time been uninformed, underdeveloped or resistant to the truth, and were unable to act on what He said, did or what Scripture has revealed about Him. In many cases people are three point Jesus followers: o Jesus is my savior o Jesus is my friend o Jesus is my healer 6 But how will you act on the truths of Jesus if you do not know what He said, what He did and what Scripture reveals about Him? The Importance of the Body of Christ Life can become unmanageable and overwhelming for new or isolated Christians. The Scriptures reveal things about God that some of us cannot fully understand without personally having the experience or need. Being in community with other Christians helps us understand these qualities of God through others’ testimonies. I have listened to Christians who have lost everything: homes, retirements, cars, insurance.