omewhere along the way my parents became right again. About make Razorcake a nonprofit because I heard how much it meant to my a year ago, my parents packed up their house in Maine, let it out Mom to work in rural Georgian towns dealing with civil rights problems for less than my share of rent in my apartment, and moved onto in the ‘60s. I may have gotten the courage to be poor as hell, but happier S their sailboat. They aren’t rich; they made a goal and made sac- than ever, working on something that really means something to me by rifices to meet it. They didn’t take vacations. They didn’t buy each other learning how my dad uprooted and moved to Maine to start in a low posi- Christmas presents. Their TV is older than some of you. tion in a waste water treatment plant, a job he would work his way up to But money wasn’t the only obstacle in their way. Broken parts and bad superintendent by the end of his career. weather are standard fare in longer sailing trips. Their doubts weren’t Understanding where you come from—whether it’s parents, friends, a quite so standard. town or a subculture—can help you to be more sure in where you are and As a tightly knit family, we’d suffered a pretty severe blow when my what direction you head. I didn’t find punk arbitrarily twenty years ago. I twenty-four-year-old cousin was killed last March. My mom didn’t want didn’t jump into working at Razorcake without thinking it through. Being to leave her sister’s side, and, now recognizing her own children’s mor- aware of your choices, being active in the course of your life, is a huge tality, didn’t want to leave us. The fall approached, fears were not neces- part of what punk rock is to me. It’s Do It Yourself, and not Take It As It sarily put to rest but eased, and they started to prepare for their journey. Comes for a reason. If you want a better anything—life, scene, venue— But through their preparation to leave, I think we finally began to get active, actually do something about it. Sure, it’s not easy. Sure, people understand one another. As I realized how long it would be until I ever saw will think you’re stupid, crazy, or just plain wrong. them, and began to deal with the fact that there was a chance that I never I mean, how many people truly do what they want in their lives? How would see them again, we began to really talk. I wanted to hear all the sto- many people put off that one thing they want to do until their retirement, ries I’d heard hundreds of times before, but I also discovered stories and only to give up by the time they get there? I’m proud that people think my facets of their lives that I’d never known. As straight-laced as I thought parents are crazy, stupid, and foolish. They’re also happy. I get emails they were growing up, I now see how similar we really are. The fact that talking about pirates and my dad climbing palm trees for coconuts. So I choose to spend most of my life on something very few hold onto as whatever it is that you’re putting of, stop it. Make sacrifices, be scared, more than a passing fad is probably due to the fact that I have two parents take a chance, but be prepared. Make sure you’ve got a rudder before you who have never been afraid to sail uncharted seas. I may have worked to try sailing upstream. –Megan AD DEADLINES AD SIZES • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. ISSUE #34 • 1/2 pg: 7.5” wide, 5” tall. August 1st, 2006 • 1/4 pg:, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. ISSUE #35 • 1/6 page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. September 1st, 2006 • Please make all checks out to Razorcake. Email [email protected] • We only accept electronic ads. for rates and full details. • All ads are black and white. Our ad rates are super. • We don’t reserve ad space. Cover drawn by Art Fuentes Cover photo by Gorilla Angreb • Cover designed by Todd Taylor “Hint: When decoding politicians’ babble, to get to the real agenda, don’t read their lips, read their budgets.” –Greg Palast, Armed Madhouse This issue is dedicated to: The engagement of Jim Ruland and Nuvia Crisol Guerra, Designated Dale for graduating at the top of his class after being laid off of his job of sixteen years. Contact Razorcake via our fancy new website: www.razorcake.org Thank you list: “My hand hurts. Thanks.” thanks Valley Girl thanks to Mitch Clem for his illustration; to Art Fuentes, who, if you look closely, drew about ADMF thanks to Graham Russell for his interview a third of this issue; Scads of bands have asked and and pictures of Dan Sartain; Ex-table tennis pro you’re the first to actually do it thanks to Russ Van thanks to Alexander Krone and Terri Meuser for the Cleave for The Tim Version, Dukes of Hillsborough Gorilla Angreb photos; They’re, like, total tour diary; Greg Palast’s math’s fuckin’ tight thanks douchebags thanks to Jessica Miller and Jon San to Chris Pepus for the interview; O, boy, I really Agustin for the Bad Dudes photos; Tubin’ on a river, wish Arnold’s eye was bleeding and there was an watchin’ bands on a bridge thanks to Jack Barfield extension chord around his neck thanks to Keith and Matt Jasek for their Chaos In Tejas photos; Rosson for the illustrations, plus the Greg Palast Review long enough and someone’ll call you a and Chaos In Tejas layouts; Man, I hope Cujo’s brickbrain thanks to Stevo, Jessica T., Kurt Morris, going to be okay thanks to Julia Smut for the Dan Daryl, Keith Rosson, Joe Evans III, Buttertooth, Brian Sartain layout; Sanks and have a rice day! thanks to Mosher, Mike Frame, Ty Stranglehold, Mr. Z, Chris Amy Adoyzie for her Mormons layout and pictures Pepus, Norb, Jenny Moncayo, Donofthedead, Jimmy (Gus, too!); You got me. Those are AV jacks, not 1/4” Alvarado, and Jennifer Whiteford. One of the follow- cables thanks to Kat Jetson for her Bad Dudes ing people touched your last magazine because they Technology’s amazing. interview; Donuts filled with Molson thanks to Ben helped pack ‘em: Kiyoshi Nagazawa, Donofthedead, Snakepit for the Pink Razors interview and photos; Stacy Smilanick, Sara Isett, Ryan Leach, Mor They make sailor caps that small? “No, I’ll do it at home... so... I can get high,” thanks Fleisher, Chris Devlin; Like little elves in a digital to Fose for his Rhythm Chicken illustration; Is that a library, uploading reviews onto our website: Brandy Maya Rae Montana, small baby wrapped in a banana leaf? thanks to Vick, Stacy Smilanick, Mr. Z, Patricia, and daughter to Jessica Mills and Tico Longa. Nuvia Crisol Guerra for her picture in Jim’s column; Donofthedead. Megan Pants: “I fell.” thanks to Nardwuar has chest hair like Nicolas Cage in the ChiTels and MoMacs for a seat in the vans. Issue #33 August / September 2006 PO Box 42129 Los Angeles, CA 90042 www.razorcake.org WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 4 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 7 Art Fuentes Shizzville 8 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 32 36 10 Maddy Tight Pants Shiftless When Idle 12 Amy Adoyzie Monster of Fun 15 Ben Snakepit Snakepit 40 48 16 Nardwuar The Human Serviette Who Are You? 20 The Rhythm Chicken The Dinghole Reports 22 Designated Dale I’m Against It 25 Kiyoshi Nakazawa Won Ton Not Now 26 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn 29 Dan Monick’s Photo Page 30 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog INTERVIEWSANDFEATURES 32 Greg Palast by Chris Pepus 36 Rikkifest by Ben Snakepit 40 The Mormons by Amy Adoyzie and Gus Straub 56 64 44 Dan Sartain by Graham Russell 48 Pink Razors by Ben Snakepit 52 Bad Dudes by Kat Jetson 56 Gorilla Angreb by Todd Taylor 64 Tim Version and Dukes of Hillsborough Tour Diary by Russ Van Cleave FAVORITESANDREVIEWS 76 Top 5s "MySpace" shirts for sale at Hot Topic... 78 Record They take it a step further by unleashing their hatred on monetary systems (but you still gotta pay for the record)... 106 Zine It's Christians against My Little Pony (any and all unicorns are off limits, too)... 111 DVD I took a lot of LSD while I was in high school... Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky Press, Inc. Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.org were put together by: Todd Taylor, Megan Pants, Sean Carswell, Skinny Dan, Amy Adoyzie, Keith Rosson, Juila Smut, Jenny Moncayo, Daryl Gussin, Chris Devlin, Lord Kveldulfr, Joe Evans III, and Ryan Leach. Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the U.S. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the U.S. and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage).