The Reluctant Famulus 101 The Reluctant Famulus # 101 September/October 2014 Thomas D. Sadler, Editor/Publisher, etc. 305 Gill Branch Road, Owenton, KY 40359 Phone: 502-484-3766 E-mail: [email protected] Contents Introduction, Editor 1 Filloverse, Ray Nelson 6 Rat Stew, Gene Stewart 7 Mark Twain and Steampunk, John Purcell 10 Flat Earth, Eric Barraclough 15 The Berkeley Coven 18 Quantrill , Alfred Byrd 20 I Will Fear No Evil, Dr. Robin A. Bright 25 Suspension of Disbelief, Richard Lynch 30 Indiana-ania, Matt Howard 31 The Crotchety Critic, Michaele Jordan 34 How Many Adults, Sheryl Birkhead 36 LoCs 39 A Conclusion . ., Editor 57 Poetry Filloverse, Ray Nelson 6, 9, 14, 19, 24, 29 Artwork Steve Stiles Front cover A. B. Kynock Back cover, 41, 45, 49, 53 Sheryl Birkhead 14 Al Byrd 21, 22, 23, 24 Brad Foster 24, 35 Ray Nelson 5, 19, 29, 30, 57 Spore & Toetoe Hodges 39, 43, 47, 51 Michaele Jordan 34 Krista Detor online site 15, 16, 17 Internet 1, 2, 3, 2, 33 The Reluctant Famulus is a product of Strange Dwarf Publications. Many of the comments expressed herein are solely those of the Editor/Publisher and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of any sane, rational persons who know what they are doing and have carefully thought out beforehand what they wanted to say. Material not written or produced by the Editor/Publisher is printed by permission of the various writers and artists and is copyright by them and remains their sole property and reverts to them after publication. TRF maybe obtained for The Usual but especially in return for written material and artwork, postage costs, The Meaning of Life, and Editorial Whim. The Reluctant Famulus Introduction: Various and Sundry Matters As I (and John Purcell) have noted, Samuel ry music was played in the house in which he Clemens/Mark Twain had a lifelong fascination was living in New York. The music was relayed with science and technology, as his association by way of telephone wired from an invention with Nikola Tesla has shown. There are other called the Telharmonium. He thought it was a examples of that interest. Twain has claimed to marvelous invention and well worth the cost of be the first one to have bought and used a type- $5.00 per month. It was a somewhat sensational writer when they came out for sale to the public. invention at first but, inevitably, it was super- According to his recollections in the second vol- seded by more practical electronic instruments. ume of his mammoth autobiography, the first For those of you who may be wondering, time he saw a typewriter was in 1871 in a store what the hell is a Telharmonium, here’s a brief display window. He was accompanied by description.”[Tel`har`mo´ni`um] An instrument “Nasby” (Petroleum V. Nasby, aka David Ross for producing music (Tel*har“mo*ny), at a dis- Locke, a fellow humorist on the lecture circuit tant point or points by means of alternating cur- and a friend). They went into the store for a clos- rents of electricity controlled by an operator who er look. A short while later they left the store plays on a keyboard. The music is produced by a with Twain in possession of a type-machine, as receiving instrument similar or analogous to the he called it, for which he paid $125.00. He telephone, but not held to the ear. The pitch corre- played around with it for a while to get the hang sponds with frequency of alternation of current. of it but eventually had a typist operate the Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, machine for him. published 1913 by C. & G. Merriam Co. Again, according to his recollections, in 1873 the manuscript for The Adventures of Tom Sawyer were produced with a typewriter. He therefore also claims he was the first writer to apply the type-machine to a literary purpose. Eventually, he claims, he got tired of the “Boston machine” and convinced his friend and collaborator William Dean Howells to to take it as a gift. Three months later Howells gave it back to Twain. Then Twain gave the typewriter to his coachman Patrick McAleer who traded it for a side-saddle which was of more use to him. Then there was Twain’s claim to having been the first person (at least in that part of New Eng- land) to have the newly invented telephone installed in a private home, “for practical purpos- es”. A bit of clarification here: A while back I mentioned in an offhand way Twain’s having lis- Related to the preceding is the following tened to music through his telephone. The follow- item. After hearing the Telharmonium in his ing should make a bit more sense. home, Twain went to the studio from which the In Volume 2 of his autobiography, Twain instrument broadcast to listen to it again. At the states that on New Year’s eve in 1907, celebrato- time he was, apparently, interviewed by a news 1 man because an account of that visit appeared in The New York Times the day after his visit to see the Telharmonium in action.. Here follows a quo- tation from Twain taken from the news article. “The trouble about these beautiful, novel things is that they interfere so with one’s arrange- ments. Every time I see or hear a now wonder like this, I have to postpone my death right off. I couldn't possibly leave the world until I have heard this again and again.” Mark.Twain said this as he lounged on the keyboard dais in the telharmonium music room in upper Broadway, swinging his legs, yesterday afternoon. The instrument had Just played the “Lohengrin Wedding march “for him. If anyone wants to know more about the Tel- harmonium just Google (or Bing) Telharmonium for more than you probably want to know about the device. And that’s it for the—well, you know what. Then in 1873 Twain came up with his second And of course there was his financially disas- invention which apparently produced the largest trous love affair with the Paige Typesetting profit of the three. machine in which he invested and lost thousands Sam Clemens, in his persona of Mark Twain, of dollars and and put him seriously into debt. had a habit probably shared by many prominent Fortunately, by way of a lecture tour, he was or noteworthy people of going through newspa- able to pay off the debt dollar for dollar. pers and magazines, clipping and saving news But Twain’s embracing of science and tech- about himself and other items of interest. He pre- nology didn’t stop there. He wasn’t just a sup- served these clipping in an album by pasting porter of science and technology and a possessor them to the pages. After a while, however, he got of the latest gadgets but he was also an inventor. tired of having to go through the process of Mark Twain has the distinction of having been applying glue to hold everything in place. He granted three patents for his inventions. got to wondering if there might be a better way While living in Hartford, Connecticut., and soon hit upon an alternative. He took care of Twain, received his first patent for an adjustable the necessary documentation concerning his strap that could be used to tighten shirts at the invention and applied for a patent, which was waist. This strap attached to the back of a shirt granted. Clemens marketed it as ”Mark Twain's and fastened with buttons to keep it in place and Patent Scrapbook.“ Many people who purchased was easy to remove. Twain's invention was not a Mark Twain scrapbook used it to protect all only used for shirts, but for underpants and wom- sorts of things people found important or worth en's corsets as well. His purpose was to do away saving such a leaves, locks of hair, notes, pic- with suspenders, which he considered uncomfort- tures, and so on, the same sorts of things many able. Twain received patent #121,992 on people collect and save these days but with a dif- December 19, 1871 for an Improvement in ference. Gluing items into a scrapbook has been Adjustable and Detachable Straps for Garments replaced by archival-type acid-free sheet protec- ranted to him under his real name, Samuel L. tors. I suspect that in this computerized era some Clemens people keep “virtual scrapbooks” which take up Twain’s invention is still around but in a no real, physical space but can be viewed over somewhat different form he may or may not have and over anywhere and everywhere as long as also intended. Nowadays. His elastic garment there’s Internet access available strap is a part of brassieres. The leaves of book A are entirely covered on 2 one or both sides, with mucilage or other suitable adhesive substance, while the leaves of book B have the mucilage or adhesive substance applied only at intervals, as represented in Fig. The scrap- book is pretty much self-pasting, as it is neces- sary to moisten only as much of the leaf as will contain the piece to be pasted in, and place such piece thereon, where it will stick to the leaf. According to an 1885 St. Louis Post-Dis- patch article claimed that Twain's scrapbook made him $50,000 compared to $200,000 for all of his other books combined. How accurate that claim was is anybody’s guess.