PEOPLE ARE PERVERTS, thus there are potentially as many paraphilias as there are things in the universe. The word “paraphilia” is derived from the Greek para, meaning “beyond,” and phile, meaning “love.” A paraphilia, therefore, is a way-out kind M S of love. It is typically considered abnormal or socially deviant, and faggoty “mental-health experts” consider it an impediment to “emotionally EMETOPHILIA MACROPHILIA ... giants and/or oversized SALIROPHILIA ... ingesting someone else’s sweat meaningful” relationships. objects or spit F MAIEUSIOPHILIA ... pregnant women, SAPOPHILIA ... researching paraphilia According to David Rosenham and Martin Seligman, authors of Abnormal Psychology, paraphilias typically involve one of three categories: particularly those ready to drop SARCOPHILIA ... flesh FLATUPHILIA ... MAMMAGYMNOPHILIA ... tits 1) Objects not usually considered sexual; SARMASSOPHILIA ... kneading flesh the flatulence of MECHAPHILIA ... machines 2) Sadomasochistic scenarios revolving around humiliation; others SCATOPHILIA ... eating jizz that has been MELCRYPTOVESTIMENTAPHILIA ... black ejaculated into an ass 3) Sex acts forced upon the unwilling. FORMICO- PHILIA ... panties SIDERODROMOPHILIA ... trains What follows is a list of individual paraphilias, followed by a very brief description. The list employs shorthand to avoid redundancy. crawling things, MERINTHOPHILIA ... being bound SOMNOPHILIA ... having sex with a sleeping Each ellipsis ( ... ) can be replaced by the phrase “sexual arousal through an abnormal fixation on.” So when you see… especially when MICROPHILIA ... small things stranger they crawl over one’s genitals MIXOSCOPIC ZOOPHILIA ... watching animals SPECTROPHILIA ... ghosts or mirror images NECROPHILIA … the dead G fuck STATUOPHILIA ... statues of naked people and …you are to fill in the blanks inside your tiny pinhead and read it as: MORIAPHILIA ... telling dirty jokes nude mannequins “Necrophilia is sexual arousal through an abnormal fixation on GERONTOPHILIA ... geriatrics MYSOPHILIA ... filthy, soiled things STIGMATOPHILIA ... tattoos and scarification the dead.” Got it? Good! I love you! I fixate on your GLUTOPHILIA ... buttocks N SYMPHOROPHILIA ... watching a disaster that crusty toenails and masturbate to the thought GONYPHILIA ... female knees one has caused of them as you read this! GRAOPHILIA ... geriatric women NANOPHILIA ... short partners GYNEMIMETOPHILIA ... one’s male partner NARRATOPHILIA ... telling dirty stories T AUTOABASIOPHILIA ... fantasizing about being CATHETEROPHILIA ... catheters and impersonating a female NASOPHILIA ... touching a TAPHEPHILIA ... being buried alive A crippled catheterization GYNOTIKOLOBOMAS- partner’s nose TELEPHONE SCATOPHILIA ... OR ABASIOPHILIA ... crippled AUTOASSASSINATOPHILIA ... fantasizing CHOREOPHILIA ... dancing SOPHILIA ... a woman’s NECROPEDOPHILIA ... TELEPHONICOPHILIA ... making obscene phone earlobe HIRSUTOPHILIA or physically impaired about being murdered CHREMASTISTOPHILIA ... being robbed or forced young dead people calls to strangers persons AUTOGYNEPHILIA ... cross- to pay blackmail money NECROPHILIA ... the dead TELOPHILIA ... intercourse without foreplay dressing H ABLUTOPHILIA ... bathing CHRONOPHILIA ... age discrepancy between NEPIOPHILIA ... infant THANATOPHILIA ... death or otherwise washing AUTOMYSOPHILIA ... oneself and one’s partner AMAUROPHILIA HAPTEPHILIA ... being touched partner TIMOPHILIA ... gold, money, and power oneself fantasizing about making CHRYSOPHILIA ... gold oneself filthy HAMARTOPHILIA ... breaking laws or NEOPHILIA ... new things TRAUMAPHILIA OR TRAUMATOPHILIA ... ACOUSTICOPHILIA ... CLAUSTROPHILIA ... being confined or trapped in committing sins sounds AUTONECROPHILIA ... fantasizing about NORMOPHILIA ... acts wounds or traumas a tiny space HARPAXOPHILIA ... being robbed considered normal ACROPHILIA ... heights being a corpse TRICHOPHILIA ... hair COLPKINOPHILIA ... underdeveloped breasts HEMATOPHILIA ... blood NOSOPHILIA ... a partner’s AUTONEPIOPHILIA ... acting like an infant TAPHOPHILIA OR TAPHEPHILIA ... being buried ACROTOMETOPHILIA OR COPROLALIA ... ”dirty talk” terminal condition ACROTOMOPHILIA ... part- and/or being treated as one HEBEPHILIA ... teenagers alive COPROPHILIA ... touching, smelling, seeing, or NYCTOPHILIA ... darkness ners with amputated limbs AUTOSCOPHILIA ... observing one’s body, HIEROPHILIA ... sacred objects TRIPSOPHILIA ... being massaged eating poo-poo and nighttime ADELOPHILIA ... feigning especially the naughty bits HIRSUTOPHILIA ... armpit hair COULROPHILIA ... clowns disinterest in sex HODOPHILIA ... traveling O U ACUCULLOPHILIA ... circumcision B CRUROPHILIA ... legs HOMICIDOPHILIA ... fantasizing about a partner UROPHILIA ... all things piss-related AGALMATOPHILIA ... naked statues and BASCULOPHILIA ... being rocked and cradled as if CYPRINOPHILIA ... slutty women or a stranger being murdered OCHLOPHILIA ... being in a crowd mannequins one was an infant CYPRIPAREUNIAPHILIA ... hookers HOMILOPHILIA ... hearing or giving lectures OCULOPHILIA ... eyeballs V AGONOPHILIA ... partners who pretend they’re BELONEPHILIA ... pins, needles, and other sharp HOPLOPHILIA ... weapons OSPHRESIOPHILIA ... odors normally thought to being raped objects, especially being be unpleasant VACCINOPHILIA ... being D HYBRISTOPHILIA ... criminals, especially AGORAPHILIA ... the great outdoors, especially pricked by them vaccinated DACRYPHILIA ... a violent ones having sex in ’em BIASTOPHILIA ... surpris- P VELOPHILIA ... bicycles ing and sexually attacking partner’s tears and/or the HYGROPHILIA ... bodily fluids AGREXOPHILIA ... others’ knowledge of one’s DACRYPHILIA sight of a partner crying PARTHENOPHILIA ... taking someone’s virginity VICARPHILIA ... stories of sex life a stranger who resists other persons’ exciting lives DENDROPHILIA ... trees, I PEDIOPHILIA ... dolls ALBUTOPHILIA ... water VOMEROPHILIA ... puke C particularly as phallic symbols PEDOPHILIA ... children ALGOPHILIA ... pain J VORAREPHILIA ... DERMAPHILIA ... skin PHALLOPHILIA ... giant MAIEUSIOPHILIA CANIDAEPHILIA ... dogs cannibalizing someone or ALTOCALCIPHILIA ... high heels DIAPHANOPHILIA ... see-through cocks CARPOPHILIA ... the K being eaten by them AMAUROPHILIA ... a partner whose sight is garments PHOBOPHILIA ... fear impaired either by darkness or a blindfold feeding of fruits DISCINCTOPHILIA ... fucking while KAINOTOPHILIA ... change PHYGEPHILIA ... escaping or being a fugitive ANASTEEMAPHILIA ... a partner whose height is CATAGELOPHILIA ... partially clothed W being ridiculed KAKORRHAPHIPHILIA ... failure PICTOPHILIA ... sexual pictures or films significantly different than one’s own undressing DISHABILLOPHILIA ... KERAUNOPHILIA ... thunder and/or lightning ANDROMIMETOPHILIA ... a female partner for people PILIPHILIA ... hair X KINESOPHILIA ... exercise pretending to be a man accidents PLUSHOPHILIA ... stuffed toys DYSTYCHIPHILIA ... XENOPHILIA ... strangers being touched KLEPTOPHILIA ... stealing APHEPHILIA ... PODOPHILIA ... feet or aliens APOTEMNOPHILIA ... fantasizing KLISMAPHILIA ... enemas PSYCHROPHILIA ... being cold XYROPHILIA ... blades and about having a limb amputated E KNISSOPHILIA ... incense PUBEPHILIA ... pubic hair razors ARACHNEPHILIA ... spiders ECDYSIOPHILIA ... watching people KOPOPHILIA ... exhaustion PUPPETOPHILIA ... blow-up dolls strip ASPHYXIAPHILIA ... loss of oxygen KOROPHILIA ... young males PYGOPHILIA ... buttocks Y through being strangled by oneself or ELECTROPHILIA ... electricity one’s partner EMETOPHILIA ... puke L Q AUTAGONISTOPHILIA ... having others Z EPHEBOPHILIA ... teenagers LACTAPHILIA ... milk-producing breasts see one’s genitals incidentally or acci- R ZELOPHILIA ... jealousy dentally rather than intentionally EPROCTOPHILIA ... flatulence LAVACULTOPHILIA ... staring at a person in a ZOOPHILIA ... animals AUTASSASSINOPHILIA ... exposing EROTOPHONOPHILIA ... lust killing bathing suit RAPTOPHILIA ... fantasies of raping someone oneself to potentially fatal situations RHABDOPHILIA ... being beaten or whipped.