December 2017 ZERO FXS PLUS: Honda CRF250L Rally The 15th Dirtbag Challenge Something Special By Mr. Jensen News, Clues & Rumors Volume XXXIV, Issue 12 Publication Date: December 13, 2017 On The Cover: Fish gives us clear evidence that clean power is what the world needs now. That, and love, sweet love. Photo: Max Klein Contents: NCR............................ 3 Shop Rag ....................... 4 Pit Stops........................ 4 Uneasy Rider . 7 New Stuff ....................... 8 Events......................... 10 Photo: Max Klein CRFin’ Safari ................... 11 Oh, They Don’t Have A Soul ........ 14 Dirtbaggin’ . 16 Mr. Jensen Is An American certainly not just a marketing figure, that the Sport Glide is based on the new For FXS Sake ................... 19 Treasure heavily managed by electronics to be Softail platform, which means we can’t Maynard ....................... 21 actually rideable by mortals while still like it because the FXR / Dyna faithful Hertfelder...................... 22 After seeing Austin-based Reckless Kelly Doc Frazier..................... 23 qualifying as “class-leading.” will poke fun at us and make us feel bad, perform a fascinating interpretation of one because “Harley really got it wrong” and is Classifieds ..................... 24 What we’re most excited about is that the Locals Only..................... 25 of the best motorcycle songs of all time totally “fucking the Dyna faithful.” Tankslappe ..................... 26 in Oakland this fall, we asked our long- purveyors of “Italian beauty” and “soul” Last Page Photo ................. 27 suffering illustration wizard, Mr. Jensen, have finally deigned to call Whatever. Second Opinion ................... 29 to “do something” based on the tune. their motor a V. If any But… forward controls? of you have actually Find us online at: Come on, Mama As always, Mr. Jensen’s work is straight-up looked at a Ducati CityBike.com MoCo—you can’t use transcendental. We’re not worthy. Check it “L” twin… well, /CityBikeMag the word “sport” on out on pages 14 and 15. you know where /CityBikeMag a motorcycle with we’re going with To make it fun, for us at least, we’ll send a forward controls. this. /CityBikeMag CityBike t-shirt to the first person to send We can deal with an email to [email protected] with Contact CityBike: We’re pretty the haters—after PO Box 18738 the name of the song and the original stoked that the all, they’re gonna 24/7 Oakland CA 94619 artist. Ducatisti will hate—but forward HOTLINE Phone: 415.282.2790 Editorial: [email protected] But we must also warn you, we’ll send have one less controls on a 800.707.0707 Advertising / Business: [email protected] a dirty shop rag to anyone who cleverly thing to pomp and bike that is at least guesses “Born To Be Wild,” and we’ve preen about, and conceptually pretty CityBike Staff: hopefully they’ll be damn sensible is a no-go Editor in Chief & Jackass of All Trades: Surj Gish got lots of dirty shop rags. Like really disgusting, Superfund-level nastiness. able to come to terms with for us. Master of Puppets & Layout: Angelica Rubalcaba having a plain old V, although Back to Craigslist to shop for topcase- Senior Editor: Robert Stokstad I Like EICMA we can already hear some of the faithful equipped XR1200s we go! Chief of the World Adventure Affairs Desk: It’s that time of the year, when members cheerily chiming, “Ciao! Have you seen Dr. Gregory Frazier of “the industry” with international the new Panigale? That new rear-rotated Honda NC750X Staff Photographers: Robert Stokstad, L-Four is really dolce, huh?” Angelica Rubalcaba, Max Klein travel budgets get all front-row-at-a- No jokes or trash talk here. We’re genuinely excited about the updates to Artwork: Mr. Jensen Taylor-Swift-concert giddy at EICMA Harley-Davidson Sport Glide Honda’s unsung hero: 75cc bump in Operations: Gwynne Fitzsimmons (Esposizione Internazionale Ciclo Motociclo Like the suckers we are, we gasped, displacement, higher-RPM shift points Road Scholars: e Accessori for the people that complain we “FINALLY!” when we saw the press in the DCT, and more, coming to the US An DeYoung, Jeff Ebner, Fish, Max Klein don’t define these acronyms… happy?) release for the new Sport Glide, the way we next summer. Contributors: in Europe, while us stuck here in the do every now and then with press releases, Michele Appel, Dan Baizer, Craig Bessenger, J. declining US must be content with teaser before we read them and realize the bike Seriously, no jokes. We love the NC, even Brandon, Blaise Descollonges, Julian Farnam, images, moto-nip slip videos hinting at Alonzo Fumar, Will Guyan, Brian Halton, David isn’t quite what we’re hoping for. if Honda weirds us out with their “Sensual Hough, Maynard Hershon, Ed Hertfelder, Otto new motorcycles’ supposedly sexy shapes, Performance” terminology. Hofmann, John Joss, Bill Klein, David Lander, and obviously marketing-driven quotes Lucien Lewis, Larry Orlick, TJ Noto, Courtney about bikes that haven’t been ridden Everything Else Olive, Jason Potts, Bob Pushwa, Gary Rather, outside factory test facilities yet. Almost all the other announcements Charlie Rauseo, Curt Relick, Mike Solis, Ivan Thelin, James Thurber can be summed up like so: Ooh, color And of course, the across- LCD displays! We changed the name of Alumni (RIP): the-pond-ness of all the John D’India, Joe Glydon, Gary Jaehne, this thing! Neo-retro-classicism galore! Adam Wade EICMAdness and the Concept! obviously payola- For back issue and archive requests, email [email protected]. Back issues (if we have ‘em) are five bucks a pop. No, we will not mail you our last copy of an issue from the ‘80s for free, just because your buddy esque nature of the We’ll leave it at that until we get to ride was on the cover. We can find stories (maybe) and send you scanned images for $5, too, but please know what you’re looking for and the year “coverage” doesn’t some of these new machines, some of of publication… at least! If you say something like, “Well, it was about this cool bike I used to see at Alice’s and I think it was in 1988... or maybe prevent American which are still a year away. 1994, or maybe it was in Urban Moto” we will buy a cheap latex adult novelty and mail it to your grandkids. riders from engaging CityBike is published on or about the third Monday of each month. Editorial CityBike Code Of Conduct: deadline is the 1st of each month. Advertising information is available on in an epic online circle request. Unsolicited articles and photographs are always welcome. Please include a full name, address and phone number with all submissions. We jerk, posting their usual Mandatory Birds reserve the right to edit manuscripts or use them to wipe our large, fragrant bottoms. oh-so-thoughtful, well- You may have read of Juli Briskman, the ©2017, CityBike Magazine, Inc. Citybike Magazine is distributed at over In our minds, “Sport Glide” sounded like 200 places throughout California each month. Taking more than a few informed commentary. Virginia cyclist who was photographed copies at any one place without permission from CityBike Magazine, Inc, maybe the MoCo was gonna build a Big especially for purposes of recycling, is theft and will be prosecuted to the flipping a much-deserved bird at President full extent of civil and criminal law. Yeah! You can see why we skip this shit, right? Twin-based XR1200R-type thing with a CityBike magazine is owned by CityBike Magazine, Inc and has teams of Trump’s motorcade, who subsequently THE BMW R NINE T PURE. sleep-deprived, coke-addicted attorneys ready to defend it from frivolous But this year, for whatever reason, we feel topcase—like we said, “FINALLY!” lawsuits, so even if you see Fish doing one of his wheelies on the cover and lost her job because the company she Your life isn’t defined by the choices, opinions, or ideas of anyone but you. On the BMW Motorcycles of Walnut Creek BMW Motorcycles of San Francisco decide you want to do that too and then you hit a parked car and your bike compelled to weigh in on a few things. is wedged under a van and it catches fire and the Vallejo FD has to come BMW R nineT Pure, everything is about the essence of motorcycling and absolutely 1255 Parkside Dr 790 Bryant St @ 6th and extinguish the resulting blaze and four cars and your bike are melted No topcase, but the presence of hard worked for, Chickenshit Industries… Walnut Creek, CA 94596 San Francisco, CA 94107 into slag and you suffer permanent trauma including a twisted pinkie, your own. Customize it. Personalize it. Experience freedom that’s anything but ordinary. sleeplessness and night terrors, it’s not CityBike Magazine Inc.’s fault and Hail to the V: Ducati’s New V4 Panigale sidecases that look surprisingly almost- oops, it was Akima LLC, found her use of 925-938-8373 415-503-9954 we don’t have any assets so just suck on it. You know better. www.bmwmcwalnutcreek.com www.bmwmotorcycle.com Yeah, it’s red and classically Italian or BMW-esque (that’s a good thing!) the image on her Facebook and Twitter Copyright 2017 BMW Motorrad USA, a division of BMW of North America, LLC. The BMW name and logo are registered trademarks. whatever, and it’s got an admittedly enhanced our arousal, until we realized MAKE LIKE A RIDE. amazing 214 horsepower, which is December 2017 | 2 | CityBike.com December 2017 | 3 | CityBike.com pages in violation of its ban on “obscene somewhere else anyway.