V. tthe t9bi}$$ei} 10 MARCH, 2006 I VOL.LXXXVII N°41 Downs Pooh and Barnaby: hooking up since 1918 F.*w.~ ^£2^ta 2 CULTURE FRIDAY, 10 MARCH, 2006 THE UBYSSEY ! Sickly sweetness sure to please your average preteen AQUAMARINE FRIDAY, 10 MARCH, 2006 now playing VOL.LXXXVII N°41 by Jesse Ferreras EDITORIAL BOARD CULTUREWRITER COORDINATING EDITOR Jesse Marchand One would think that Splash and [email protected]. ca The Little Mermaid might have NEWS EDITORS Paul Evans <5d Eric Szeto beached the fish meets human [email protected] genre for good—apparently not The CULTURE EDITOR Simon Underwood mermaid film has flipped back onto [email protected]. ca the big screen in 2006 with SPORTS EDITOR Megan Smyth Aquamarine, a sweet, big-hearted [email protected] teen fantasy-comedy that, despite its FEATURES/NATIONAL EDITOR cringe-inducing corniness, is more Bryan Zandberg than likely to please its target mati­ [email protected]. ca nee audience at the cineplex. Claire and Hailey (Emma PHOTO EDITOR Yinan Max Wang [email protected] Roberts and Joanna "Jojo" Levesque) are spending a final PRODUCTION MANAGER Michelle Mayne summer together at Claire's grand­ [email protected] parents' beach resort in Bay COORDINATORS Bridge. Angst-ridden over the fact that Hailey will be joining her VOLUNTEERS Colleen Tang marine biologist mother in [email protected] Australia before school starts RESEARCH/LETTERS Claudia Li ("She's scientific...more like horrif­ [email protected] ic"), the girls make a last-ditch effort to stay together, praying dur­ girls have been fawning all sum­ my age, rerninding me that I had to high-pitched versions of Gollum— The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University flatter Aqua with compliments of British Columbia. It is published every Tuesday and Friday ing their last sleepover to the "god mer, in exchange for the granting seriously suspend my cynicism. by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, of hurricanes" for a miracle. of a wish. Their initial resistance That said, the reactions of everyone about her beauty. democratically run student organisation, and all students are Although the god's initial to help Aqua is made all the worse around throwing up big laughs at Likewise, it is nearly impossible encouraged to participate. f! response is to decimate the resort, by Cecilia (Arielle Kebbel), the pris­ each corny word of dialogue let me to take the hero-figure Raymond Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They their prayers bring them a miracle sy daughter of the local TV weath­ know that Aquamarine is more than seriously when he constantly are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the in the form a the luminous mer­ erman who strolls around Bay likely to win praises from the people emerges on screen in slow motion, University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in t maid named Aquamarine (Sara Bridge with a blonde-tourage con­ it was made for. The film is squeaky- his presence accompanied by the The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Paxton), who is informed via stantly in tow, likewise seeking the clean, with lead characters who put Bodyrockers' "I Like the Way You Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission seashell that in order to escape a heart of handsome Raymond. nary a foot on the wrong side of Move"—but the aural sentiment of The Ubyssey Publications Society. h loveless marriage under the sea, Claire and Hailey must make morality and radiate a sweet charm was clearly echoed by the young The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press 1 she must prove to her father that Raymond fall in love with Aqua throughout—particularly teen pop viewers sitting behind me. (CUP) and adheres to CUP's guiding principles. love truly exists. within five days, all the while hid­ star Jojo, who appears on her way to I'm anticipating at some point Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include Claire and Hailey rear the mer­ ing her nautical nature or else risk securing a respectable acting career that someone will read this review your phone number, student number and signature (not for maid in their home, hiding her in separating them forever. to accompany her musical talents. and tell me, "Chill out, it's just a publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the a water tower by night, and agree I knew from the moment I The film's sweetness, while consis­ movie." To you I will respond that editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification will be done $ to help her win the affections of walked into the theatre that I was tent, is sometimes cringe-worthy, I'm just a student critic, and that by phone. "Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300 words but Raymond (Jake McDorman), a way out of my league. Every seat particularly in a scene in which if you enjoy this kind of film you under 750 words and are run according to space. "Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be FT dreamy lifeguard over whom the was filled with viewers about half starfish-earrings—that sound like will not be disappointed. SI given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of si the writer has been verified. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. n oymen •iiiwiiitiiHiiiFniTmi l : It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising BUST LOOSE! HOLIDAYS. Campus ROOMMATES WANTED. Newly that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an I Sales Representatives. Wanna get Paid Renovated East Van Suite. Meat, internet, advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the t'i CLASSIFIEDS to Party? Join the fastest growing washer/dryer, NS/NP. Parks, skvirain, UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS entertainment company in the city. If you. bus (BCIT, SFU, UBC). Excellent quiet shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors have a ton of friends, a huge email list, neighbourhood. $275/room. Homestay that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad. nnouncemenis want to learn sales, and love to party! Call optional. Please call Peter: 778-882-3885 or Email: 604,682.6044 joincheparry@ EDITORIAL OFFICE "TWEENS SPORTS CAREER MANAGEMENT bustloose.com Room 24, Student Union Building CONFERENCE 2006. Follow Your 6138 Student Union Boulevard Picasso at the Lapin Agile Dream. Want to .meet leaders in the sports ervices Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z1 l! industry? Sports Career Management tel: 604-822-2301 Frederic Wood Theatre THE BIKE KITCHEN is your Conference 2006- a two-day conference on-campus, student-owned, non-profit fax: 604-822-9279 : I: Ongoing till March 18,7:30-9pm featuring the Presidents of die BC bike shop! New & used bikes, parts, web: www.ubyssey.bc.ca Students can get tickets for Lions, Vancouver Whirecaps, Vancouver storage accessories, bike repairs and bike e-mail: [email protected] Canadians and more! March 31st-April $10 otherwise it's $18 and for repair instruction, tool use, bike storage lsr @ UBC Robson Square. Visic www. and volunteer opportunities. On ihe BUSINESS OFFICE seniors $12 from the Box mjl.evencs.ca for more information. north side of the SUB. 604-827-7333. Room 23, Student Union Building Office at 604.822.2678. FREE PUBLIC FORUM on Women [email protected] advertising: 604-822-1654 business office: 604-822-6681 and Migration. Saturday March 11 @ PHOTO STUDIO RENTAL. $65.00 Engineering Open House VCC (250 W Pender st) 12:30-5pm, fax: 604-822-1658 per year (Sept through Sept). Fully- e-mail: [email protected] 2332 Main Mall Koom 420. Panel discussion and action equipped professional photo studio. All planning- free admission, everyone March 10, 10am, 4pm you need is your digital or film camera. welcome! info: www.amnesty.bc.ca Photosoc members also have access BUSINESS MANAGER Fernie Pereira March 11, 10am, 4pm to our state of the art, traditional wet FOR STUDENTS! PICKET ACTION Against the ADVERTISING SALES Bernadette Delaquis Come to this event tolearn Canadian Occupation of Afghanistan! lab (with free chemicals for processing about the exciting and diverse Canada Out of Afghanistan! All Troops and enlarging) as well as mat cutting AD DESIGN Shalene Takara facilities. Save hundreds of dollars, learn world of engineering or just to Out Now! 12:00 NOON, Monday- looking for a roommate? March 13. Canadian Forces Recruitment how to take professional quality portraits Once upon a time, there //as a little boy, Michael Kenacan, whose see what trouble you can Centre-1070 W. Georgia, for more info: and have full control over your prints. father, Andrew MacRae, decided to take him Buris-Korby-hunt- cause on their territory. 604-322-1764 [email protected] For only $65.00 per year you can gain ing. David Y;ien heartily aoreed to come along and join the party - www.mawovancouver.org the skills and learn the process of a but only if his granuddiigf ier and wife Carolynne %*•': A sr professional level photographer. Also, we Got sometliiligici sell? could piggyback on Alia Dharssi s shoulders for tne day. An;nr -u Global Citizenship ON THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY of Stutt drove the group up to Champagne Choqueris backyard are located in the basement of the SUB (which was rather vast and forested) and Amanda Truscott sold Seminar: David Suzuki the Invasion of Iraq: Global Weekend (between the food co-op and copyright) them all hunting-grade guns, except for Ania Mafi, who decided of Action Againsc War! March 18- War so drop by! Phone 604.822.4405, email Or just have an announcement that Jesse Ferreras (a late addition) would do better with a Kian The Chan Centre No More rally and march against the [email protected].