SEEKINGARRANGMENT.COM: A LOOK INTO SUGAR CULTURE __________________ A University Thesis Presented to the Faculty of California State University, East Bay _____________________ In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Master of Arts in Communications __________________ By Vanessa A. Rodriguez December 2, 2016 SEEKINGARRANGEMENT.COM: A LOOK INTO SUGAR CULTURE By Vanessa A. Rodriguez Abstract Sugar Culture has become increasingly popular among girls in recent years. The research analyzes Sugar Culture, and Feminist Theory, focusing on issues of agency and power. The website SeekingArrangement.com is a dating site for what is termed, “mutually beneficial relationships.” Arrangements typically include an older wealthy man and young college girl. In many instances, an arrangement of giving money for sex is made. This ethnographic research focuses on interactions in Sugar Culture to help analyze initial messages received by the Sugar Baby, and an analysis of the website. The gatekeeper is a girl who participated in this phenomenon frequently, who I shadowed on three initial dates. Though some elements may look like prostitution, certain other elements were not consistent with the main definition of prostitution. Initially, I found the Sugar Daddies were looking for companionship, to be a mentor, and to guide their Sugar Babies on a path of success. This changed toward the end of my research. This thesis explores and reflects upon my experiences observing and interacting with a Sugar Baby. I, through the writing of a theoretically informed autoethnography, reflect on the space inscribed between the outset of the research and the result (Laerd Statistics, 2003) and thus on a young girl’s experience in this culture through a constructed, narrative-in becoming space, and the relationship between the Sugar Baby’s narratives and her knowledge of this phenomenon. !1 Dedication I dedicate this master’s thesis first and foremost to my family, especially my parents, Oscar and Marla Rodriguez. Their loving support has been my guiding force throughout life and I will be thankful forever for the words of wisdom, patience, and incredible drive. This thesis is also dedicated to my best friends Haley and Mo, for pushing me to keep going even on my toughest days. Thank you to my professors in my undergraduate years for teaching me how to stay focused and interested in the phenomena’s happening in the world because they will forever teach me how to navigate through life, and use them as an example to make me be the best person and scholar I can be. Last but not least, I dedicate this to my brother Zachary. Even though he’s three years younger, his drive has taught me what I can do if I really put my mind to it. Thank you all, I couldn’t have done it without you. !2 Acknowledgements I wish to thank my committee members, all of whom have been incredibly generous with their time throughout this process. I’d like to give a special thanks to the Chair of the Graduate Committee, Dr. Grant Kien, for his patience and guidance, as well as consistent support and mentorship throughout this project. His excitement and willingness to provide feedback made this project enjoyable and an enlightening journey that I know I will never forget. I would also like to acknowledge and thank my school division for allowing me to conduct my research and providing me with invaluable assistance. Finally, I would like to thank Danuta Sawka for being the biggest help in making sure I have everything needed to graduate and putting me on the top of her long list of to-do’s when I needed immediate help. I definitely could not have done this without her. This journey has been a long, hard road, but with these people by my side, it made my experience a special one, one I will carry with me forever. !3 Table of Contents Abstract ................................................................................................................................1 Dedication ............................................................................................................................2 Acknowledgements .............................................................................................................3 Introduction ........................................................................................................................1 Methodology ......................................................................................................................12 Is it Prostitution? ............................................................................................................23 Literature Review ..............................................................................................................26 Background of Online Dating ........................................................................................26 Prostitution ....................................................................................................................31 Deception in Online Self-Identities ...............................................................................35 Marriage and Prostitution ..............................................................................................38 Online Personas and Offline Personas ...........................................................................42 Real Relationships on the Net, Does It Happen? ...........................................................50 Strategic Success and Self-Presentation Success ..........................................................54 Review of Seeking Arrangement Website and Messages ..................................................59 Messages, First Initial Dates, and Analysis .......................................................................63 First Initial Date .............................................................................................................69 Second Initial Date ........................................................................................................72 Third Initial Date ...........................................................................................................76 Conclusion .........................................................................................................................85 References .........................................................................................................................94 !4 Introduction SeekingArrangement.com, which was launched in 2006, has turned out to be a new phenomenon that has attracted older men and women as well as young men or women. Currently, the website has over 3.6 million users. It is a site that pairs Sugar Babies seeking financial support with Sugar Mommies or Daddies (older wealthy women or men) who are seeking companionship. Such a relationship is regarded to be mutually beneficial to both parties and is known as ‘Sugar Culture’ or ‘Sugar Dating‘(Press & Media, 2014). However, there lacks a general description for this type of relationship since critics such as Motz (2014) argue that sugar Culture is a euphemism used for prostitution. On the other hand, Motyl (2012) argue that such relationships involve both dating and prostitution. Cordero (2012) indicates that there are still questions relating to the nature of Sugar Dating, especially in relation to the feminist theory. Questions about process and motivation still remain unanswered such as; Why do men and women consider Sugar Dating? How is Sugar Dating characterized by men and women? How agency and power are practiced and exercised based on Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies’ experiences? The purpose of this study is to explore the Sugar Culture of SeekingArrangement.com from different aspects. We met at a party. She was holding a new Chanel purse. She was quite pretty, young, and well dressed. “When did you get that purse, it’s adorable! The young girl to her left gushed. “Oh, thanks! I just got it from my Sugardaddy. I met him on that !1 site I told you about, SeekingArrangement.com,” the pretty girl said matter-of-factly. Immediately my ears perked up. This was a story I had to hear. My main point of research in grad school is exactly this and I am not missing an opportunity. So, casually, I turned around and said, “Oh, I’ve heard of this site, please tell me more, I’m researching this website for my thesis and would love to hear and use your experience as a point of reference.” The girl’s eyes widened and a huge smile came across her face. “I’d love to help you! You can even shadow my first, initial dates, because I tend to rotate, don’t judge me,” she giggled. I laughed too, and said “well lucky you, I don’t judge!” We exchanged numbers and I was in business. Later that Week: We sat on the bed in our pajamas like two schoolgirls gossiping about boys. Except, we weren’t gossiping about boys. We were talking about men; older, rich men. I brushed a strand of hair out of my face, and looked at her with wide, interested eyes. The thought of never having to pay back my school loans beckoned me to understand this world she was living in. This world that, if you play your cards right, gives you wealth with only a few simple requirements. As she exposed all the secrets of her life as a Sugarbaby, I began to realize that everything I’ve been taught about morals, independence, and success, do not apply to this life she was living. I worked up the courage to ask her if she ever felt bad about herself after submerging herself in this alternate world; was there ever