Episode 07: OOPS! Part 2 By: Alex Brown and Rebecca Mahoney SCENE I. INT - WATCHTOWER 10 - THE GALLEY ETTA (strain/stress) Don’t do something you’ll regret. NORA I wouldn’t dream of it. ROGER GROANS. He’s been STABBED. OUCH. NORA (smiling) Killing your friend is just a normal Monday for me. Sorry, kiddo. ETTA He’s not my friend. He’s my supervisor . And ​ ​ ​ ​ don’t call me kiddo. NORA (laughing) I’ll call you anything I want. She WRENCHES THE KNIFE IN EVEN FURTHER. ROGER MAKES MORE DISTRESSED SOUNDS. ALARM There is unexpected blood on the floor. NORA (CONT’D) Now, you’re going to do as I say, or I’m slicing through every major artery in his--- ETTA (quickly) Okay, okay. What do I do? NORA The monster. Set it free. MORE PAIN. SORRY ROGER. NORA (CONT’D) You have thirty minutes. Otherwise, all of your friends die. SOME SORT OF ALARM SOUND OR SOMETHING. TIME TRAVEL ALARM There has been an unexpected spoiler for this episode. Please hold as we rewind. Rewind. (slowmo) REWIIIIIIIIIND. (normal speed) A few hours earlier. THEME PLAYS BACKWARD. SCENE II. INT - WATCHTOWER 10 - GALLEY ETTA is guarding PERCY. It’s going about as well as Waiting for Godot. PERCY You don’t have to be in the room to keep an eye on me. ETTA Remember that time you were supposed to keep an eye on my friends and you were totally successful? Oh, wait. No, I’m thinking about someone who could actually do their job. ​ ​ PERCY Such a sharp rebuke from someone who disdains her own responsibilities so much that she completely abandoned them. How’re those traffic reports going? Oh, wait. ETTA That’s completely different. PERCY Is it? I guess abandonment runs in the family. ETTA (you son of a---) If you’d rather not be chloroformed again, I’d ​ ​ suggest you shut the hell up. PERCY Defensive. Nice. ETTA Only when liars like you pretend to be my therapist. PERCY And I thought today’s session was going so well, too. ETTA Yeah well, appearances can be deceiving. PERCY (basically SCHADENFREUDE from Avenue Q is playing in his head now) Oh, I couldn’t have said it better myself! ETTA And why’s that? PERCY Well, contrary to popular belief, I’m actually ​ quite good at my job. I know where you mother is. ETTA What? PERCY And I also know that she isn’t coming to find ​ ​ you. She doesn’t want to. ​ ​ ETTA (she laughs. The sound is cold and bitter) Nice try, but you’re not going to get me to leave this room. PERCY Oh, I don’t want that. You’re good company. ETTA Uh huh. PERCY I’m just trying to tell you the truth. It’s often such an… unpleasant thing to hear. Wouldn’t you agree, Henrietta? ​ ​ ETTA Even if that was the truth--- PERCY It is. ETTA It’s not. She wouldn’t just leave me out here. ​ ​ PERCY But she did. Don’t you think it’s a little… odd that she hasn’t found you already? It’s been fifteen years, after all. Surely she had time to look for something that was so precious to ​ ​ her. ETTA All right, Freud. Thanks for the psychoanalysis. PERCY Search your feelings. You know it to be true. ETTA Again, I’d like to remind you that I’m not ​ leaving this room . So bring it on, Big Bad ​ Wolf. You won’t win. ​ ​ PERCY If you’re done, I’d like to continue. ETTA I should’ve used more chloroform. PERCY Perhaps we should switch subjects, hmm? I recognize that this might be a little… touchy. ​ ​ Let’s see, let’s see. What should we talk about? ETTA You. ​ PERCY Sorry? ETTA Let’s talk about you. And how my friends are looking for your friend right now. They’re ​ ​ going to find her. And when they do--- HE LAUGHS, CUTTING HER OFF. PERCY Are they going to kill her? Is that the empty ​ ​ threat you were about to make? Come now, you’re a better liar than that. ETTA What? PERCY None of your… work friends know about your ​ ​ role in the Transcontinental Hotel fiasco, do they? We tried to tell them when we ​ ​ re-transmitted your confession, but some people have terrible listening skills. ​ ​ ETTA (duuuuuuude wtf) My role? I wasn’t a part of that! I was knocked ​ out and dragged onto a boat while--- PERCY While everyone in that hotel disappeared! They were trying do good work ---to release a ​ ​ magnificent being back into the sea--- when they were taken. ETTA Uhhh yeah. Probably taken by a giant sea monster. In case you didn’t notice, we have those out here. There’s a reason we contain them. And why do you care, anyway? That happened fifteen years ago. PERCY You still don’t see it, do you? ETTA (flatly) Enlighten me. PERCY My colleagues were at the Transcontinental Hotel that night to serve a higher purpose. They were connected to something that was bigger than any one individual. ETTA (slowly, as if finding the missing pieces of a puzzle) Colleagues? All the rich people…? PERCY They weren’t all wealthy. But every rumor has a ring of truth to it. Some of the people who disappeared were part of our upper echelon. ETTA They sound like winners. PERCY They were. Until something went wrong. ETTA And that something was…? PERCY Well, we’d all like to know that. ​ ​ ETTA So… you think I do? And that’s why you’re here? PERCY (getting a little bored) Honestly, I don’t know why we’re here. I just ​ ​ know we’re supposed to bring you back with us. ETTA Your plan’s going really well so far. PERCY Oh, I wouldn’t count us out yet. Nora’s going to get me out of here soon enough. Pray that you’re not here when shows up. ETTA I’ve never been the praying sort. PERCY Well, perhaps you should start. You might not need it, but your friends certainly will. ETTA They can defend themselves. PERCY All of them? Even your harmless, rom com-loving ​ gardener? ETTA I--- PERCY (#winning) Or what about that fellow who keeps uploading your broadcasts? Do you think he’ll be fine? ​ ​ What was his name again? Fred? Yeah, something like that. He’s all alone, too. Poor little guy. ETTA What? PERCY Alone. On the bridge. He left a message for you. Said he wasn’t going to come back. Looks like someone else abandoned you. I’m sensing a ​ ​ trend. (#alltheevil) How lonely it must be, watching every day as everyone drifts away from you. ETTA Stop it. PERCY And with each person who leaves, you wonder what you did. What could be so wrong with you ​ ​ that you drive everyone away? Maybe it’s because--- ETTA SLAPS HIM. AN AWKWARD SILENCE SITS AROUND THEM AS A DIABOLICAL SMILE SETTLES ON PERCY’S FACE. ETTA (with the sudden realization that he’s won this round) Damnit. PERCY (he laughs) Ah, there you go. Looks like you’ve found your nerve, kiddo. ETTA Don’t call me that. She REACHES FOR THE WALKIE, TRYING TO PHONE A FRIEND. A BURST OF STATIC as the call drifts into the wind. ETTA Bertrand? Bertrand, can you hear me? Can we… swap responsibilities for a little while? It’s getting kind of stuffy in this room. STATIC. Hello? Anyone? PERCY (smug) It doesn’t look like anyone’s home. Pity, really. Maybe if you’d been nicer I could’ve helped you reach your friends. ETTA (the human equivalent of GTFO) I’ll never need your help. ​ ​ PERCY Are you sure? Let’s say, hypothetically, that Nora and I set up an alternate way to communicate with the outside world. And it’s in your broadcasting room. ETTA What? PERCY He TSKS. You didn’t even notice something was different? My my, seems like someone’s losing her touch. ​ ​ ETTA I--- PERCY We have people we report to, you know. We aren’t on our own. Having a higher purpose in life often leads to working with some talented minds. ETTA Yours excluded. PERCY Oh, we got the drop on you, didn’t we? And altered your external communications system without anyone noticing. We’re not alone. Our people can call in to this watchtower ​ whenever they want. (an irritated aside) And they do. ETTA You’re lying. PERCY Maybe. Maybe not. Why don’t you try calling your friends again? See if anyone’s listening. A BURST OF STATIC as she tries again. ETTA Kate? Roger? ...Bertrand? More STATIC as she doesn’t get a reply. TRANSITION TIIIIIIME. SCENE III. INT - WATCHTOWER 10 - SUBMARE 1 It's QUIET as we enter the Submares: we hear nothing at first but the sound of ECHO-Y FOOTSTEPS. They stop. There's a beat. And finally, KATE SIGHS. KATE Submare 1 is clear. ROGER'S SIGH is less relieved, more exasperated. ROGER She can't have gotten much further than here. ​ ​ Radio Bertie again. KATE Roger, unless you'd like to check under the couch cushions, she's not here. If Bertie finds anything, he'll call. And until then, radio silence was your idea, remember? ROGER Kate. KATE keeps going. But even though she’s joking, she clearly finds none of this funny. KATE As their supervisor, you set the tone. Oh, hey, did you know that when you’re searching for something, no matter how hard you think you’re looking, you’ll often disregard objects above your eye level? Maybe we should check the ceilings.