B”H The mitzvah of rejoicing with the couple extends throughout the week following the wedding. It is customary for the friends and relatives of the bride and groom to participate in festive meal for To our dear family and friends, six days after the wedding. These daily festivities follow the It is our honor to be able to share with you the great joy and example of Jacob and Leah’s wedding celebration, which lasted for holiness of one of the most significant days of our lives, our wed- one week. ding day. In a traditional Chassidic wedding, there are many beautiful SOURCES and meaningful customs that may be new and unfamiliar to you. Made in Heaven: A Jewish Wedding Guide, by Aryeh Kaplan. New This guide has been prepared for you in the hope that it will ena- York/Jerusalem, 1983. ble you to enjoy our wedding to the fullest, with deeper under- The Light Beyond, Adventures in Chassidic Thought, by Aryeh Kaplan. New standing and insight. York/Jerusalem, 1981. Toward a Meaningful Life, The Wisdom of the Rebbe, by Simon Jacobson. New According to tradition, the bride and groom have a height- York, 1995. For information call 800-3MEANING. ened ability to bless others because of their elevated spiritual status on their wedding day and during the first year of marriage. So, may we all be blessed with health, happiness and revealed good in all aspects of our lives. May Hashem bestow life’s greatest blessings Thank you for joining in our simcha. Upon you and your family Josh and Rochel Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov! 2 15 Breaking the Glass Although filled with a sense of joy throughout the wedding, we break a glass as a sign that even at this happy time, we remember the destruction of Jerusalem and its Holy Temple, which we still live without. In remembering this event, the couple A Guide to the Chassidic Wedding is connected to their past and reminded of their obligation to Judaism sees marriage as a Mitzvah, a Divine command, which “rebuild the temple” in their own lives by establishing their own is good by its very nature. Marriage is the paradigm for the human Jewish home. It is a central tenet in Judaism that the Holy condition in that only in concert with another fellow human Temple, destroyed by the Romans in the year 70 CE, will be being can we reach our fullest potential. The marriage union rebuilt at the final redemption through the Moshiach (the brings together two ‘half persons’ and makes them complete. Messiah). According to our mystical teachings, prior to the conception and birth of a child, the soul is one entity in the spiritual realms. When it descends to this world, it is split and invested into two Yichud- Privacy different bodies. Only at the time when one finds his or her Immediately after the ceremony, the bride and groom are led “destined one” (bashert), does the soul fuse together its original amid singing and dancing to a private room to spend their first ‘parts’ and become one entity again. moments of married life alone together. This symbolizes their new Complete wholeness, however, is achieved only when the intimate relationship. The bride and groom, who have been married couple unites with G-d. When the couple’s relationship is fasting all day, also break their fast together while the wedding purified and raised up on a spiritual plane, G-d’s presence is able to guests begin the festive meal. dwell within them. This brings sanctity into their relationship. Rejoicing: The Wedding Feast A Brief History of Chabad Chasidus When the bride and groom enter the reception hall, all of the Our wedding will be embellished with the customs of the guests rise to greet them and begin the celebration. Following Chabad Chassidic movement. Chassidism arose in Eastern Europe traditional Jewish law, men and women dance in separate circles. during the middle decades of the eighteenth century. Founded by This also serves to highlight the sanctity and uniqueness of the Israel Baal Shem Tov, its teachings were drawn from the earlier private relationship between husband and wife. Considered a Kabalistic (mystical) works. commandment for the guests at a wedding to “rejoice the bride Chassidic philosophy enabled the integration of mysticism and groom,” many guests perform tricks and skits. The celebratory into the daily life of its followers. While Kabbalah attempted to meal is known as Seudas Mitzvah, a meal in fulfillment of a bring man to G-d, Chassidism strove to bring G-d to man. commandment. After the meal, Birkas Hamazon (Grace After “Kabbalah raised the initiate to the upper worlds, offering a Meals) is recited and the Sheva Brochos are repeated (both over a glimpse of the holy domain, along with it’s angels, emanations, cup of wine). 14 3 vessels, and luminations. Chassidism, on the other hand, did just the opposite. It brought the heavenly domain down to man, ∫«„«·ŸÎœÏ ‡À¯À∆· Ï›∆ÎÉŒ÷ ÌÀÏ«ÚÀ‰ ŸÍŒÏŒÓ »ÈÕ‰¿¤‡ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À∆˙Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· showing him the type of life and dedication that it predicated” (The Light Beyond, Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan). ∫ÌÀ„À‡À‰ ¯Õˆ«È ÌÀÏ«ÚÀ‰ ŸÍŒÏŒÓ »ÈÕ‰¿¤‡ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À∆˙Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· The Baal Shem Tov had one student, Rabbi Dov Ber of Mezritch, Known as the Maggid (preacher). One of his greatest ≠˙Œ‡ ¯ÃˆÀÈ ¯Œ÷⁄‡ ÌÀÏ«ÚÀ‰ ŸÍŒÏŒÓ ÂÈÕ‰¿¤‡ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À∆˙Ç disciples was Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, whose followers, the ŸÍ»¯À∆· Chabad Chassidism, became known as Lubavitchers, named after «Ï ÔÈœ˜Ÿ˙œ‰ŸÂ Æ«˙ÈœŸ·Ã∆˙ ˙»ÓŸ∆„ ̌όˆŸ∆· «ÓŸÏÈŸ∆· ÌÀ„À‡À‰ the town that served as their communal base in Belo Russia. Chabad is an acronym for the Hebrew words Chochmah ∫ÌÀ„À‡À‰ ¯Õˆ«È ÀÈŸÈ ‰˙À∆ Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· Æ„ÃÚ ÈÕ„⁄Ú ÔÃÈŸœ∆· »∆Œ∆ÓœÓ (wisdom), Binah (understanding), and Da’as (knowledge). Its name reflects the central theme of the movement – that intellect ∆‰ÀΫ˙ŸÏ À‰ÈŒÀ∆· ı»∆·œ˜Ÿ∆· ‰À¯À˜⁄ÚÀ‰ ÏÕ‚À˙ŸÂ ◊Èœ◊À∆˙ ◊«◊ should govern over emotions in one’s approach to life. ∫À‰ÈŒÀ·Ÿ∆· Ô«∆Èœˆ ÃÁÕ∆ÓÃ◊ŸÓ ÀÈŸÈ ‰˙À∆ Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· ƉÀÁŸÓœ◊Ÿ∆· For seven successive generations, leadership was transmitted through lineage. The movement shifted it’s center during world war when the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe came with his students to ÔŒ„ÕÚ ÔŸ∆· ÀÍŸ¯ÈœˆŸÈ ÀÍ⁄ÁÕ∆ÓÃ◊Ÿ∆Î ÆÌÈœ·»‰⁄‡À‰ ÌÈœÚÕ¯ ÁÃ∆ÓÃ◊˙Ÿ∆ ÁÓÃ∆Ã◊ the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. His successor was Rabbi ∫‰À∆ÏÃΟ ÔÀ˙ÀÁ ÃÁÕ∆ÓÃ◊ŸÓ ÀÈŸÈ ‰˙À∆ Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· ÆÌŒ„Œ∆˜œÓ Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the seventh of the dynesty and fondly known as “the Rebbe”. The Rebbe lead the group from a small following to a worldwide movement by opening schools, Ô«◊À◊ ‡À¯À∆· ¯Œ÷⁄‡ ÌÀÏ«ÚÀ‰ ŸÍŒÏŒÓ »ÈÕ‰¿¤‡ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À∆˙Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· synagogues, and Chabad houses in cities throughout each of the ƉÀŸ„ŒÁŸÂ ‰ÀˆÈœ∆„ ‰À∆ œ¯ ‰ÀÏÈœ∆‚ ƉÀ∆ÏÃΟ ÔÀ˙ÀÁ ‰ÀÁŸÓœ◊ŸÂ six continents. ÈÕ¯ÀÚŸ∆· ÚÃÓÀ∆÷œÈ »ÈÕ‰¿¤‡ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À¯Õ‰ŸÓ Æ˙»ÚÕ¯ŸÂ Ì«ÏÀ÷ ƉÀÂ⁄ÁÇŸÂ ‰À·⁄‰Ã‡ Before the Wedding ÔÀ˙ÀÁ Ï«˜ ƉÀÁŸÓœ◊ Ï«˜ŸÂ Ô«◊À◊ Ï«˜ ÆÌœÈÀÏÀ÷»¯ŸÈ ˙«ˆ‹ÁŸ·» ‰À„»‰ŸÈ The marriage of a Jewish man and woman is seen to be the ‰˙Õ∆ Ÿ÷œ∆ÓœÓ ÌÈœ¯ÀÚŸ» ÆÌÀ˙À∆Ù‹ÁÕÓ ÌÈœÀ˙⁄Á ˙«Ï⁄‰ŸˆœÓ Ï«˜ ƉÀ∆ÏÃ∆Î Ï«˜ŸÂ beginning of a completely new life for both the bride and groom. ∫‰À∆ÏÃ∆ÎÉ ÌœÚ ÔÀ˙ÀÁ ÃÁÕ∆ÓÃ◊ŸÓ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À∆˙Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· ∫ÌÀ˙ÀÈœ∆‚Ÿ Despite the tumult of preparations the weeks before, the couple prepares to lay the spiritual foundation of their new life together. ∫ÒÂΉ ÏÚ Í¯·Ó The week before the wedding the bride and groom customarily ∫ÔŒÙÀ∆‚É Èœ¯Ÿ∆Ù ‡Õ¯«∆· ÆÌÀÏ«ÚÀ‰ ŸÍŒÏŒÓ ÂÈÕ‰¿¤‡ ÀÈŸÈ ‰À∆˙Ç ŸÍ»¯À∆· do not see each other. On the Shabbos of that week, the groom is called to the Torah (ufruf), to impress upon him his duty to look ƉÏΉ Ô˙Á‰ ÔÈ˙¢ to it as his guide in married life. The congregation showers him with nuts and sweets symbolic of their wishes for a fruitful and 4 13 sweet marriage blessed with many children. On the same Shabbos, MARRIAGE CEREMONY BLESSINGS the bride’s friends and family join her for a Chassidic gathering where they celebrate through learning and singing. ŸÍ»¯À∆· Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has created all things for His glory. The Wedding Day ŸÍ»¯À∆· Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Creator Our sages teach us that each marriage ceremony is a of man. reenactment of the marriage between G-d and the Jewish people, ŸÍ»¯À∆· Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who which took place at Mount Sinai. The bond between a husband created man in His image, in the image [of His] likeness [He and his wife is like the cosmic bond, which exists between Jews fashioned] his form, and prepared for him from his own self an and G-d. Just as the Jews fasted before receiving the Torah on everlasting edifice. Blessed are You Lord, Creator of man. Mount Sinai, the bride and the groom fast on the day of their wedding. In general, the wedding day is like a personal Yom Kippur ◊«◊ May the barren one [Jerusalem] rejoice and be happy at the for the bride and the groom.