THE BLUE AND WHITE Vol. X No. IV March 2004 Columbia University in the City of New York PERSONAL ADS by The Blue and White Staff CIUDADANO PERDIDO PARIS REVIEW by Hector Chavez by Allen O’Rourke CONTENTS Columns 99 Introduction 101 Campus Characters 105 Book Review 106 Measure for Measure 109 Blue J 112 Curio Columbiana 115 Told Between Puffs 116 Digitalia 118 Booze Humanities 119 Lecture Notes 122 Culinary Humanities 123 Campus Gossip Features 100 Resolution 10.4 103 Casa Totalitariana 104 Un Ciudadano Perdido 108 Incommunicado Communicated 110 Paris Review 116 Model UNcovered 120 Personal Ads Cover by Cara Rachele Typographical Note The text of The Blue and White is set in Bodoni Old Face, which was revived by Günter Gerhard Lange based on original designs by Giambattista Bodoni of Parma (active 1765–1813). The display faces are Weiss and Cantoria. 98 The Blue and White March 2004 99 THE BLUE AND WHITE Vol. X FAMAM EXTENDIMUS FACTIS No. IV ur esteemed President Bollinger Editor-in-Chief has been country-hopping CRAIG B. HOLLANDER, C’04 recently. And while he was off Publisher surveying sites in Ghana for ISAAC V. KOHN, C’04 Biosphere iii and withdraw- ing Columbia’s wwii- era deposits from Managing Editors Switzerland, the closest we got to going AINSLEY C. ROSS, B’04 abroad was the Hungarian Pastry shop. But CALEB K. VOGNSEN, C’04 rest assured that this foreign-themed B&W Editors will relieve your craving for the world beyond MICHAEL S. PAULSON, C’04 (Literary) Manhattan Isle. CARA P. RACHELE, C’05 (Graphics) First, check out Avi Zenilman and his gang DANIEL R. PALUCH, C’05 (Webmaster) of international-relations nerds as they torture ZACHARY H. BENDINER, C’06 impressionable youths in “Model UNcovered.” MAX H. DiLALLO, C’06 Then, in “Incommunicado Communicated,” Zachary Bendiner and Paul Mazzilli have a Contributors frank discussion with the editors of sipa’s ANNA K. E. BULBROOK, C’04 (intentionally) funny publication. Speaking ERICA S. DeBRUIN, C’04 of frank, Allen O’Rourke shares undiluted TELIS G. DEMOS, C’04 thoughts on French life in “Paris Review” – THOMAS E. GORMAN, C’04 not to be confused with Telis Demos’ book ALLEN T. O’ROURKE, C’04 review on the collected works of the Paris I. DAVEY VOLNER, C’04 Review’s George Plimpton. And who could MATTHEW P. HARRISON, C’05 forget those Italians? In “Wheeler-Dealer,” SCOTT HARTMAN, C’05 Pontius Palate reveals some holes in Italian MICHELLE LEGRO, B’05 cheese security, and in “Casa Totalitariana” MICHAEL Z. MALLOW, C’05 CHASE M. BEHRINGER, C’06 the B&W exposes some skeletons in the clos- HECTOR R. CHAVEZ, E’06 ets of the Casa Italiana. There’s also some AJAY G. KURIAN, C’06 material for the xenophiliacs amongst you: PAUL C. MAZZILLI, C’06 read Hector Chavez’s article, “Un Ciudadano MICAH SPRINGUT, C’06 Perdido,” and about our campus character, ELIZABETH FERGUSON, C’07 Sylvia Banderas. And, instead of mailing away NICHOLAS B. B. FRISCH, C’07 for your bride, why not save the postage and DANIEL WANG, C’07 peruse the B&W personal ads? AVI Z. ZENILMAN, C’07 In this issue, our beloved Chief also con- fronts what was, for him, a previously foreign concept – relinquishing power. As King Lear lamented, “it is our fast intent to shake all cares and business from our age, conferring them on younger strengths, while we unbur- dened crawl toward [graduation].” Craig is, The B&W invites contributions of original work indeed, handing over the Bodoni Old Face from the Columbia community and typeset to his successor, Cara Rachele, C’05. welcomes letters from readers. Articles represent the opinions of their authors. She, in turn, has appointed Hector Chavez, E’06, to Publisher. A girl and an engineer e-mail: [email protected] running the B&W ? And you thought we were website: http://www.theblueandwhite.org/ oblivious to affirmative action! 98 The Blue and White March 2004 99 Resolution 10.4 (2004) Committee: Executive Board of The Blue and White Topic Area: The Peaceful Transfer of Power Taking into account that Mr. Hollander is well past his editorial prime; has lost his passion for gossip and libel; despondently refers to freshmen writers as “digitalia-wells”; and can no longer satisfy the female staff members “man-wise”, Recalling that Mr. Hollander recently requested an audience with B&W staff members Michael Mallow, Daniel von Paluch, and Cara Rachele so that he might choose a worthy successor, ask- ing, “Which of you shall we say doth love me most?”, Replying, Mr. Mallow: “I think my love for you is like a run-on sentence which is a cramming together of so many parts like hotdogs or postmodernism but put it all together, the result is still less than what is required because a run-on sentence is not a complete sentence and hot dogs are not nourishing and postmodernism gets you sex, money, and respect but not security and all of this that I have crammed on the bad side of one period is still somehow less than what is deserved.”, Exclaiming next , Herr Paluch: “Ich liebe dich weil du wie ein Erdmännchen aussiehst.”, And drawling, Miss Rachele: “Honey, I’ll give you a liter of mash whiskey and a refreshing mint julep for the position.”, Proclaiming triumphantly that Cara P. Rachele, a heretofore unimportant student of architec- ture, will assume the awesome powers of the B&W Editor-in-Chieftainship!, 1. Notes with relief that the Hollander Terror is over. According to “Declaration of the Rights of Paul Mazzilli,” editors can no longer guillotine, rewrite, and publish submissions without the author’s consent; 2. Reaffirms Miss Rachele’s pledge not to purge the B&W of Hollander loyalists, as they are merely a crew of harmless drunks; 3. Calls for Publisher Chavez to purchase a nearby pasture, perhaps in New Jersey, so that Mr. Hollander may be put out to stud. Any attempt to send him to a glue factory will be met with stiff resistance; 4. Strongly urges Miss Rachele to take a vow of celibacy, as there is no longer any need for her to whore herself up the editorial ladder; 5. Requests that Miss Rachele and her newly-appointed cohort of gentile editors refrain from referring to her usurpation of power from the Semitic overlords Craig Hollander, Isaac Kohn, Caleb Vognsen, Ainsley Ross, and Michael Paulson as the Coup de Jew ; 6. Decides to remain seized of the matter. Cara Rachele Craig Hollander Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief 2004 – 2005 2003 – 2004 100 The Blue and White March 2004 101 Campus Characters ou might not know the following figures – but you should. In Campus Characters, The Blue and YWhite introduces you to a handful of Columbians who are up to interesting and extraordinary things, and whose stories beg to be shared. If you’d like to suggest a Campus Character, send us an e-mail at: [email protected]. Sylvia Banderas grants living and working in America. Her Certain people have life stories that can Kluge grant funded a documentary video of make them seem more like an allegory than an Mexican immigrants who lost their jobs when individual person. But, in spite of the “Horatio the Twin Towers fell, but who don’t qualify for Alger thing,” as she calls it, Sylvia Banderas, relief because they have no official identity. C’04, defies any type you may know. If you have the pleasure of meeting Sylvia, Sylvia was born in Guadalajara, Jalisco, just you’ll see that there’s nothing accidental about north of Mexico City. When she was 9, she her success. She’s got enough elbow grease to moved to East Los Angeles with her mother. power a jet engine. Her daily planner is inked Her friends in LA were diverse, but mostly from cover to cover, stuffed with charts and poor and not college-bound. Sylvia thanks her tables of group projects and deadlines. “If I junior-high algebra teacher for believing she were to lose this, I’d sob like a baby,” she says. deserved a shot at the big time and then help- Her disarming, alluring charm would make ing her get into a magnet boarding school. her a potent interrogator for the cia. She leans However, Sylvia doesn’t think she’s anything far over the table and makes direct eye con- particularly special, or that capitalism is God’s tact at all times, on two occasions grabbing my Special Providence, or that she’s piggybacked notebook and pen and correcting misspell- on a big movement. She just thinks she’s a lucky ings. She tells me she loves Italian cinema and person and that good things happen to her. Alejandro González, kickboxing and hookah That may or may not be true. Case in point: smoking. I feel silly for trying to give her life Sylvia is now the president of the Chicano a storyline. Her favorite animal is the nephila Caucus, but she credits her election to being clavipes (one of the things she writes down), in the right place at the right time. (“I guess a three-inch long South American spider that it just sort of happened.”) Perhaps we’ll take lets other spiders live on its web “as long as Sylvia for her word. But she must have been they clean up after themselves.” That’s the good at her job because the prestigious Kluge oldest-sister-of-four in Sylvia talking — she Foundat ion awarded the Spanish Literature says that’s why she’s a leader at Columbia.