Shakespeare, Twelfth Night CAPTAIN adapted by Barbara Cobb True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance, Assure yourself, after our ship did split, 1.1 DUKE ORSINO's palace. I saw your brother, Enter DUKE ORSINO, CURIO Most provident in peril, bind himself, DUKE ORSINO To a strong mast that lived upon the sea. If music be the food of love, play on; VIOLA Give me excess of it, Enough; no more: For saying so, there's gold: [gives Captain coins] 'Tis not so sweet now as it was before. Knowest thou this country? O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou, CAPTAIN so full of shapes is fancy Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born That it alone is high fantastical. Not three hours' travel from this very place. CURIO VIOLA Will you go hunt, my lord? Who governs here? DUKE ORSINO CAPTAIN What, Curio? A noble duke, in nature as in name. CURIO VIOLA The hart. What is the name? DUKE ORSINO CAPTAIN Why, so I do, the noblest that I have: Orsino. O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, VIOLA Methought she purged the air of pestilence! Orsino! I have heard my father name him: That instant was I turn'd into a hart; He was a bachelor then. And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, CAPTAIN E'er since pursue me. And so is now, or was so very late; What news from her? For but a month ago I went from hence, CURIO And then 'twas fresh in murmur So please my lord, I might not be admitted; That he did seek the love of fair Olivia. But from her handmaid do return this answer: VIOLA The element itself, till seven years' heat, What's she? Shall not behold her face at ample view; CAPTAIN But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count And water once a day her chamber round That died some twelvemonth since, then leaving her With eye-offending brine: all this to season In the protection of his son, her brother, A brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh Who shortly also died: for whose dear love, And lasting in her sad remembrance. They say, she hath abjured the company DUKE ORSINO And sight of men. O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame VIOLA To pay this debt of love but to a brother, O that I served that lady How will she love, when the rich golden shaft And might not be delivered to the world, Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else Till I had made mine own occasion mellow, That live in her; What my estate is! Away before me to sweet beds of flowers: CAPTAIN Love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers. That were hard to compass; Exeunt Because she will admit no kind of suit, No, not even the duke's. 1.2 The sea-coast. VIOLA Enter VIOLA, Captain I prithee, Captain, and I'll pay thee bounteously, VIOLA Conceal what I am, and be my aid What country, friend, is this? For such disguise as haply shall become CAPTAIN The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke. This is Illyria, lady. CAPTAIN VIOLA Be you his servant, and your mute I'll be: And what should I do in Illyria? When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see. My brother he is in Elysium. VIOLA Perchance he is not drown'd: what think you, Captain? I thank thee: lead me on. CAPTAIN Exeunt It is only by chance that you yourself were saved. VIOLA O my poor brother! and so perchance may he be. 1.3 OLIVIA'S house. SIR TOBY BELCH Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA Pourquoi, my dear knight? SIR TOBY BELCH SIR ANDREW What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her What is 'Pourquoi'? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that brother thus? time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear- MARIA baiting. Sir Toby: your niece will have none of me: the count By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights: himself here hard by woos her. your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours. SIR TOBY BELCH You must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. She'll none o' the count: she'll not match above her degree, I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. that you brought in one night here to be her wooer. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH In that case, I'll stay. Shall we set about some revels? Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek? SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus? Ay, he. SIR ANDREW SIR TOBY BELCH Taurus! That's sides and heart. Why, he has three thousand ducats a year. SIR TOBY BELCH MARIA No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Exeunt Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats: he's a very fool and a prodigal. 1.4 DUKE ORSINO's palace. SIR TOBY BELCH Enter VIOLA as CESARIO and DUKE ORSINO Fie, that you'll say so! he plays o' the viol-de-gamboys, and DUKE ORSINO speaks three or four languages word for word without book, Cesario, I have unclasp'd and hath all the good gifts of nature. To thee the book even of my secret soul: MARIA Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto Olivia; He's a fool and a great quarreller: and but that he hath the gift Be not denied access. of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling he would VIOLA quickly have the gift of a grave. Sure, my noble lord, SIR TOBY BELCH If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow Here comes Sir Andrew Agueface. As it is spoke, she never will admit me. Enter SIR ANDREW DUKE ORSINO SIR ANDREW Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch! Rather than make unprofited return. SIR TOBY BELCH VIOLA Sweet Sir Andrew! Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then? SIR ANDREW DUKE ORSINO Bless you, fair shrew. O, then unfold the passion of my love, MARIA Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith: And you too, sir. It shall become thee well to act my woes. SIR TOBY BELCH VIOLA Accost, Sir Andrew, accost. I think not so, my lord. SIR ANDREW DUKE ORSINO What's that? Dear lad, believe it; SIR TOBY BELCH I know thy constellation is right apt My niece's chambermaid. For this affair. Prosper well in this, SIR ANDREW And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord, Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. To call his fortunes thine. MARIA VIOLA My name is Mary, sir. I'll do my best SIR ANDREW To woo your lady: (aside) yet, a barful strife! Good Mistress Mary Accost,-- For him I woo, myself would be his wife. SIR TOBY BELCH Exeunt You mistake, knight; 'accost' means assail her. SIR ANDREW 1.5 OLIVIA'S house. By my troth, I would not undertake it in this company. Is that Enter FESTE, OLIVIA, MALVOLIO the meaning of 'accost'? FESTE MARIA God bless thee, lady! Fare you well, gentlemen. OLIVIA Exit Take the fool away. SIR ANDREW FESTE I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby. Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady. OLIVIA MALVOLIO Sir, I bade them take away you. Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy; FESTE He is very well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly. Good madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool. OLIVIA OLIVIA Let him approach. Give me my veil: come, throw it o'er my Can you do it? face. We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy. FESTE Enter VIOLA, as Cesario Dexteriously, good madonna. VIOLA OLIVIA The honorable lady of the house, which is she? Make your proof. OLIVIA FESTE Speak to me; I shall answer for her. Good madonna, why mournest thou? Your will? OLIVIA VIOLA Good fool, for my brother's death. Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty,--I pray you, FESTE tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her: I I think his soul is in hell, madonna. would be loath to cast away my speech, for besides that it is OLIVIA excellently well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. I know his soul is in heaven, fool. OLIVIA FESTE Whence came you, sir? The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul VIOLA being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady OLIVIA of the house, that I may proceed in my speech. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not do well? OLIVIA MALVOLIO Are you a comedian? Come to what is important in't. I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. VIOLA OLIVIA Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis poetical. Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a OLIVIA distempered appetite. [knocking] It is the more like to be feigned[: I heard you were saucy at my Exit MALVOLIO gates, and I allowed your approach rather to wonder at you FESTE [to OLIVIA] than to hear you].