" _.._---~ - .-- -. -.-- ------ -------------- ,', t . SUNDAY EXPRESS Apn113, 2008 77 . ~ VIIIIIIIIReview ~.~\^-~. ~~ . was a box offrogs t:tlJre: AllAN OLlEY/Camera Press officially THOUGHborn in 1934, AUTOBIOGRAPHY Shirley MacLaine " " ~"^';: ~\.._~_"",~'t~.:~ . isIit 74 - she's ,.- .., nearer to 7,400. ..1,;,. -""..' J. This is because she ~***** has had "many,many lives, many, " Shirley MacLaine many births, and many, many , deaths". To prove her point she I ~.imoI1. ~ch~s.~er'.}~4:~~9 tells us: "1 have slept in the sarcophagus of the Kings' Chamber of the Great gastrointestinal symptoms and psychosexual Pyrand at Gizeh." We are also privy to facts dysfunctions. Then again, ill health n ght not be concerning her "past life in Atlantis" (the origin due to interptanetary pokes and prods. It could be apparently of her red-haired, white-skinned and because you take sugar, "a legalised poison". "slightly-slanted blue-eyed" appearance). At one Shirley also suspects the pharmaceutical time or other Shirley also possessed "both male industry and medical profession of plotting to and female genitalia," try though whether this. was a to kill us to ensure profitability. Modern medicine help or a hindrance she doesn't say. is "the number one cause of death every year". It's good to know that Shirley was as zany in Apart from taking Valium to sleep, Melatonin former aeons as she is in our own - it spreads the ("wonderful for the hair") and PriIosec and embarrassment. She's always odd doing things. N exium to alleviate acid. reflux problems, Shirley . She has hung around with the Masai in East Africa won't pop a pill "and birthed a few babies, who were named after If there. are husbands or children in Shirley's me". Finally, after sitting on a mountaintop in Peru: life,they don't merit a mention. Nor does her "1 left my body to witness the Earth below me." brother Warren Beatty. Her dog does though. "I have been a questioner all my life," she says in "With a dog you learn intimacy with yourself and a her latest effusion, with its horrible title, Sage-ing deeper capacity for friendship." Friendship with While Age-ing. Credulous would surely be a better other dogs or extraterrestrials she must mean word? There's barely a conspiracy theory or New because with humans: "1 won't pernt small talk, Age health fad that Shirley doesIit want to fall for. omy telling the truth as 1 see it regardless." She's convinced, for example,that our arnes are You have to remind yourself that Shirley isn't in Iraq to steal and decipher the cuneiform tablets omy an unusual obsessive, she also used to be a that derive from "the seat of the most advanced. marvellous actress. If you can get her off the ancient civilisation" that formerly existed there or subject of Attantis and on to a topic equally as thereabouts. bizarre, that's to say Hollywood, her showbiz tales FUrthermore, Shirley believes that the are first class. government of the United States has received We hear about Bob Fosse, who greeted her: "You visitors from outer space. Shirley has seen "a with the legs that start at your eyeballs." Jerry squadron of UFOs" buzzing the Capitol in Lewis's sulks are described, as are Frank Sinatra's Washington and is certain that President dealings with the Mafia. Dean Martin used to slink Eisenhower signed a treaty with extraterrestrial away from parties, preferring to watch Kojak "than races, allowing them to "furnish us with advanced risk a serious conversation". It is touching to learn technology" in return for pernssion to abduct that since the deaths of his daughter and humans and perform experiments on them. How granddaughter, Richard Attenborough cannot else have we acquired the skills to develop fihre listen to music,. "otherwise he would break down optics, integrated circuit chips, night-vision and fall apart". equipment, particle beam devices and gravity-. Shirley worked with Nicole Kidman, who controlled would . flight? <How indeed?) jet off to shoot commercials but on her.return More than 3.5 n on Americans, says Shirley, would speak "not a word about where she had have .. had direct contact with the star visitors, been". Mystique has to be preserved.. leaving them with nightmares, severe stress, . .' ROGER LEWIS . To order any bookS featured,post free (UK . only), please caU 0871 521 1302. You can also send a . Keep guessing to the end . cheque or PO to: The Express Bookshop, PO Box THERE IS not trustworthy odd-job-man who had been prison priest is not sure what to make 200, Falmouth TRll 4WJ or a lot of FICTION doing some work on their house. p of all this: responsible for Bourne's order online at - intellectual Bourne subsequ ntly finds himself on spiritual well-being, Michael is having a www.expressbookshop. kudos attached to [I:]; :mtJ~[~ death row. crisis of conscience of his own.. As a com. The . ... Jodi Express . reading Picoult r I Flash forward 11 years and Bourne is student he was on the which . but there is an awful *-ii:*** jury Bookshop offers a postage f waiting for his sentence to be carried convicted Bourne but in his heart he free (UKonly) servicefor lot of to be enjoy.ment J~t~ult out. He has always ctaimed he was has never been entirely convinced of aU books mentioned by the had. She has shot to innocent but he HOd~er.A:E.1~ I pleaded guilty during the man's guilt. Express {)r currently in his court case:He is now insisting that to -~;, __.... True fonn,Picoult keeps you print in the UK. CaUs cost a short very period of his dying wish according to his guessing to the end in this morality tale. lOp per minute from BT me, to the extent that her publishers uncanny knack of dreaniing up moral religious beliefs, which ought to be June changes her mind several times landlines. Iow aim to get out three books every dilemmas that you cannot ignore: you honoured under US law, is to donate his about whether she will accept Bourne's vo years. This i~ number 14. must know the resolution. How is this heart to Claire, who suffers from a rare heart and it turns out that Claire had It's easy for critics to sneer at this for an agonising choice: would you disease and is unable to find a donor ideas of her own,too. ind of commercial success but the fact grant your enemy's dying wish to save match. This is a challenging and clever read :, it comes with a guarantee: you know your child's life? To complicate matters, Shay Bourne which asks for a big suspension of NEW AUTHORS )u are going to get a roller-coaster June Nealon lost her first daughter, has attracted a religious following of disbelief but if you can get over that, it PUBLISH YOUR BOOK de of a plot. Elizabeth, when she was pregnant with devotees who insist that he is able to turns into an edge-of-your-seat thriller, ALL SUBJECTS INVITED Her novels have been described as her second, Claire. Elizabeth was killed perform n acIes. A prisoner with Aids with some thought-provoking wrangling WRITE OR SEND YOUR .....NUSCRIPT TO: me part romance, one part courtroom in" shooting with her stepfather Kurt, in the cell next to him appears to have over religious belief and the perils of ATHENA PRESS lriIler, two parts social commentary" a police officer. They both appeared to made an amazing recovery. When a self-righ1eousness along the way. QUEEN'S HOUSE, 2 HOLLY ROA.D, nd the latest thriller, Change Of have been murdered in cold blood by. bird flies into another cell and almost TWICKENHAM TW1 4EG. UK :eart, is no exception. Picoult has www.athenapres$.com an Shay Bourne, a simple but seemingly dies, Bow;!e brings it back to life. The VlV GROSKOP e-mail: [email protected] ~, \ " Client: Ministry of Defence Source: Daily Mail (Main) Date: 06 August 2007 Page: 31 e Circulation: 2352183 Area(cm2): 526 . Britain's -files From alien in a Hastings garden to flying scooter in Stevenage,the MoD reveals its list of sightings . '.':':.\ ..... '. ........ 'I..~Dtb8 after tb1a year'a 80th are e ~..' , ' . of ~~.a1I" 'snnlyenary t1ae . ..,LeV; In aU_iredHew ..aid. tbIDJaI'tbe7 haft aUen ~.landlDlr RonreD. ~.~ have seen bJaek . would 'J.P.'you a large Mexico. ~ ~ J say. ,'uare In'tbe sk7. a gla~,t Robert Rosamond, cbaIrmaD of .~~..~,_ ~..craft. BdUab UPO Re8AuoCIa- :Escooter . an 0" de1ourJd~'~'o.-even_~ ~~OD[.~ald: 'These !Ilea giye .'':~., :,;.: .q~WlSIDaIpt loto tm l .yoU are not alone.. ... phenomena - moat IDteresUocIa an. '~sl8bID~ocIare~tto:C: .'~tbIa strucQJredor.. abape. ~:EJ~:...':',,";~~ : 'Ai'oUDd 118 per <<:em atceIIM can be e aner tbe lIoD expla1Ded.'I'be "'"'....,..c two pel' . deCided toeme~ pub witneu . untdentUled ~aeen In . cem.keep..~~'MoD cbJet t t.be objecta. Lad fqllDu 0, In our ~. attacked our aJdes - and oceuIoiIaIIJ w.nI8COIII&8I.. c:lie - foDowIQ p"~ iIit ... ~ ~ena a"'" aJI aDJ Ume. of reque.. under 'U1e fteedoaa;__ NIck badju down .IntOnDatIOD Act. ,as " bead~ Ulr: ~ d~ The JDIDiatI'7'a webllte sbowa that mI!Id, ~ '.UI'O~~~.'"-d. '"ID JOOI alone there were VI repoded been eDed'. ;QPO It... ~ aipunp went ,. "p~ ':.''''Pclt~'lie and ~e ~n.peerinlr t~up tb~a o~" added. kitchen wlndo... ..... spotHdby . ~,....'1rkIe opeo to"". couple In Hastlnp. Same cilu......tm CD arauabI:r Another witDesa reported bnrIDII be descriptions alDlUllliYe bImC above stan-AweS ~ the- aa 'VIanBIe before two ~ pyen fUCIr LoadoD, IIIrp an- .........