February 28 , 1925 Price 15 cents NEW YORKER OLURD BALLOON RE . O - ( 0 U . S . Royal Cord Balloon Tires Note the Scientific Tread Design UJERE is a convincing sales point with strain and wear evenly over the entire tread 11 which the U . S . Tire Dealer is selling surface . Now note also that the tread blocks many a tire these days — are made relatively small . Visualize the action of a Balloon Tire on This is very necessary in a balloon tire . If the the road , and the science of this Royal Cord tread blocks are made larger , they throw heavy tread design immediately makes itself clear . strains on the tire . The U . S . Royal Cord Balloon Tire is built of Under load , the entire width of the tread latex - treated Web Cord - strong and flexible . is in contact with the road . So the outside It is accurately balanced . It is scientifically tread blocks have been built up to give a designed for maximum comfort , safety and ser semi - flat contour . vice life . This reduces the flexing action of the tread shoulders , distributing the United States Rubber Company TRADE TRADE MARK UNITED STATES TIRES A R E GOOD TIRES The New YorkER , published weekly by The F - R Pub . Corp . , 25 W . 45th St . , New York , N . Y . Subscription $ 5 . 00 . Vol . 1 , No . 2 . Feb . 28 , 1925 . Application for entry as second class matter pending . THE NEW YORKER Advisory Editors : Ralph Barton , Marc Connelly , Rea Irvin , George S . Kaufman , Alice Duer Miller , Dorothy Parker , Alexander Woollcott THE TALK OF THE TOWN I AST week saw Spring coquetting on Fifth Ave I hope that eventually the orderly arrangement of nue , but aside from that uncalendared escapade dining car sittings will be able to do away with the ( did you ever notice that sunny late - winter days annoying no - smoking - in - the - diner rule . The sole rea on the Avenue always seem brighter and more gay son for its existence to - day is its discouragement of the with promise than anywhere else in town ? ) there lingering passenger who likes a cigarette or cigar with weren ' t many events of interest to mention in my his coffee . I should think the perfect working of the letter to Aunt Evelyn in Dubuque . Despite implica - new system would allow the momentary comfort of tions of the catch - line of a certain new magazine most tobacco in the minute and three - quarters consumed of the old ladies in Dubuque are most keenly inter - by the waiters in bringing change . ested in things that are supposed to interest only New Yorkers . However , I told her about the number of men pop I used to think that ping up from the South for a few days with offensively tanned faces and the irritating information that they “ They needed an angel in heaven intend to go back again in a couple of days for an So God took Caruso away . ” other month of tropic ease . I thank my lares and was the Height of Something in belles lettres but in penates that at least the time is not ripe yet for their that mist of the dawn ahead in which one senses Per insufferable farewells as they steam away for sum fection an even higher monument to beauty has taken mers abroad . form out of the haze . It is the following from a new popular song entitled “ My Kid ” : Ciro ' s opened the other night with Mary Hay and “ He comes downstairs in his little white nightie Clifton Webb as the supper club ' s dancing team and when they inaugurated their partnership last Tuesday And says his prayers to God Almighty . ” night a noticeably smart crowd filled the place . I I am told it is making thousands of better men and didn ' t go myself after an attache of the restaurant women in vaudeville and night club circles . discounted the need of any further guests the opening night by declining , over the phone , to reserve a table for Aunt Evelyn ' s nephew . The elderly matron with the lifted face has become so common that it must be a very good joke about her that gets even a glancing attention . But the case of I ' d have been obliged to forego the event anyway , Mrs . Louise Conti , 83 years old , erstwhile bathroom it turned out , as a sudden call took me to Baltimore maid at the Plaza , demands a pause in the day ' s occu for the night . The Congressional Limited , I discov - pations . It seems , says the World , that Mrs . Conti has ered , has put in practice the dining car booking system worked hard all her life . When she was 78 , Mrs . one finds on trains in England . Sittings are assigned Conti was still able to stand on her hands . by cards distributed by the dining car steward an hour But a few months ago , despite her matutinal ap or so before the diner is open . It ' s a good system , as plication to the programs of calisthenics in the news the English found out several years ago , though it papers , she found herself a bit stiff in one or two was not functioning any too smoothly on the Limited . muscles when the day ' s work of cleaning forty or When three of us marched in , as our cards provided , fifty bath tubs was over . There were unquestionably at 6 : 15 , to take our places at Table A - 8 , four in - wrinkles in her hands . So she accepted the invitation dividualists were firmly intrenchered . I hope , never - of a beauty specialist whose newspaper advertisement theless , that the system can be put into practice over informed her that a free clinic was available for such here as I know of few unhappier moments than that as she . She tried to take advantage of the offer , but of discovering , after a feeling progress through five to her discomfiture and the amazement of the beauty or six cars , that the corridor of the diner is packed doctors her skin was fine and clear , her teeth were like a six o ' clock subway train . sound , her eyes were bright and from her conversa THE NEW YORKER tion in fluent Italian , French , Spanish and English it of the Army , Navy or National Guard , there is often was obvious that she was vivacious , charming , and a lack of that precision which characterizes the march toujours gai or very nearly . They couldn ' t do much ing of our West Point cadets . But the magnificence about the wrinkles in her hands . of uniform more than makes up for any slight tech nical lack , and it would indeed be a captious critic who would find fault with the appearance of the Guard . Having held its ninety - ninth annual reception and Back in the early days , the organization was known ball the Old Guard has at once subsided into that as the Light Guard and began its career on the Bow lethargy which it maintains between these annual ery . In the ' 30s it was merged with the City Guard functions . However , it is not quite fair to the Old and as such both continued until the Civil War when Guard to intimate that it does nothing but give a they were absorbed by larger commands . After that ball each year , though to do even that steadily for war the veterans of each got together and in 1868 the ninety - nine years requires a certain amount of tenacity . Old Guard was chartered by the State of New York . In addition , the Old Guard has become a standard For many years the annual ball was held in the old part of any New York parade . Academy of Music , and I believe , was also at one time Lined up in their towering bearskin shakos , wearing held in the Madison Square Garden . Still later it their famous uniform of blue trousers and swallow was transferred to the Metropolitan Opera House . tailed coats of white decorated with blue , red and In those days it was classed as one of the " wine gold facings , these doughy warriors are one of the few balls , ” a slang term applied to the large public dances links connecting New York with its past . From to which the wine merchants of the city would send the gold tassels topping off their prodigious shakos to representatives to give away quantities of wine and the tips of their impressive boots the members of the champagne as advertisements for their products . Natu Old Guard have not altered for a century . rally , balls in those days were gayer and more lively While the call to duty at parades or for the mass - affairs , but the Old Guard has managed to withstand ing of the colors at the ball never finds the members even the rigors of prohibition , though many of the lacking in alacrity there is not the same enthusiasm older members aver that the annual gatherings are for drills , which are not compulsory . Thus , although not what they used to be . all members of the organization were once members Theodore Roosevelt was a member of the Old SA Clifton Webb and THE NEW YORKER Guard and at the time of his death was one of that By the way , the oyster scare seems to be finished . venerable body ' s honorary members along with such Despite the sudden appearance of small cards attached notables as King Albert , the Prince of Wales , to the cartes du jour in restaurants , which testified that Marshals Foch , Joffre and Haig , Generals Pershing , the oysters in those restaurants were not only germless Wood and Bullard , and until the election of President but the social equals of the best hors d ' ouvres in the Harding , was the only President to be placed among world , people refused to eat them .