Beyond Anatole: Dining with Wodehouse b y D a n C o h en FTER stuffing myself to the eyeballs at Thanks­ eats and drinks so much that about twice a year he has to A giving and still facing several days of cold turkey go to one of the spas to get planed down. and turkey hash, I began to brood upon the subject Bertie himself is a big eater. He starts with tea in of food and eating as they appear in Plums stories and bed— no calories in that—but it is sometimes accom­ novels. panied by toast. Then there is breakfast, usually eggs and Like me, most of Wodehouse’s characters were bacon, with toast and marmalade. Then there is coffee. hearty eaters. So a good place to start an examination of With cream? We don’t know. There are some variations: food in Wodehouse is with the intriguing little article in he will take kippers, sausages, ham, or kidneys on toast the September issue of Wooster Sauce, the journal of the and mushrooms. UK Wodehouse Society, by James Clayton. The title asks Lunch is usually at the Drones. But it is invariably the question, “Why Isn’t Bertie Fat?” Bertie is consistent­ preceded by a cocktail or two. In Right Hoy Jeeves, he ly described as being slender, willowy or lissome. No describes having two dry martinis before lunch. I don’t hint of fat. know how many calories there are in a martini, but it’s Can it be heredity? We know nothing of Bertie’s par­ not a diet drink. Lunch is accompanied by wine and ents, but Aunt Dahlia, while never described as fat, was there may be a little something afterwards. clearly a robust woman with a hearty appetite for food If it’s a stressful day, there will be a little something and drink. Bertie’s Uncle George was a classic else to restore the tissues. Bertie also takes afternoon tea. Wodehouse fat uncle. He’s the prominent London club­ I don’t mean just a cup of tea, but tea accompanied by man whose tailors measure him just for the exercise. He buttered toast or muffins, cake, or tea sandwiches. IMu Oiock&is a COOKBOOK Which of these (cookbook would best please the Wooster—or the Wodehouse—palate? Dan Cohen provides some surprising answers in this article. Julia ( hiId NEW AND REVI5ED EDITION * G O LD EN ' co-author of .Ifajfivfrjr thr Art of Frrnsh Cooking And then comes dinner! Probably around eight not generally a serve-yourself buffet that is so familiar o’clock. Dinner would usually have been the main meal of today. The diner would see what he liked and then order it the day. If it was prepared by Jeeves in the flat it would be from the waiter who would bring it to his table. The cold fairly simple. But more often than not Bertie dines out. table plays a role in a couple of stories, and they give us an There would be dinner at the Drones, or at some good idea of what it contained. There was the game pie at the restaurant. But his most memorable dinners were at Drones that Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright hit with six consec­ country houses— particularly Brinkley Manor, where the utive bread rolls from across the room. fabled Anatole presides over the kitchen. In The Code o f the Woosters Sir Watkyn Bassett lures Near the end of The Code o f the Woosters Bertie and Uncle Tom to lunch at his club. At this club the cold table is Aunt Dahlia plan a get-out-of-jail dinner for Bertie— in the center of the room where Uncle Tom cannot avoid cooked by Anatole. It consists of nineteen courses— all looking at such dishes as cold lobster and sliced cucum­ French and all fattening. bers, which he adores, but which someone with his delicate Dinners, whether cooked by Anatole or not, were pre­ digestion should never touch. He can’t control himself and ceded by cocktails, accompanied by wine, and finished off devours pounds of the stuff. The result is a monumental with port or some other after-dinner drink. And then there attack of indigestion that makes it impossible for Uncle was the nightcap— usually a whisky and s. Tom to purchase the cow creamer of his dreams. Sir There would have been more food and drink if he went Watkin gets it instead, and this sets up a chain of circum­ to a night club, though the kipper and bottle of liquid rat stances which puts Bertie waist deep in the gumbo yet poison labeled wine that was served at the Mottled Oyster again. isn’t exactly appetizing. The only place where a genuine serve-yourself buffet I think we can all agree that there is a whole lot of eat­ appears is at English country house breakfasts, where there ing going on here. So we return to the question, Why isn’t is an elaborate array of eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, kippers, Bertie fat? etc., presumably set out in heated dishes— a lot like Sunday James Clayton says, Perhaps he works it all off in exer­ brunch at the Best Western. In Right Ho, Jeeves there is the cise. But he quickly and properly dismisses that argument. cold collation, a self-serve array of cold foods— cheese, Some of Bertie’s old schoolmates like Tuppy Glossop, boiled eggs, and the like, that is eaten at Brinkley Court Stilton Cheesewright, Beefy Bingham, even Bingo Little, one evening in order to give the servants time off to go to a have put on some pounds— and both Tuppy and Stilton dance. are quite athletic. We must assume that unless Bertie has a Dinner at the club was more elaborate than lunch. It tapeworm, or is suffering from some wasting disease, he’s would usually offer a five-course meal, but with little going to get fat someday. Then he, like his Uncle George, choice. This would be made up of soup, fish, a bird will be off to Harrogate. (grouse, partridge, etc.), roast beef (or some other roast), and a pudding, plus biscuits and cheese. F ALL the meals described in the Wodehouse canon According to Norman, it is a fact that nursery food is O the club lunch is probably mentioned most fre­ still very popular in certain senior clubs. Roly-poly with quently. Particularly lunch at the Drones or Senior lots of jam, and rice pudding— also with lots of jam — still Conservative Club. But what did the diner actually eat attract a lot of surprisingly famous gentlemen who can’t get when he went to his club for lunch? Since I have been them at the Savoy or Claridges. blackballed at every London club I ever applied to I don’t Norman added this note: England lost an order of know first hand. So I turned to the invaluable Norman dress and a course from the menu with each major war. In Murphy to enlighten me. the First World War, frock coats went out and so did the During the 1920s and ’30s— when most of the stories compulsory bird for dinner. In the Second World War, we are set— the diner would look at the menu and then write lost morning dress as a customary clothing and the fish out his order, sign it, and give it to the head waiter. Or the course tended to go. All meals in clubs would be served by waiter might just come to the table and take down the waiters. Only since the last war would you have these help- order, the way most waiters do today. yourselfbuffets. Lunch would be fairly limited. There would be one or Those who lunch at the dub are serious about their two sorts of soup and then a choice of lamb chop, pork eating. In Something Fresh we find the Earl of Emsworth chop, or roast beef. This would be followed by dessert or entering the Senior Conservative Club for lunch. The pudding as it was frequently called, some sort of sweet. Senior Conservative is a huge dub, having thousands of There was also the cold table. This was an array of cold members, and there would be several hundred in the din­ food set out on a long table at the side of the room. It was ing room for lunch. 2 Plum Lines Vol. 23 No. 3-4 Autumn/Winter 2002 Nobody appeared to notice him....To attract atten­ with his food, while white-robed priests wheeling their tion in the dining-room of the Senior Conservative Club smoking trucks move to and fro, ever ready with fresh between the hours of one and two-thirty, you have to be supplies. a mutton-chop, not an earl. All round the room, some at small tables, some at large tables, the worshipers sit, in their eyes that resolute A contrast between lunching at the Senior concentrated look which is the particular property of the Conservative and lunching at the Drones is sharply drawn British luncher, ex-President Roosevelt’s man-eating in Leave it to Pstnith: fish, and the American army-worm. These clubs ranged from the Drones, frankly frivo­ The American army-worm, incidentally, is a particu­ lous, to the Senior Conservative, solidly worthy. Almost larly voracious kind of caterpillar. immediately Psmith decided that for such a mood as was Near the end of Psmith in the City, probably Plums upon him at the moment, the latter might have been spe­ most autobiographical novel in its descriptions of working cially constructed.