Thalia Volume 1 | Issue 3 Article 1 12-1928 Thalia, Vol. 1, Issue 3 (December 1928) Follow this and additional works at: http://scholar.dickinson.edu/thalia Part of the Creative Writing Commons Recommended Citation (1928) "Thalia, Vol. 1, Issue 3 (December 1928)," Thalia: Vol. 1: Iss. 3, Article 1. Available at: http://scholar.dickinson.edu/thalia/vol1/iss3/1 This Complete Issue is brought to you for free and open access by the Publications at Dickinson Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in Thalia by an authorized administrator of Dickinson Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. December, 1928 THALIA 1 Carter's Drug Store Eastman Films, etc. Developing, Printing and Enlarging The Chocolat' Shop Whitman's Chocolates 28 South Hanover Street JOHNS ''Hell,'' said the devil when he answered the telephone. -M inlc. I I I SODAS MARY LEE They tell a story about a tiny ant who gazed CANDIES longingly but helplessly at the body of a dead horse. Just then a bootlegger's truck rattled by SALTED NUTS and a case of stuff fell over the endgate and crashed to the ground. A puddle formed and the ant took one sip. Then he seized the dead horse FINE by the tail and shouted : ''Come on, big boy, we 're CONFECTIONS CIGARETTES going home." -Ranger. 35 W. High Street Famous Surgeon: ''I have been treating men for ten years and have never heard a complaint. What does that prove?'' Dorothy Steele Voice from rear : ''Dead men tell no tales.'' -Pick-np. Book Store I I I It was a special picture, but he did not know that the price was raised. He handed the ticket seller a dollar bill, and when the t. s. said, "a dollar for the girl,'' he answered, ''she's yours.'' Stationery -Pitt Panther. I I I Luggage Reporter : c c Hello. I'm calling from the Weekly office, Mr. Kazelka. Can you give me a little story on. grafting?'' Picture Framing Voice : ''Call the Book Store.'' -Pitt Panther. Eat in Catering to Strand Theatre Building Clover Parties Carlisle, Pennsylvania 141 WEST HIGH STREET, CARLISLE 2 THALIA December, 1928 CIGARS CIGARETTES .TOBACCO Charles W. Burns, Dickinson'24 CARLISLE RECREATION CENTER Campaign Manager for 50 West Hi~h Street HOOVER AND SMITH, Jewelers PIPES CANDY SOFT DRINKS SHOESHINE PARLOR The Last Word in Pocket Billiard Tables Democrats and Republicans Both Satisfied ''Daughter, tell that young man to take his arm Rusher-'' So you 're from the Mississippi bot• away from you.'' · tom. Tell me, what's the best way to catch cat• ''You better tell him, father-he's a perfect fish?" stranger to me, and how many times haven't you Rusher-'' Well down home we use tobacco for told me not to speak to strange men t " bait. Then when the fish come up to spit, we -Jester. knock 'em on the head with an axe.'' I I I -Pnrvle Parrot. '' God save the king ! '' yelled the bridge player, I I I as someone. shoved a trump on his ace. GOOD REASON -Virginia Reel. I I I "Ther·e 's an act at the show in which the actors wear furs worth thousands of dollars. '' TOO MUCH! "How in the world did that miracle happen?" The Spatts had been at it again. ''Oh, you see it's this way; it's a trained seal ''.And furthermore,'' sa:ld Mrs., concluding her act.'' long tirade, "you certainly aren't much of a hus• I I I band." '' vVe ll, my dear, '' Mr. retorted, wearily ''I can Then there was the little umpire who was ter• truthfully say that yon are a lot of wife.'' rorized by the large colored gentleman at bat. I I I "Strike one!" said the umpire, timorously. The huge colored gent raised his bat, but finally com• ''Will you join me in a bowl of soup i " promised with a glare that meant he was giving "Do you think there'd be room for both of us1" his prospective victim one more chance. Another -Purple Parrot. ball came whizzing ''through the middle.'' ''Two!'' yelled the umpire. ''Two what r" roared the dusky The Man Who "Bags at the Knees" Neglects His giant, gathering himself for an assault. ''Too True Personality high,'' said the umpire. King Solomon himself MOORHEAD'S never made a wiser decision. Cleaning Pressing Repairing All Work Guaranteed Formerly Forman' s Photographs tell the Story ADVICE TO GIRLS WALKING ON HIGH• Especially, those made by WAYS HOOVER, THE PHOTOGRAPHER If cars containing young men slow up so. as to allow the occupants to begin conversation with you, always relieve the situation by asking them if they SELF-PRES.ERVATION are heading north. When they admit that they He-"We're coming to a tunnel. .Are you are, ask them coyly to remember you to the afraid f' Eskimos. Continue walking unless they take more She-"Not if you take that cigar out of your than two shots at you. mouth." -Coliirnns. -Nebra.slca Awgwan. Smokers' Supplies Fine Candies Drugs, Stationery H. M. TRAYER STEPHENS' DRUG STORE W. G. STEPHENS, '16 Carlisle's Leading Shoe Repairer Visit the Soda Grill Student Headquarters 143 WEST SOUTH STREET December, 1928 THALIA 3 ''But father,'' wrote the college son, ''yon don't know how money goes ! '' ''But son,'' answered the practical father, "you dont know how money comes ! '' -Owl. CARLISLE .DINER~ DINE WITH US Open Day and Nigb t I W. High Street Carlisle, Pa. I She: ''How comes that fellow didn't return your 'hello'?'' He: ''Oh, he's a fraternity brother of mine and wouldn't return anything.'' =-Plaminqo. J. Fred Brown Barber SENTINEL BUILDING -:- CARLISLE, PA. Angry Custonier-'' These eggs aren't fresh.'' He: Shall we sit in the parlor 1 Indignant Grocer-''Not fresh t Why, the boy She: No, I'm too tired-let's go out and play brought them from the country this morning." tennis. -Belle Hop. Customer-'' What country i " -Wash. Couqar's Paw. Every five weeks-all year, W. G. FLY will show you the "Say It With Flowers" BALFOUR Robbins Brothers, Florists line of FRATERNITY JEWELRY Argonne Building Carlisle Burgler: Where have you been? She was only an artist's daughter, but-c-boy i->• His Partner: Robbing a fraternity house. what a crowd she could draw! Burgler: Lose anything 9 Black & Elite Jay -Kitty Kat. I I I WHY, TOMMY! Father, mother and little Tommy were in the street car. Tommy and his mother had secured J. Harold Wert seats, but poor father had to stand. Mother: ''Tommy, doesn't it pain you to see your father reaching for a strap t " MEN'S FURNISHINGS Tommy: ''Only at home, mother.'' Compliments o; Carlisle and Hanover, Pa. L. B. HALBERT 4 THALIA December, 1928 "Dinah," asked Mrs. Whistlebaum, "I looked all over for you today. Where on earth were "STEW" BLACK you 7" AND "Ah was blackberrying, Mis' Whisbum." His Band ''You were blackberrying 7" "Yessum it was mah cousin Joe's funeral." Dispensing Dance Music DeLuxe -Pointer. I /I \ J. STEWART BLACK, Manager Wit (passing plumber's shop and reading sign 1119 N. 15th Street "Cast Iron Sinks'')-" Anybody knows that." =Dartmouth. Jcck-oi-Laniern: Bell Phone 2-3019 Harrisburg, Pa. "HOT SOCKS" IIe (enthusiaetically l-e-" Would you like to go to the opera next week, and then to the Ritz for "JOHNNY" DIEHL'S dinner 7" She (rapturously)-"! would be delighted!" Blue Ridge Stampers Music for the Discriminating IIe-'' Then go ahead.'' -Georgia Cracker. "STOMPS" "BLUES" Featuri.ng all versatile entertainers and latest Broadway songs and tunes. Bell Phone 426 Pitt Street 7 89- J Carlisle, Pa. I STILL FEEL FUNNY AT HOME (Dance Committee) If it's a peppy dance you After four years of hand-shaking, dating, rally 's, want bull sessions, chaperones, cigarette lighters, and "Eddie" Brubaker trench coats, I still feel out of place when I go and his home and find the Ladies Aid convening at our Radio Entertainers house. -Selected. "Know How and Can" I I I Phone, Wire or Write Evelyn: Did you ever know a man who closed "Eddie Brubaker" his eyes when he kissed 7 1512),1 N. Fourth St. Vivian: I never saw one do it yet.-Life. Harrisburg, Pa. As a matter of form, "may I kiss you f' he asked Of his "blind "-though she minced "I don't wanna'' He knew she meant ''yes,,'' But she was such a mess, Boiling Springs 'I'hat he winced as HE sighed, "I don't wanna." -Awgwan. SWIMMING POOL I I I Said the pledge to the active, "Aw, go soak your Finest Outdoor Pool in head'' Here's your pin, for I'll keep it no more Central Pennsylvania They were awf'ly surprised But the cause they surmised PURE WATER and All Modern Equipment The Dean's orders, ''a train leaves at four. =Seiected. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[ @ w @ w @ w @ w ~ Song ~ @ rr W @ w ~ MAIDENS of Dickinson, Ah! how you ch arm. us! ~ @ So simvle) alluring) so naive and sioeet ). W @ Smiles that deceive us) and eyes that disarm u», W @ Ad infinitum-)vails not to repeat. W @ Witty and clever) W @ Shining forever) W @ Loves of our youth who to memory are dear ! W @ Faithful in Duty) W @ Homage to Beauty! W @ June)s are the roses that never gro'w sere! W @ @ Maidens of Dickinson) we will remember; wW @ Who with the soul of a man could for,ryet? W @ The rose and its fragrance are gone in December) ~ @ The faith and the beauty abide untl: us yet! W (~ -Dear Alma Mater).