8 / C H I C K E N QA B A l A H may as well all be correct!) We'll talk about that more when you are a little more familiar with the Hebrew alphabet. Is it hard to become a Chicken Qabalist? Hell no! Don't worry about it. But, if you feel you need some exter­ nal validation, sign this, cut it out and put it in your wallet. No need to send in an application or pay any dues. If the omniscient Deity really exists, It will surely recognize your bold act of spiritual audacity. Zerrubbabel Institute of Philosophical Youth Z.I.P.Y. This is to certify that wallows guiltlessly in the nonsectarian freedom of thought exemplified in the Mystical Science of the Chicken Qabbalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford and because of that act of intelligence and good taste is entitled to the honor and respect of all self-assured and unpretentious seekers of truth everywhere, and fo rever is entitled to bear the august tide of CHICKEN QABALIST "Hell no.' I do n't worryabout it."' Figure 1. Walletcard forthe Chicken Qabalist. 16 I CHICKEN �\ BALAII THE TEN COMMAND-RANTS / 17 SEPHER YETZIRAH / 33 elbow room in which the entire universe manifests. Their names are: M Aleph-Updown, Q Mem-Eastwest, and rzl Shin-Northsouth. Dost thou get this? Needest thou a picture? Then behold figure 3. N Aleph-Updown W Shin-Norrhsouth C Mem-Eastwest Figure 3. Th e Th ree Fa mous Dimensional Tw ins. THE 7 DOUBLE LETTERS The Double Letters are 7. Seven not 8, not 6 or FlO. Hoist them up your flagpole. Clear your palate with them. Spay or neuter them, and spring fo r the Creator's bail. The 7 Double Letters-� , � .= , ' �-(Beth, Gimel, Daleth, Kaph, Peh, Resh, Tau) are rather confusedand can be pronounced in a hard way and in a softway. Because they can't make up their minds, they symbolize seven opposites: Life-Death, Peace-War, Wisdom­ Folly, Wealth-Poverty, Beauty-Ugliness, Fruitfulness-Sterility, and Dominion-Slavery. The 7 Double Letters also stand fo r the six dimensions (that were created when the Three Famous Dimensional Twins did their act and stretched themselves out). � Beth fo r Above, ' Gimel fo r Below, , Daleth fo r East, .=Kaph fo r West, � Peh fo r North, , Resh for South, and the hardworking � Tau stands in the center and holds the whole thing together. Wilt thou need us to draw you another picture? Lookest to figure 4 (page 34). 34 I CHICKEN QA BALAH � Beth-Above �I : Peh-North 0 C � Kaph-West � D•lcth-E�t ______> � :���----D o-0 1 Center ., Resh-South I lI cl=:> -' Gimel-Below Figure 4. Th e Center and Six Dimensions. The 7 Double Letters also stand fo r lots of other things, such as days of the week, and nostril holes, and other body openings. But who cares about that stuff! First and fo remost, they represent the seven planets in the solar system, and the spheres of consciousness those planets represent: � Beth fo r Mercury, ' Gimel fo r the Moon, , Daleth fo r Ve nus, � Kaph fo r Jupiter, � Peh fo r Mars, ., Resh for the Sun, and M Tau fo r Saturn.9 THE TWELVE SIMPLE LETTERS Tw elve are the Simple Letters. Twelve not 11, not-oh, you get the picture. Send out a memo. Brush and floss. Shampoo and fluffdry them, and rewrite the Creator's permanent record. The twelve Simple Letters�' J V C � � � � n , , M-(Heh, Vau, Zain, Cheth, Te th, Yo d, Lamed, Nun, Samekh, Ayin, Tzaddi, and Qoph) are attributed to the oblique points, or edges, that were created when the six dimensions (that were created when the Three Famous Dimensional Tw ins did their act) were sealed and ran into each other at right angles: M Heh, North East; , Vau, South East; , Zain, East Above; n Cheth, East Below; � Te th, North Above; � Yo d, North Below; � Lamed, North We st; � Nun, South West; SEPHER YETZIRAH / 35 C Samekh,West Above; V Ayin, West Below; � Tzaddi, South Above; i' Qoph, South Below. Art thou fo llowing this? Wilt thou need another picture? See thou figure 5. The Tw elve Simple Letters also stand fo r lots of other things, such as months of the year, eggs in a carton, organs in the human body-but who cares! First and fo remost they represent the twelve constellations-the twelve signs of the zodiac-and the spheres of consciousness those twelve signs represent: ii Heh, Aries; , Vau, Taurus; � Zain, Gemini; M Cheth, Cancer; � Teth, Leo; � Yo d, Virgo; � Lamed, Libra; .l Nun, Scorpio; C Samekh, Sagittarius; V Ayin, Capricorn; � Tzaddi, Aquarius; i' Qoph, Pisces. to Te th #'. North Above �s�� o'" e- � ,.e- � '\1>�\. �0 �e;o;,"- �Tzaddi ��o;,"- South Above .... ...c:: � .... <u w ::r: .... u -5... "' 13 "' E "" r: 0 c: ::l w z ::l � j -5�... � z ...c::.... ..I' -5 .... ::l ::l z 0 (/) (/)0 �Yod · North Below '?--'1\.� �04' e,:S. �e; �(;���04' "- �e;o;,"- i' Qoph ��o;, South Below Figure 5. Th e Tw elve Edges. Created by the Center and the Six Dimensions after the Th ree Dimensional Tw ins did their stretching act. 3 8 / C H I C K E N QA B A L A H David Godwin, Godwin'sCa balistic Encyclop edia (St. Paul: Llewellyn, 1994); Ehud Ben Ye huda, Ben-Yehuda's Pocket English-Hebrew He brew­ English Dictionary (New Yo rk: Pocket Books, 1991). We must remember that Ben Cliffo rd wrote this little twenty-five page essay simply to help beginning students remember how to rec­ ognize and correctly draw each Hebrew letter. I believe he succeeded admirably in doing this. Several of his descriptions evoke bizarre and unforgettable images: "Tau looks like a Resh holding a dead dolphin by the tail," or "Lamed looks like a snake that has swallowed a brick and is now having second thoughts." As a purely Qabalistic work, however, this essay is far from com­ prehensive. His comments on the letters are limited primarily to basic definitions of the letters. Occasionally he muses briefly about how the primitive meanings may be applied to cosmic, psychologi­ cal, or sexual principles, but fo r the most part, he seems satisfied to offe r us simply an appetizer to fu rther food fo r thought. The stunning exception is fo und in his comments on the letter Yod. I strongly urge the reader to carefully read and re-read that section. In 210 words, Ben Cliffo rd casually reveals the supreme symbolic secret of creation by drawing our attention to that most mysterious of natural numbers known to mathematicians as the Greek letter Phi, and to architects as the Golden Mean or Golden Section. This number, or ratio (1.6180339887499), like the irrational Figure 6. Yod, the Golden Mean, Yi n-Yang. 42 I CHICKEN Q],BALAH 3 MOTHE R LETTERS [representing three primal elements} N Aleph QMem W Shin -A v 6. Air Water Fire 7 DOUBL E LETTERS [representing the seven planets of the ancients) �Beth , Daleth �Kaph � Peh 'Gimel , Resh MTau 'tj. Q � c! J) 0 ll Mercury Venus Jupiter Mars Moon Sun Saturn 12 SIM PLE LE TTERS {representing the twelve signs of the zodiac} � Lamed :9: Libra iT Heh 'Y' Aries �Nun Jl1 Scorpio , Vau tj Ta urus c Samekh Sagittarius , Zain ):::( Gemini ;l' Ayin 'fj Capricorn M Cheth §Cancer v :lt Tzaddi �Aquarius � Te th .Q Leo � oph )(Pisces Yo d f1PVirgo i' Q Figure 7. Th ese 22 Letters join the 10 Sephiroth and, in do ing so, create the Tree of Life. THE HEBREW ALPHABET / 43 Figure 8. The Tree of Life. Table 1. Hebrew Letters, Attributes, and Co rrespondences. He brew Letter Number Spelling Meaning Letter Attribute Tarot and English Va lue and Tjpe Trump Equivalent Number tot A I C'J�N Ox Mother Air 0 ALP Fool Ill .': B 2 �.': House Double Mercury I BYTh Magus 412 ' G 3 �Q' Camel Double Moon II GML High 73 Priestess , D 4 f'l� Door Double Ve nus III DLTh Empress 434 iT H 5 iTiT Window Simple Aries IV HH Emperor IO , V,W, 6 , Nail Simple Taurus v U, F, vv Hierophant 0 2 ' z 7 f"'l Sword Simple Gemini VI ZYN Lovers 67 n Ch 8 � Fence Simple Cancer VII ChYTh Chariot 418 c T 9 f'I"C Serpent Simple Leo VIII (or XI) TYTh Strength 419 • Y, I, IO ,,. Hand Simple Virgo IX J YVD Hermit 20 � K 20 or C'J� Palm of Double Jupiter X (1) 500 KP Hand Fortune (Final) IOO Table 1. He brew Letters, Attributes, and Correspondences (c ont.}. Hebrew Letter Nu mber Sp elling Mea ning Letter Attribute Tarot and English Value and Tjpe Trump Eq uivalent Nu mber " L 30 ,oC, Ox Goad Simple Libra XI (or VIII) LMD Justice 74 c M 40 or C"C Water Mother Water XII (C) 600 MYM Hanged (Final) 90 Man J N 50 or PJ Fish Simple Scorpio XIII (j) 700 NVN Death (Final) 106 c s 60 1CC Prop Simple Sagittarius XIV SMK Hand Temperance 120 v Ay, 70 i1 Eye Simple Capricorn XV /\a, AYN Devil O,Ng 130 � P, Ph, 80 or n� Mouth Double Mars XVI (:'j) F 800 PH Tower (Final) 85 � Tz 90 or ..,� Fish Hoo� Simple Aquarius XVII (f) 900 TzDI Star (Final) 104 i' Q 100 1:11' Back of Simple Pisces XVIII QVP Head Moon 186 , R 200 f:.., Head Double Sun XIX RISh Sun 510 w Sh 300 r.v To oth Mother Fire XX ShiN (Spirit) Judgement 360 .n T 400 '1M Cross, Double Saturn XXI ThV Mark (Earth) Universe 404 THE INEFFABLE NAME OF GOD / 73 Table2.