Governing Women's Sexuality in Sex and the City: Pleasure, Relationships and Reproduction By Joy Kohli, B.A. Hon. A thesis submitted to The Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts Department of Law Carleton University Ottawa, Ontario August 11,2008 © 2008, Joy Kohli Library and Bibliotheque et 1*1 Archives Canada Archives Canada Published Heritage Direction du Branch Patrimoine de I'edition 395 Wellington Street 395, rue Wellington Ottawa ON K1A0N4 Ottawa ON K1A0N4 Canada Canada Your file Votre reference ISBN: 978-0-494-43469-7 Our file Notre reference ISBN: 978-0-494-43469-7 NOTICE: AVIS: The author has granted a non­ L'auteur a accorde une licence non exclusive exclusive license allowing Library permettant a la Bibliotheque et Archives and Archives Canada to reproduce, Canada de reproduire, publier, archiver, publish, archive, preserve, conserve, sauvegarder, conserver, transmettre au public communicate to the public by par telecommunication ou par Plntemet, prefer, telecommunication or on the Internet, distribuer et vendre des theses partout dans loan, distribute and sell theses le monde, a des fins commerciales ou autres, worldwide, for commercial or non­ sur support microforme, papier, electronique commercial purposes, in microform, et/ou autres formats. paper, electronic and/or any other formats. The author retains copyright L'auteur conserve la propriete du droit d'auteur ownership and moral rights in et des droits moraux qui protege cette these. this thesis. Neither the thesis Ni la these ni des extraits substantiels de nor substantial extracts from it celle-ci ne doivent etre imprimes ou autrement may be printed or otherwise reproduits sans son autorisation. reproduced without the author's permission. In compliance with the Canadian Conformement a la loi canadienne Privacy Act some supporting sur la protection de la vie privee, forms may have been removed quelques formulaires secondaires from this thesis. ont ete enleves de cette these. While these forms may be included Bien que ces formulaires in the document page count, aient inclus dans la pagination, their removal does not represent il n'y aura aucun contenu manquant. any loss of content from the thesis. Canada Abstract This thesis investigates the governance of women's sexuality in Sex and the City. It examines the negotiation of women's sexualized identities by examining sexual pleasure, relationships and reproduction. The friendship network is represented as the most important mechanism through which women's sexuality is regulated. The friendship network often replaces formal expertise and serves as a form of self-help. Women's sexual identities are formed through being self-reflective individuals by continuously creating their personal biographies. This thesis examines the processes and techniques the characters use in making decisions about the plurality of lifestyle choices available to them. ii Acknowledgements First, I would like to thank my supervisor Professor Sheryl Hamilton for the constant support, invaluable advice, encouragement and insight she has provided throughout this process. This thesis would not have been possible without her. I would like to thank the rest of my defence committee: Professor Diana Young, Professor Priscilla Walton and Professor Christiane Wilke. I am also grateful for the funding provided by the Department of Law and the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research. I would like to express my gratitude to all of the professors who have helped and inspired me along the way. I would especially like to thank Professor Aaron Doyle for sparking my interest in academia and helping me grow as a student. I would also like to thank Professor Vincent Kazmierski for persistently encouraging me to come back and finish this project. I also could not have completed this thesis without the support of my close friends who I can always count on. Specifically, I want to thank Pascal Lussier for spending countless hours in coffee shops with me this summer while I worked on this project and Samantha Seabrook for always making the time to listen. Most importantly I would like to thank my parents for their unwavering support: Mom, for your patience, understanding and hard work which has not gone unnoticed and Dad for always believing in me and teaching me that my dreams are within my reach. iii Table of Contents Introduction 1 Literature Review 5 Sex and the City Literature 6 Cultural Studies of Law 9 Television Studies 13 Theoretical Framework 14 Methodology 21 Chapter 1: The Quest for Women's Pleasure: Negotiating Sexual Agency and Women's Sexual Identity 25 Identity Formation, Expertise and Attaining Sexual Satisfaction 26 The De-Medicalization and Normalization of Self-Pleasure: Developing an Expertise of the Self. 38 Playing with Taboos: Sexual Decision-Making Practices 44 Promiscuity: Risk-Management Practices 50 Conclusion 55 Chapter 2: Finding 'The One': Negotiating Relationships and the Project of the Self. 57 Single and Fabulous!: Accepting the Single Lifestyle as the Project of the Self. 58 Soul Mates: An Impossible Ideal? Re-negotiating the Rules Surrounding 'The One' 66 Happily Ever After: Resolutions Regarding Finding 'The One' 75 Conclusion 90 Chapter 3: Reproduction: Creating, Resisting and Negotiating Motherhood 93 De-Naturalizing Reproduction and Reproductive Challenges: The Medical Legal Management of Motherhood 94 Consuming Motherhood and Identity 102 Resisting the Ideal Mother 105 The Role of the Friendship Network 114 Life Without Children 116 Conclusion 119 Conclusion 121 Bibliography 126 Appendix: Episode Selection 132 iv Introduction The women who wrote that book [The Rules], they wrote it because they couldn't get laid, so they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad. - Samantha Jones (1/6: Secret Sex) Sex and the City is a television show about four female friends who share their experiences of dating in New York City. Carrie Bradshaw is a journalist who writes a weekly column "Sex and the City" for the New York Star. She reflects on women's roles in the context of sexual affairs in the 'big city'. Her inspiration stems from her personal experience and that of her friends. Miranda Hobbes is a headstrong lawyer who is cynical about relationships and men. Charlotte York is a hopeless romantic that works for an art gallery and is the most traditional in the group. Samantha Jones is a public relations executive and the most liberal in her sexuality. Sex and the City explicitly discusses norms surrounding women's sexuality and sexual identity. Each woman represents a different perspective about women's sexual identity on a spectrum ranging from progressive to traditional. This eclectic mix of characters is what makes the show's approach to sexuality diverse, and in turn, allows an examination about negotiating what the current norms of women's sexuality are in relation to past perceptions of norms of sexualized identity. Is it appropriate to have sex on the first date? This is the big question of the night when Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha are having drinks at Carrie's apartment as she prepares for her first date with Mr. Big. Mr. Big is Carrie's main love interest throughout the series. They are discussing whether or not Carrie should have sex with him right away. Charlotte gives her advice based on the popular best seller, The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. She believes it is best to wait to have sex if Carrie is looking for something substantial with Mr. Big. She believes that if a 2 relationship begins with sex, it will be nothing more than just sex. Miranda states that true romance cannot exist without good sex. Samantha mocks The Rules, believes that men can dump women after the first date as easily as after ten, and leaves the final decision up to Carrie. "Secret Sex" is a significant episode because it provides an example of how women's sexuality is regulated. Furthermore it engages in discussion about relationships. Analyzing this episode reveals that the friendship network is the main site where norms about women's sexuality are discussed and renegotiated. When examining this scene one can tease out the different opinions that exist when all of the characters engage with self-help literature. It becomes evident that instead of taking the advice of experts, they instead discuss whether or not such norms continue to apply in today's society. Furthermore, being a part of a relationship involves the self-reflexive individual to constantly evaluate themselves, their role and the role of their partner within the relationship. In today's society individuals stay in relationships, as long as their needs are met. Following the advice in "The Rules" is supposed help women capture a man to marry. This is thought to eventually lead to the possibility of having children. In this episode, Carrie goes against "The Rules" and sleeps with Mr. Big on their first date. Carrie, in her voiceover, states that she cannot be hounded by rules. Despite the bold statement of throwing the rules out the window, the rest of the episode explores Carrie's insecurity about her decision. Norms in Sex and the City are reworked and renegotiated through the personal experiences of its characters. Even when breaking the rules, or challenging norms, the characters cannot escape current forms of the sexual regulation of women. 3 When Mr. Big asks Carrie to go out for dinner after sex, she begins to contemplate his intentions. The next day she talks over her doubts with Miranda. She confesses to her friend that she had sex with Mr. Big on the first date. Miranda supports her decision and asserts her approval of breaking the rules if it felt right. Later that day Big calls Carrie and suggests going out on a real first date.