ISSUE 1638 FRIDAY 10th JUNE 2016 The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London Memes, dreams and Imperial is ugly and it horoscopes makes me sad PAGE 31 HANGMAN PAGE 8 COMMENT Our sabbs will now be CGCU uses dog therapy paid £29,800 a year to combat exam stress • Their pay now matches the average Imperial graduate's wage • They will be the highest-paid sabbs in the UK but may actually be worse off his year’s change in sabb take home as much as current sabbs Grace Rahman pay, despite looking like do, they’d have to spend just £110 Editor-in-Chief a £10,000 pay rise on per week on rent. Compare this paper, may actually leave to the fact that sabbs this year are is beneficial for both them and the sabbs worse off financially than ever. getting as much as £210 per week students they live with for sabbatical TIn an investigation by FELIX, spent on their rent as part of their officers to live in halls, as it enhances comparing this year’s cohort remuneration, this year’s sabbs are student experience. pay packet and remuneration undoubtedly getting a better deal. This was all decided at a Trustee arrangements (i.e. offer of ‘free’ halls Our full investigation feature can be Board meeting in January by that goes with the job) to next year’s, read on page nine. the then Managing Director, lay it was found that although our sabbs The decision was taken so sabbs trustees and several observers, with will now be the highest paid in the who choose to live in private no students representatives present country, the offer of halls has been accommodation wouldn’t get a for the actual decision. The officer revoked, meaning they will probably worse deal than those who those trustees, including sabbs and current take home less than this year’s after who choose to live in halls, as their student trustees could contribute to paying rent. housing allowance is taxed and the discussion but were asked to As the pay packet currently worth much less than what those leave the room when the decision includes either a room in halls or in halls get. Controversially, this has was made presumably to avoid any a rent contribution of 75% of the completely removed the incentive potential conflicts of interest. average spend on the sabbs in halls, for sabbs to live in halls. Up until This year’s elections... plus £20,160, for next year’s sabbs to now the consensus has been that it continued on page 4 Read more on page three. Photo Credit: CGCU th PAGE 2 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 10 JUNE 2016 felixonline.co.uk [email protected] Contents A word from the Editor News 3 Editor-in-Chief Grace Rahman talked a lot about how much place to live is about the hardest Comment 6 the sabbs get paid this week, part of living and working in News Editor Matt Johnston Features 9 and to think, it’s probably London, and getting that as part of never crossed your mind. the deal was certainly a big part of Comment Editors Science 10 That’s fair – I don’t ask how much my decision to take a year out of my Tessa Davey and Vivien Hadlow you earn. Our feature on the life and make a paper for you cuties. I Science Editors Manifestos 14 changes to sabb pay isn’t brand new People complain that becoming a Jane Courtnell and Lef Apostolakis information, but this is the first time sabb is a cool job to slip into if you Film 18 any student, outside of the closed haven’t found a real job yet. I think Arts Editors doors of Trustee Board (literally if you’re rich and haven’t found a job Indira Mallik, Jingjie Cheng and Max Falkenberg Arts 21 this time – they chucked out all the yet, becoming a sabb is now a lot sabbs when the decision got made) easier. If you hate students so much Music and Games Editor TV 25 will have seen a breakdown of the that you don’t want to live in halls, Cale Tilford difference in payment between this you probably shouldn’t be a sabb. Film Editor Games 27 year’s sabb team and next year’s. I think this change is a shame, Fred Fyles And yes, I do think that’s important. because it looks like we’ve given Puzzles 28 We fork out a lot of cash for sabbs, sabbs a wacking great pay rise, when Puzzles Editors and we want them to be good. potentially, this new deal means that Hamish Beck and Roxana Radu Hangman 31 We want to pay them enough so a home isn’t part of the job. It’s like know I’ll have done my job well, Food Editor that they can eat, be housed, have being a vicar. Fucking hell, being when I go into the 568 one day, and Sanjay Bhattacharya Food 32 nice enough lives, and for it to be a vicar (I assume) is hard. People one of the bar staff (and not one of interesting enough financially that confessing weird intimate details the ones who knows me already) Clubs & Societies Editor Abi de Bruin the job appeals to everyone. It’s the about their lives to you and not in goes: “Hey, it’s Grace!” and then same argument that gets brought a cool down-the-pub way, having everyone at the bar cheers, and then TV Editor FELIX, Beit Quad, up when we discuss MPs’ pay. If we to go to church all the time, plus the barman makes my usual (they Saad Ahmed Prince Consort Road, paid them pittance then the role you don’t even get Christmas off. know my order already, because London SW7 2BB Technical Babe would only attract the richest, who But you do get to live in a vicarage. everybody does) and slides it down Tel: 020 7594 8072 Luke Granger-Brown Printed by Iliffee Print Cambridge, were able to take a hit. The same, I Well Beit is my vicarage, you are all the bar to me (there aren’t those Copy Editors Winship Road, Cambridge feel, goes for sabbs. If we dock the my parishioners and the journalistic mats on the bar in this fantasy) and benefits to such a point, it could integrity is my Jesus. I catch it and swig it, before winking Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi and Ahmed Registered Newspaper Ibrahim ISSN 1040-0711 put the best, and not the wealthiest Does it matter what we pay them at the camera. That’s when I’ll know Copyright © FELIX 2016 people off. Finding an affordable as long as they do the job well? I I’ve earnt my £19,000. COMINGThe FELIX NEXT Sex Survey Results WEEK felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 10th JUNE 2016 PAGE 3 NEWS [email protected] Mech Eng head tells students he’s voting remain Professor Peter Crawley emailed all mech eng students and staff telling them life would be harder after Brexit Grace Rahman As Crawley stated in his email, “We also benefit from being able Editor-in-Chief it is unlikely that these students to recruit research and academic would be retroactively deemed staff from EU countries without international, and be forced to start work permit issues. We succeed n Sunday, the head paying £26,000 halfway through by being open, and anything that of the department of their degrees. However, he reassured increases barriers is detrimental. mechanical engineering EU students college wouldn’t just I am also concerned that many of sent an email to all of start charging them more without the companies with whom we work his students and staff, addressing a fight, saying “we will do all in will scale back their UK activities Oconcerns about a post-Brexit fee our legal power to ensure that and relocate to the continent to be status for EU students, and telling current students are not subject to a within the single market. It is much them that he was “strongly in favour easier to work with companies when of remaining in the EU” and so they are located closer to us.” would be “voting accordingly”. In the email, This comes after Alice Gast, In the email, Professor Crawley This is not the head of mech eng. Photo Credit: ICL the Imperial President, sent an said that several EU students had email out to all students and staff expressed concern that if Britain he said that dramatic increase in fees”. of how we will be voting in the saying how college could not tell were to vote to leave the EU in this If Britain were to leave, fewer EU referendum. He said a leave vote its students how to vote, but that month’s referendum, they would be several EU students are likely to come to British would spell bad news for funding Imperial had been involved with the forced to start paying international universities, and those that do would research, the companies that mech remain campaign. fees of £26,000 a year, as opposed to probably have to pay the higher fees. eng works with, enlisting students Staff in the RSM took a different the £9000 they currently pay. students had This would mean there would be no from the EU, and that therefore he view, forwarding an email out to all As with everything in the financial cost to Imperial in terms would be voting “accordingly”.