University of Calgary PRISM: University of Calgary's Digital Repository Graduate Studies The Vault: Electronic Theses and Dissertations 2019-04-29 Apple Sauce & Academia: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Student-Mothers' Experiences in Graduate School Fix, Jane Allison Fix, J. A. (2019). Apple Sauce & Academia: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Student-Mothers' Experiences in Graduate School (Unpublished master's thesis). University of Calgary, Calgary, AB. http://hdl.handle.net/1880/110257 master thesis University of Calgary graduate students retain copyright ownership and moral rights for their thesis. You may use this material in any way that is permitted by the Copyright Act or through licensing that has been assigned to the document. For uses that are not allowable under copyright legislation or licensing, you are required to seek permission. Downloaded from PRISM: https://prism.ucalgary.ca UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY Apple Sauce & Academia: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Student-Mothers' Experiences in Graduate School by Jane Allison Fix A THESIS SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES IN PARTIAL FULFILMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF SCIENCE GRADUATE PROGRAM IN EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY CALGARY, ALBERTA APRIL, 2019 © Jane Allison Fix 2019 Abstract Despite extensive research on the impacts of stress on the traditional student body in higher education, the presence of mothers in graduate school and their unique experiences and contributions have all but gone unnoticed. Specifically, the emotional and physical impacts of gendered role integration in graduate school remain largely unknown. In this study, I explore the lived experience of six Canadian graduate student-mothers. All of the participants were married, residing with the biological father of their children, and were between the ages of 30 and 41 years during their time in graduate school. Using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) as a guide, semi-structured interviews were conducted to obtain a deeper understanding of the student- mothers’ multiple-role experiences. Five over-arching themes emerged (a) power of values, (b) socio-ecological system, (c) experience of role integration, (d) coping strategies, and (e) reflections of meaning. A better understanding of the experience of graduate student-mothers can help inform treatment protocols for medical and mental health professionals, provide recommendations to current and prospective students, as well as foster compassion and systemic change within the academe. Keywords: mother, graduate school, role integration, values, coping ii Acknowledgements I want to acknowledge the tremendous impact that doing this study has had on me. I struggled against a strong current to get to where I am now, both personally and academically. However, in immersing myself with other student-mothers and their stories I have felt my own guilt loosen its grip upon me. I feel empowered and less alone in choosing a difficult yet remarkably rewarding path. I would like to first thank my thesis supervisor, Dr. Sharon Cairns at the Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary, for her encouragement, support, and unshaken belief in me and my ability to finish this project. Thank you for sharing not only your knowledge and experience, but also your compassion and amity. You helped me accomplish a manuscript that I can be proud of, and that other mothers and parents can look towards to feel less alone in this often-isolating process. In addition to Dr. Sharon Cairns, I would like to thank the rest of my examining committee members, Dr. Anusha Kassan and Ann Laverty, for giving their valuable time in reading and reviewing my thesis and helping to make it the best that it can be. I truly enjoyed our exchanges within the defence and the further insights that it brought to light. I would also like to thank my participants. Without their courageous and impassioned participation, this thesis would not have come to fruition. They truly helped me on my own path of discovery and selF-compassion, and I am so proud of their accomplishments as mothers and as students. To my graduate cohort and now forever friends, thank you for making my graduate experience so special. I do not believe everyone is as fortunate as we are to be so connected and supported by each other. We bore witness to each other’s successes and challenges; profound changes and growth, and I could not be more grateful for the honour of knowing all of you. Thank iii you to those who helped with last minute edits and emotional support Judy Dang, Laura Blaikie, Melody Kaiser (my cherished thesis buddy and AirBnB roommate), Michelle McCowan, Franziska Kintzel, Jezzamyn Stone, and Terri Prosser. I absolutely could not have done this without you. To my family, who from the moment I began university to this very day, have been a part of my journey. To my sister, Margaret Fleetwood; you always believed I could do it and you gave me the last key I needed to make it happen – thank you, sis. To my mom, Ann Burns, and Dad, Gerry Fleetwood; I may have had a slow start, but thank you so much for your support and pride in my accomplishments no matter how long they took. To my mother and father-in law, thank you for your support and all the times you came to help me get through my many academic demands. To my husband, Richard Fix; thank you for your enduring love and support on this long but amazing path of ours; this is just the beginning. To Paige and Nathan Fix, you were the inspiration for this paper and will continue to be my inspiration to be the best version of myself that I can be. Your curiosity, encouragement, and understanding are a huge part of my success as a student and I am so honoured and proud to be your mom. iv Dedication To my dearest two children, Paige and Nathan. You always have and always will be part of my journey. I love you. Love, Mom v Table of Contents Abstract ............................................................................................................................................... ii Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................................... iii Dedication ........................................................................................................................................... v Table of Contents ............................................................................................................................... vi List of Tables ...................................................................................................................................... x List of Figures .................................................................................................................................... xi Epigraph ............................................................................................................................................ xii CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................ 1 Literature Review Summary ........................................................................................................... 2 Rational and Significance ............................................................................................................... 3 Personal Perspective ................................................................................................................... 3 Research Perspective .................................................................................................................. 5 Overview of Methodology .............................................................................................................. 6 Organization of the Thesis .............................................................................................................. 7 CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW ..................................................................................... 8 Part I: Women’s Role in History .................................................................................................... 8 Considering Motherhood .......................................................................................................... 11 Motherhood instinct. ............................................................................................................. 12 Developmental model of motherhood. ................................................................................. 12 Childcare strategies. .............................................................................................................. 15 Mothers’ guilt and shame. .................................................................................................... 17 Mothers in the Workforce ......................................................................................................... 18 Section Summary ...................................................................................................................... 22 Part II: The Dream of Higher Education ...................................................................................... 22 Motivation ................................................................................................................................ 23 Demographics ........................................................................................................................... 23 Performance