STRICTLY BALLROOM THE MUSICAL BOOK BY BAZ LUHRMANN & CRAIG PEARCE ADAPTED BY TERRY JOHNSON LONDON REHEARSAL SCRIPT MARCH 26TH 2017 Sample. Do not Copy. ACT ONE BARRY V/O Ladies and Gentlemen the National Australian Federation of Dance, NAFOD strictly prohibits the use of cameras and recording devices. These dancers are caked in lead based makeup and highly flammable hairspray. One tiny flash from the camera could cause a terrible explosion. And remember folks – keep things strictly ballroom. The red curtain rises to reveal... EMPTY, DARK STAGE. Music and spotlight up on: a tail-suited Scott spinning on the spot, centre stage in a waltz-like spin... We hear a disembodied, omnipotent voice... NARRATOR A long, long, time ago - in a land far, far away (Australia), there lived a prince of the Ballroom World: number 100, Scott Hastings... Since he was six, Scott’d trained his bloody guts out, and from his ballroom palace, at 12 Wollombimbi Crescent, Scott and his Ballroom mum, Shirley... (spotlight up on Shirley spinning alone) ...sallied forth in search of glory. And under the eagle-eyed tutelage of Les Kendall, who'd coached Scott since he was a little tacker... (Les now spins with Shirley) And with his long-time partner, Liz Holt... (Scott is joined by Liz they spin together) Scott won so many trophies, pennants and medals that dad, Doug...who sadly didin't dance (spotlight up on Doug just standing there) ...had to move the sofa out of the living room to accommodate the trophy cabinet. (as the narration continues we find other Sample.couples spinning)Do not Copy. Of course there many princes and princesses of the ballroom world - but only one could be king and queen.... (fake-tanned Ken Railings and Pam Short take focus and ostentatiously receive the imagined accolades of the crowd) (MORE) 2. NARRATOR (CONT'D) For Scott to become King, there was one title he had to win - the holy grail of Ballroom dancing, a title that crushed dreams and made legends: The Open Amateur, 5 Dance, Latin American, Pan Pacifics Grand Prix! And everyone agreed, it was Scott’s year! An outraged Liz yells in a nasal Aussie accent. LIZ And mine! NARRATOR And Liz’s. Scott and Liz sing as they dance... SCOTT SEE THE ANGLE OF MY ARM LIZ THE TILT OF MY CHIN SCOTT/LIZ THE BLISTERING PRECISION OF OUR TELEMARK AND WING CHASSE, PROMENADE DOUBLE REVERSE SPIN ALL IT'S STRICTLY BALLROOM HERE COMES THE DRAG HESITATION THE FALLAWAY WHISK THE TEARS, SWEAT AND BLEEDING'S BEEN LEADING TO THIS PERFECTION! NIRVANA! SCOTT/LIZ WE’RE OWNING THIS SHIT ALL IT'S STRICTLY BALLROOM All the couples now sing and dance ALL SING (INCLUDING KENDALLS) WHEN YOU'RE STRICTLY BALLROOM LIFE IS PERFECT ALL THE TIME OBEY THESample. REGULATIONS AND YOU'LL Do CLIMB not Copy. PRAISE THE FEDERATION OUR SALAVATION'S GUARANTEED STRICTLY BALLROOM IS ALL YOU NEED. Big finish with Scott and Liz now the centre of all our attention! 3. Federation banners and other set flies in to create the Waratah Festival. As the applause fades... JJ SILVERS Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Woongabbie Town Hall for the 1985 Waratah, Inter-Regional ballroom dance Championships, the first step on the road to glory, the Pan Pacifics Grand Prix. I’m your host for this evening JJ Silvers.Do you like my jacket? Just something i picked up at a yard sale. I'm excited to announce, that the great man himself is adjudicating tonight- our benevolent and beloved, Federation President Barry Fife! Barry, gives a presidential wave to the crowd. JJ SILVERS (CONT’D) Who's eagerly awaited, latest video, Dance to Win, 8 - is on sale here tonight; don’t forget to snaffle a copy or two! (a sexy purr) (Samba starts) Ok. Lets get this competition started. Get ready to cheer for your favourite couple, as we go south of the border for the Samba! JJ SILVERS Take your places please for the Open Latin Final MUSIC: SAMBA INTO ALL OUT WAR The stage explodes into dazzling spectacle as Ballroom costumes are shed to reveal lurid lurex and shimmering sequins! Couples prance and sashay across the floor in a Samba. Scott and Liz and Wayne and Vanessa are among the competing couples. Shirley, Les and the Sample. Doother Kendall'snot Copy. studio members cheer them on. Doug films with his ancient Super 8 camera. JJ SILVERS (CONT’D) Lets hear it for our reigning champions Ken Railings and Pam Short 4. It's an El Alamein Fountain. Ken's always been a wonderful ambassador for ballroom dancing. JJ SILVERS Couple number 100 are giving them a run for their money A Peacock twirl! Classic Fife. Scott and Liz are out dancing tragically waning Ballroom Stars Ken Railings and Pam Short by a mile. Scott and Liz dance another spectacular variation. Fran, Shirley, Les, Kylie, Luke and others cheer excitedly. KENDALLS C'mon number 100! SCOTT GIDDAY, KEN PAM/KEN LET US PASS! LIZ PISS OFF PAM KEN MOVE YOUR ARSE! ALL THIS ISN’T DANCE THIS IS WAR! HEAR THE ROARING OF THE CROWD TURN THE MUSIC WAY UP LOUD KEN/PAM WE’RE THE KING AND QUEEN A BALLROOMSample. DREAM Do not Copy. ALL THROUGH THE TEARS AND SWEAT WE’RE READY AS WE’LL EVER GET SCOTT/LIZ WATCH AS WE BECOME CHAMPIONS 5. ALL NO ONE CAN TOUCH US WE SMILE FOR THE JUDGES SCORE BUT GET IN OUR WAY AND YOU’LL PAY FOR IT WITH BLOOD ON THE FLOOR COS ONE THING’S SURE THIS ISN’T DANCE THIS IS ALL-OUT WAR IT’S ALL-OUT WAR OUT ON THE FLOOR WE DON’T TAKE PRISONERS THAT’S FOR SURE WE’D MURDER FOR THE JUDGES SCORE IT’S ALL-OUT WAR IT’S ALL-OUT WAR TEQUILA! SHIRLEY I’M SHIRLEY HASTINGS I’M SCOTT’S MUM I’M PROUD AS PUNCH TO SEE MY SON AND LIZ PERFORM LES WE’RE IN BLISTERING FORM! SHIRLEY LIZ AND SCOTT WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER LES I’M LES KENDALL SHIRLEY I’M SCOTT’S MOTHER JJ SILVER AND WHO'S THIS, LOVE? SHIRLEY MY HUSBAND DOUG. LES/SHIRLEY THE DREAMS AND HOPES OF ALL OF KENDALL’S STUDIO ARE RIDING ON THIS NIGHT KYLIE/LUKE COME ONSample. COUPLE ONE HUNDRED Do not Copy. LES/SHIRLEY SCOTT IS THE ANOINTED ONE OUR CHAMPION THE KEEPER OF THE LIGHT 6. SHIRLEY SO HE’D BETTER BLOODY FIGHT! ALL COS THIS ISN’T SOME KIND OF METAPHOR IT’S ALL OUT WAR IT’S ALL OUT WAR TEQUILA OH MY GOD! WHAT A SHOCK! SCOTT HASTINGS AND LIZ HAVE BEEN BOXED IN, OR BLOCKED Girls HE'S BOXED IN BOYS THEY'RE BLOCKED SCOTT GET OUT OF THE WAY, MATE LIZ PISS OFF! LET US PASS! KEN SORRY SWEETIE, WE NEED ALL THE ROOM LIZ MOVE YOUR BLOODY ARSE! KEN I’M GONNA NEED ALL THIS SPACE HERE TO CHA CHA PAM I’VE GOT A REAL WIDE CUCARACHA LIZ DO SOMETHING SCOTT WE CAN’T JUST STAY BLOCKED! SCOTT I’VE GOT AN IDEA THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE FOLLOW ME, LIZ AND DO Sample.AS I DANCE Do not Copy. As Scott dances his improvised steps, DOUG FILMS INTENSELY with his Super 8 camera. Kylie and Luke excitedly cheer. KYLIE/LUKE YES!!! 7. KYLIE Go Scott! LUKE Unreal! Kylie and Luke excitedly start to copy Scott’s steps. SHIRLEY (to Kylie and Luke) Stop that you two! ALL JESUS CHRIST IS HE OUT OF HIS MIND HE JUST IMPROVISED SCOTT I IMPROVISED ALL HE IMPROVISED SCOTT I IMPROVISED ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF BARRY FIFE HAIL THE PRESIDENT, BARRY FIFE OUR BENEVOLENT PRESIDENT BARRY FIFE I’M FEDERATION PRESIDENT FIFE THE KEEPER OF KEYS COLLECTOR OF FEES THE RULER OF RULES THE GIVER OF LIFE IMPROVISATION’S A GRAVE AND A HEINOUS SIN (IT’S A SIN IT’S A TERRIBLE SIN) (IT’S A HORRIBLE TERRIBLE SIN) YOU CAN DANCE ANY STEPS THAT YOU LIKE BUT YOU’RESample. NOT GONNA WIN Do not Copy. ALL NOT GONNA WIN 8. ALL THIS ISN’T DANCE THIS IS ALL-OUT WAR! THIS ISN'T DANCE THIS ISN'T DANCE THIS IS ALL OUT WAR IT'S ALL OUT WAR IT'S ALL OUT, ALL OUT BARRY What a wonderful evening. As you know; the Federation salutes all levels of ability and aspiration. However on this occasion we have to draw the line. So I have to announce that during the Samba, competitors, Scott Hastings and Elizabeth Holt...Were sadly disqualified. SHIRLEY Oh Les did I do something wrong? Did I fail him as a mother? LIZ I'm never dancing with you again BARRY Envelope.... And so the winners of the Waratah Regional Championships are, Ken Railings and Pam Short Musical Sting. All-conquering Ken receives the trophy... JJ SILVERS (CONT’D) Ken and Pam are “Southern Star inter regional New Vogue title holders... (JJ is fading out) “Tulip time Central districts, city and country inaugural... Fran, a pimple-faced, fuzzy-haired beginner who dances without a partner steps forward and addresses the audience. FRAN (TO THE AUDIENCE) Oh,Sample. who me JJ? Hi, I’m Do Fran - notI’ve only Copy. been dancing for 2 years so I haven’t got a partner yet - but I thought what Scott and Liz danced was wonderful. I thought they should have... Scott turns to a devastated Liz. SCOTT Liz I... 9. LIZ Shut up! I meant it, alright. I’m not dancing with you until you dance like you’re supposed to! As Liz storms off..