55 – DAVID and ABSALOM 2 Samuel 8-24; 1 Chronicles 3; 11; 18-21; 24; Psalms 3 April 13 This entry begins with lots of battles and David’s men defeating the enemy. However, even when there are so many victories occurring on the battle field, there is nothing sadder for a God-fearing father than to see his children go off the rails spiritually, or, even worse, to have a totally rebellious son. The tale of Absalom’s rebellion provides an insight into the political intrigue of David’s time and a further insight into the humble heart of an extraordinary king, not to mention a Parenting Lesson for us all – you will reap what you sow! David’s sons sinned as a result of his own transgression. (Remember the prophecy from Nathan?) As mentioned before, Gene Edwards’ Christian classic, A Tale of Three Kings, is a riveting account of how we should behave when we are under an unrighteous leader, like a Saul, or when we are a leader threatened by an Absalom – HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READING! This book has kept me from sinning more than once!! LOOK OUT FOR lots of PARENTING INSIGHTS and LEADERSHIP LESSONS as you read this entry! (four days of reading) These are great examples of bravery and honour, courage and sacrifice. The Thirty Mighty Men and their exploits are told in this section of scripture, and these stories are very inspiring. The chronological bible jumps all over the place here (if you have a question about how this works, write Mr. F. La Gard Smith himself – don’t ask me!!), going from 2 Sam 12/1 Chron 20 to 2 Sam 8/1 Chron 18 to 2 Sam 23/1 Chron 11 to describe this period of wars. I won’t comment on much here because just reading the history itself is exciting. One sad but noteworthy comment – Uriah the Hittite, the man who was betrayed and murdered by David, was actually one of the 30 mighty men, which makes the whole episode even uglier. Yuk! Jump back to the end of 2 Samuel 12 for the birth of Solomon, who was born to Bathsheba to comfort her after the death of her other son. What an example of grace! Nathan the prophet delivered good news this time – he told the royal couple that the Lord loved this boy and asked that they give him the nick-name, “Jedidiah”, meaning “loved by the Lord”. Wow! What an incredible God we serve!! Talk about not holding grudges! No wonder God expects us to forgive. On to the sad bit…go to 2 Samuel 13-20 for the story of Absalom. 2 SAMUEL 13-16:14 It all started when one of David’s sons, Amnon, FELL IN LUST with his half-sister, Tamar, and devised a plot to have sex with her. She was David’s child, just like Amnon, but from a different mother, and was the full sister of Absalom. (It is thought that Absalom and Tamar were the most handsome/beautiful children of King David.) Now here is a prince, who can have anyone he wants, lusting after his own sister! The Law of Moses had already outlawed incest and the penalty for sexual relations between siblings was being totally cut off from Israel. Leviticus makes it clear that no one should have sexual relations with a close relative, and specifically mentions with a sister, “either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.” (Leviticus 18:6, 9; 20:17) Perhaps the catalyst for Amnon’s abomination was the combination of David having multiple wives, which would surely have caused rivalry and jealousy as it often does in today’s blended families, plus the fact that David hadn’t kept a lid on his own lust, combined with the fact that he probably hadn’t spent much time teaching his children the Law, even though he loved it himself, nor had he helped them to chose wise friends, since Amnon’s no-good cousin, Jonadab, helped to spur him on to his sin in the first place. At any rate, Amnon followed his wicked advisor’s counsel and tricked his sister into being with him alone, where he overpowered her and raped her. Once the deed was done, Amnon felt repulsed by Tamar and had his servants throw her out of the house! This is not unusual in such cases, one of the reasons being that when we finally get the unlawful thing that we have lusted and pined over, it is usually not half as “wonderful” as we thought it would be, and then we hate the object of our desire, and/or ourselves! Now, look at David’s ineptitude at parenting: 2 Samuel 13:21 says, “When King David heard all this, he was furious.” What comes next? “So he disciplined him in front of all Israel.” Or “So he banished him from the kingdom.” Or even, “So he made Amnon marry his half-sister.” NO, the bible doesn’t say any of those things. It just says that David was furious, and THAT IS ALL THAT IT SAYS!!! Great – he was furious – and he should have been – but what did he DO about it??!! NOTHING!! This is one of the frustrations of being a parent – if we over-react, we risk alienating our children, even when they are in the wrong. However, if we under-react, we are not training them in the way they should go. That is why the way of love is the best way- we speak the truth in love, amen!!!!!!!! And when we make a mistake, we acknowledge it and move on. But we don’t do “NOTHING”!! (Sorry about the double negative.) How do we know that David did “nothing”? Because two years later, Amnon was still living as if “nothing” had happened, and Absalom still felt hungry for justice and revenge. If David had dealt with Amnon after the event, Absalom wouldn’t have needed to get justice himself! However, because it had never been dealt with, killing Amnon had been Absalom’s goal since his sister was raped (v 32). Then David goofed up again after Absalom murdered his brother. David had a forgiving heart, and perhaps he didn’t feel so angry toward Absalom because he knew it was his fault. However, instead of letting Absalom know that all was forgiven, he banished him. The bible doesn’t reveal David’s motive, but I can’t help thinking it was because the king was trying to “look strong”, and avoid “appearing weak”. This is another trap we can fall into as parents: TRYING TO LOOK GOOD AS PARENTS instead of thinking about what is the godly thing to do or what is best for our children spiritually in a certain situation. I have fallen into this myself, and shouted at my kids in front of others, which only humiliated them and didn’t help their repentance at all. Rebuking and correction are part of parenting, but they are best done in private. When we do it David’s way, we risk alienating the child, and this, of course, is counter productive. In David’s case, it was even worse, because his son then attempted a coup. That may not happen in our family <smile> but it might – the son might make the mother to feel that the father is “so unfair” and gang up with the mother against the father, causing the father to feel that he is no longer “king” of his own castle… Read Teenproofing by John Rosemond for a fantastic book on dealing with teenagers in a way that prevents fights, and teaches responsibility and mutual respect. Now Absalom may not have been such a bad guy in the beginning - it is impossible to know – he at least cared for his sister. However, after he had nursed a grudge for two years, which developed into hatred, malice, murderous plotting and then actual first- degree murder and add to that that he then felt that he was treated unjustly by his father (since he probably viewed his sin as justifiable whereas Amnon’s was certainly not), he became a full-blown hard-hearted mass of justified bitterness and overweening arrogance! This is a dangerous place for any of us to get spiritually, and it usually happens when we feel we have been slighted, overlooked, or the victim in a case of injustice, where the perpetrator is “getting away with it”. The “bad guy” is usually a person or institution we have trusted, such as a boss, a close friend, a parent, a church leader, a whole church, the government. In Absalom’s case, he was bitter toward his father, and his father also happened to be the king, so he decided to usurp his father’s throne. By this time, he had probably justified himself by thinking that he was the smartest, most handsome and most popular of all the princes, so why shouldn’t he be the next king, and, after all, it was clear that his dad was getting too old to care about things, since he had let Amnon off so easily. Yes, it was time for Israel to have a truly wise and good king who would act for the people’s benefit, and he was just the man to do it. How true it is that there is nothing new under the sun…how often this has happened over and over on the planet…A son rebels against his father.