Your Look Up First Not Hot THE TUFTS DOOBIE Time CALL: (973) 461-9396 FOR A GOOD TIME ;) THURSDAY, octobeR 31, 2013 TUFTSDOOBIE.COM Tufts cancels all events ever Student leaks footage BY MENGHIS KHAN II CSL policy. Daily StruggleBus This Daily editor tried to track down the student-run Programming Board, In a dramatic move that frankly all which had previously expressed hopes students saw coming, Tufts announced and dreams for planning successful in the latest Strategic Digest Issue replacement events like this year’s Fall XXXII that all university events will be Gala. canceled indefinitely. A student reported that he had seen Major traditions include Spring the entire Programming Board aboard Fling, Winter Bash, Tuftstonia Day, the helicopter which this year was Cage Rage and Fall Gala. hired to take aerial shots of the Tufts “This is not because we believe campus. Tufts students too often abuse alcohol “After they were done taking pic- of upcoming film at these events,” Dean of Campus Life tures, they just flew off into the sun- Bruce Rightman said. “In fact, no Tufts set,” the student said, hypothesizing students ever attend university events that they had rage quit their jobs. under the influence of alcohol or act Megan Oh, a freshman majoring inappropriately. We simply decided to in Indecision, expressed disappoint- take Campus Life in a new direction.” ment that regular entertainers like Oh When asked what his new job will Megan! and The Hypnotist would no entail now that he will no longer spend longer be returning. his days writing emails or Daily op-eds “Those were the only reasons I came about appropriate student behavior at here, really,” she said. “I’ll probably events, Rightman declined to com- transfer next year.” ment. Only one department on campus The Richard E. Snyder President’s was happy with the new policy -- Tufts Lecture Series was also canceled after University Athletics. some time on the chopping block in “ T h e consideration of student protests this s c h o o l year. i s n ’ t “We didn’t want to just target dan- cancel- gerous social activities,” President i n g o u r Anthony Monaco said. “We wanted to p r o g r a m , eliminate ANYTHING that could cause s o I t h i n k controversy. This is to foster a spirit of t h i s i s YOUR MOM / THE TUFTS DAILY open dialogue, which the university g r e a t , ” Leaked footage, available online at Jumbo Beat cares deeply about.” B i l l y But an anonymous source from the J o e l BY CURIOUS thought the movie was about algebra. President’s Office confirmed that the s a i d . “ I Voyeurism Committee Isn’t it called ‘Basic Math?’” move to cancel of all events has been t h i n k Librarian Sophia Leggere, howev- in the works ever since Monaco suc- in the In an interesting turn of events, the er, believes the stacks were the per- cessfully ousted Larry Bacow from a b s e n c e plot of the movie filmed on campus, fect location for the shooting the sex campus in 2011. of any “Sex Tape,” has become a reality. scene. “I’m surprised students didn’t catch o t h e r Tufts student Tom Peeper was “This is just another normal day in on earlier,” the source said. “NQR, mean- charged last Friday with leaking ille- the basement stacks, she said. “I catch Tuftstonia Day, Fall Ball they’ve been i n g f u l gally recorded footage from the movie’s students down there all the time.” dropping like flies. We only brought activ- sex scene -- featuring performances by Peeper’s leaked footage has caused back the fireworks this year because, ity on Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel -- onto some of the movie’s producers to well, we had the money, thanks to the c a m p u s , the Internet. become concerned about the film’s always reliable tuition increase.” t u r n o u t “Once I heard the filming schedule, success, Weiner said. When asked what the administra- m i g h t I camped out all night hoping to catch “That scene was the best part of the tion’s end game was, the anonymous a c t u a l l y a glimpse of Cameron and Jason in movie,” he said. “Now I have no idea source incoherently referenced the i m p r o v e . action,” Peeper said. “I was not disap- how we’re going to make money.” pointed.” The leaked footage has also inspired The scene was filmed in the stacks students to make spoofs of the video of Tisch Library in the early morning in various campus locations, the in order to avoid student interference; Director of Health Service Madame however, filming crews clearly under- Pomfrey said. Students’ re-creations of estimated the stalking abilities of Tufts the sex scene are trending all over the students, according to the Director internet. Anthony Weiner. “It’s a real health concern,” she said. “We were prepared for students to “They’re on the President’s lawn, by want photos and autographs, but we the cannon, the library roof, even on didn’t think they’d go this far,” he said. top of the Jumbo statue. Someone “We picked this place for the foliage could get hurt.” and the Adirondack chairs in front of University President Anthony Miller. We had no idea what we were Monaco assured the filmmakers that getting ourselves into.” Peeper will be severely punished for Diaz said she was horrified, though his actions. not surprised by the leak, noting that “ S p y i n g students basically filmed and photo- and covert- graphed every minute of their time on l y f i l m i n g the Hill. p e o p l e i s “Of all the fans in our filming places, a b s o l u t e l y Tufts was definitely the most aggres- prohibit- sive,” Diaz said. “Some students ed to stu- seemed to be following us all day. d e n t s , ” Don’t they have classes?” M o n a c o Segel, on the other hand, seemed s a i d . “ I f unconcerned. w e w a n t t o “To be honest, I don’t really mind,” f i l m p e o p l e Segel said. “After filming ‘Forgetting s e c r e t l y , Sarah Marshall’ I’m pretty used to w e ’ l l j u s t strutting my stuff on camera.” u s e t h e Many students are upset to learn h e l i c o p t e r that the explicit scene was filmed on again.” campus. CURTIS BASEMENT “Wait,” Conny Phused said. “I We can never go back... In yo face Today’s sex? Hot & Dangerous 1 Blow 3 Aaaaaaand Giving 0 f**ks Whatta Feelin 2 From the Back see SAW, page VI see D E F G, page H Pheature Dis 2 THE TUFTS DOOBIE HANNA H MONTANA Foam Finger TWERKTORIAL She’s Just Being Miley Bangerz Abigail Williams Executive Bruise Editor Dorian Gray Bruise Editors Victor Frankenstein Of Mine and Menghan Eminem Annabeauty & Beast Massachusetts CRYSTAL METH / MISCHIEF MANAGED Joshua Tree Sarah Marshall iSIS will be transitioned out as the study condudted by Psychology Department has ended early. Daniel Boy Assistant Bruise Editors Alex Horowitch Denali Alaska iSIS psychology study terminates early BY CANDY DOVE body. “The most challenging part of design- Shannon Vavra Executive Features Editor Lily Sieradzki Features Editors My Sis “It’s not everyday you get to make a ing the study was figuring out a way to Charlotte Gilliland whole new website that’s intentionally capture results,” Johnson said. “We knew Emily Bartlett Vicky Rathsmill The Tufts Department of Psychology confusing just for the sake of science,” that social media and Internet search Emma Arnesty-Good Assistant Features Editors Caitlin McClure announced yesterday that iSIS was not intro- Kenneth Johnson, a graduate student tracking would be key. We ended up being Sabrina McMillin duced as an improvement to services provided involved in designing the experiment, able to track the Google searches on tuft- Julia McDaniel to students online, but rather an experiment said. swireless, initially with key phrases like that the department designed to explore the To design the study, the team of students ‘iSIS tutorial,’ and ‘how the f**k do you use Smushed Grapes The Most Artsy One trait of patience in this generation of college came with ideas to test patience by mak- iSIS.’” Mark Twerk Artsiers students. Students, faculty and staff have all ing a list of pet peeves on other websites, The lack of patience and onslaught Edgar Allan Poop Charles Dick-in-a-box Artsies failed. according to Johnson. The most common of frustration was obvious after the first Jack Keroquack Though it was meant to be a longitu- one was load-time, which the team incor- couple of weeks of the study, accord- Nathaniel Hawporn Mary Spelly dinal study, the administers of the experi- porated into the study with a delayed load- ing to Johnson. There was a significant ment ended the study due to potentially time for transcripts and general disorgani- and steady stream of Facebook status detrimental side effects. What began in 2010 zation. updates like ‘iSIS why?,’ ‘iSIS, you are Biskit Now The as a small cohort of graduate students in The group of students took their idea ruining my life’ and ‘I give up iSIS, you Potted Plant Fishsticks the psychology department, soon grew to to Tufts Technology Services Director win.’ Small Min include undergraduate students and profes- of Communications and Organizational “It got to the point where the student Rudy Bega Whole Team Basket Ball sors, like Director of Graduate Studies Nancy Effectiveness Auburn Danish, who was body really couldn’t handle any more stress Personal Pizza Kenmore.