PROGRAM #30 AEVISE.D SCRIPT _AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPAN_Y LUCIiX STR IKE TBE JACK BENNY PROGRAM_ SUNDAY, APRIL 5, 1953 CBS 4 :00-4 ;30 PM PST BB Ri"MO) 07 6 3 6 73 THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM APRIL 5, 1953 (`PRANSCRISED LsaaoE 31, 1953) OPENING COMM6RCL4L WILSON : Tf E JACK BENNY PROGRAM . .TRANSCRIBEI] AND PRESENTED BY LUCKY ~ STRIKE! You know, in a cigarette . .nothing -- no nothing -- beats better taste . And . ~ COLLINS : Luckies taste bettert ~ CHORUS : Cleaner, fresher, smoocher! i COLLINS : Luckies taste better! ~ CHORUS : Cleaner, fresher, smoother! For Lucky Strike means fine tobacco Richer-tasting tobacco ; Luckies taste better! . COLLINS I CHORUS : Cleaner, fresher, smoother! Lucky Strike! Lucky Strike : WILSON• This is Don Wilson I think you'll agree that smoking enjoyment depends on the taste of your cigarette . For nothing -- no, nothinR beats better taste . And Luckies taste better . Cleaner, fresher, smoother . Here's why : Luckies better taste starts with fine, mild, good-tasting , tobacco . Remember, IS/N.Pr -- Lucky Strike means fine tobacco . And equally important, Luckies are made better to taste better . .made round and firm and fully packed to draw freely, smoke evenly, and give you- a cleaner, fresher, smoother taste . So friends, ge^, the one thing you want most in your cigarette . better taste! On your next trip to the cigarette counter, be happy -- go Lu~! Ask for a carton of Lu~Strike . You'll find . COLLINS : Luckies taste better! CHORUS : Cleaner, fresher, smoother! CHORUS : Lucky Strike! Lucky Strike! BB rar W r oiss 6 Ta. (FIFST ROUTINE) _ I (AFTER COMMERCIAL, MUSIC UP AND DW1N) + DON : THE LUCKP STRII{E PROGRAM, STARRING JACK BENNY . .WITH MARY LNINGSTONE, ROCHESTER, DENNIS DAY, B0B CROSBY, THE SPORTSMEPi QUARTET AND "YOURS TRULY" DON WIL .40N . (APPIAUSE . .MUSIC UP PSVD DCWN) DON : IADIES AIDD GENTLEMEN. .IT'S EABTEft SLmIDAY . .AND IN CITIES ALL OVER TEE COUNTRY PEOPLE ARE PAR2.DING . .RIGHT NOW IN BEVERLY HILLS JACK IS GETTING READY FOR HIS STROLL DOn'N ~ WILBHIRE BOUL E /ARD AS 13 HIS CUSTOM EVERY EASTER . .AT THE MOMENT HE'S TAPSNG A SHOWER, AND ROC?iESTER IS LAYING OUT HI8 CLOTEES, ROCH : -i5~.; r-~`-._-'t~3~-~ . , - , a .AW{?-'Pfa . WATiH P'A9M, b42 . BENNY'S BEL:N IN TFAT SHOWF,R A LONG TIME . .BUT HE ALWAYS STAYS IN THE'RPs PRETTY LONG . HE'D GET THROUGH SOONER IF HE'D SING IN 2HE SHCWER LIKE EVERYBODY EL4E INSTEAD OF PLAYING HIS VIOLIN . .BLT IT WAS PRETTY CLEVER THE WAY HE TIID THAT BRUSH ON THE END OF HIS VIOLIN , BOW. .I'LL BET HEIFITZ CAN'T PLAY "LOVE IN BLOOiK" AND SCRUB , HIS BACK AT THE SAM TIME . t JACK: OH ROCHESTER . .RCCHESTER, I ROCH : YES, BOSS . ~ JACK: I'm through with rty shower . .hand me my towel, ROCH: YOUR T04IEL? ~ JACK : All right, the Statler's . don't Ue so technical when I'm , freezing . I ROCH : HERE YOU ARE . .AND :INE 'S YOUR SHORTS . i BB A 1-kC 01 0 3 8 3E15 JACK: Thanks . .Gee, that shower,was invigorating . You know, Rochester . .sinee-Z've been-dieting, I feel like a new man . anfi I look so muchtMnrIer, donvt I? ' ROCH : ~Q YOU LOOK ABOUT TRR SAA7~ TO ME, :BOSS . JACK : ~~bon't be silly . I bet_)[ 1ost .a . .l.ot of weight . I'll get cn the scale and show you, (SOUND: STANDING ON SCALE . .PENNY DROPPING . .GRINDLNG nuoHlr ER c AND CARD CoMES CUT) *A~ OF JACK: ~A Here's the card . .Let me saewhat it says . ._"You would be ." e.financial success if yoiY,"weren*t such a spendthrift I ROCH : OH, SCALF, OME NOW! JACK: And here'sqmy weight . .Hnmm . .one hundred and two pounds . Rochester, this scale is way off . R00H: I COULDA TOLD YOU THAT WHEN YOU READ YOUR FORTUNE . JACK: Never mind . .Let's check this scale . .Rochester, you get on . see how much you weigh . ROCH : OKAY . .LET'S SEE IF I'VE GOT A PENNY . (SOUND: JINGLE OF COINS) ROCH : YEAH, Ii=•RE'S ONE . (SCIND: STANDING ON SCALE . .PED@IY DROPPING . GRSNDING OF fMCIiLNFRY AND CARD COMES OUT) ROCH: YlELL, MY '+lEIGHT IS CORPECT . JACK: Gocd . .what does the card say on the other side? ROCH : LET'S SM-1 . ."TELL'PHG PREVIOUS SPENDTH'iRIFT fiE PUT IN A SLUG' . p0 JACK : t's my scale I can do what I wnnt . .Now, Rochester, did you lay out my clothes? ROCH: YES SIR. .YOUR BLL'E SUIT IS ON THE BED . BB HT ;K07 098367E+ -3- JACK: My blue suit? . .No? I wore that in the Easter Parade last I year . .I better wear something else . (SOUA'D ; D00R BUZZER) JACK : Answer the door, Rochester, I'll pick out a suit . ROCH: (FADING) -ffAfzY:-H,~i1rJ, ~~" JACK : Rochester always ~tries to mske me look so conservative . .This ~ is the Easter Paxade . .I should wear something Springy . Let's see . .what could I---I know, r-'11 wear myy white suit . ~ I'll bet it's as good as the year I put it away . I ROCH: BOSS, NI:SS L:Z7?1(i4^ONE IS HERE . I JACK: Oh yes . .she's walking in the Easter Parade with me . .Te1l her I I'll be right out . I RCCR: OKAY . :oTFL4T ATME '10?i F .. :.":i'dG JN TH.1T WHITE SUIT FOR? I JACK : I'm gonna waar i : in the pars:3e . ~ ROCH: BUT BOSS, I THINK ',[ZiE, BLUE ONE Y70DLD LOOK A LOT-- i JACK: Rochester, I'm gonna wear the wY_ite suit and that settles it . ~ ZOCH : OKAY OKAY . I (SOUND : FEW FCOTSTEPS) I MARY : Is he ready, Rochester? ~ ROCH : HE WILL BE IN F~,~1iNUTE .,,SAY, NLSS LIVINGSTONE, THAT'S A BEAUTIFOL LRP'SS YOC'VE GOT ON . t~ . MARY :'~bU~"'Thank you, Rochester . RCCH : AVD TH9T BELT : ARE THOSE REAL DIAMONDS ON IT? MARY: Uh huh . , ROCH : iJELL, IT SURE IS BEAUTIFUL . .I'VE NEGER SEEN A BELT LIKE THAT . MARY : it isn't mine . It belongs to my sister Babe . ROCH : 0& . BB F37-}S 0 1 0 1835 1? LNARV : Ring Magazine gave it to her when she retired undefeated . ROCH: OH YES, SHE WAS A LIGHT~~-H~E~AVY~, WpASN'T SHE? MeIRY : (LAUGHS) }'ee.kl . •''i~C,~+...lr_ . JACK : (COMING IN) Hello, Mary . .Happy Easter . MARY : Happy -- JACK, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WEAR THAT WHITE SUIT . JACK : Why not, what's wrong with it? MARY : I haven't seen one like that since Admiral Byrd came back ~ from the South Pole . JACK: What are ,you talking about? I MARY: Well, if you're going to wear it, at least wipe that tomato e~ JAeK: a-op o rth, peJ, .A ~~~a._.r MJA K ;~` Whzt~~or .`~roin 9tance Kt'llalook '_ike a red carnatior. ~ 3 Come on, Mary, -~_et'= go . .See you later, Rochester . ROCH: GOODBYE, BOSS . .GGODDYL, MISS SSVSNGSTONE . MARY : Goodb-e,~' Rochester }'e---yul. By the goingway, s -y-out ~' tcs.walk---y in the Easter Parade ~'? ROCH : YES, BUT FIRST I'VE GOTTA Me= A CALL TO A GIRL I HAVE A BIS'_QD DATE WITH . I'VT COTTA TELi, HER ABOUT A CHANGE IN PLPNS . JACK: Change in plans? RCCH: YEAH, I TOLD HER TO BE ON THE CORNER OF SIXTH AND CENTRAL AND LOOK FOR A PrL9N H_ARING A WIffTE SUIT . JACK : Oh, so t1;at's why you -- well wear our blue one, it's your turn to be conservative . Come on Mary, let's go . I (SHORT TRANSITION MUSIC . ."EAS2'ER PARADE") (SOUND : STRIS~T idOISES . .FCOTSTIPS CONTINUING ON CEMENT BEHIND FOLLOWING) MARY: Gee, there are a lot of people out walking on Wilshire Boulevard . HB ATX01 01 8 3E7 8 -5- JACK : Yeah. you know . .this is a wonderful time of the year . There's something in the air . .a spirit of awakening . of romance . .It makes me feel so young . .(COY) and you lmow what they say, Mary . .in the Spring a young man's fancy turns to love . MARY: Give me your hand, Jack . JACK : Gee, do you feel romantic, too? MARY: No, we're coming to a, curb ar.d I don't want you to fall on your face . JACK : Hmmmn . MARY : Jack, lock who's coming this way .. .Isn't that one of the boys in your Beavers Club? J'1 JACK : Oh yes ;tit's Jcey Hudson . (SCUND : FCOTSTEPS STOP) MARY: Hello, Joey . STUFFY : Hello, Miss Livingstone . JACK: Hello, Jcey . 3TU=`?Y : Hello, Mr . Benny . .Hey, dig ths.t crazy carnation . JACK: See . .I told you, Mary . ! ~ Say,Mr-Benny-yov-shoulc~have~een~;t~ur-3as t-meecing .-~_ \~We formed a baseball team . _ JACK: Really\~~\ ~ - I STOFFY : Yeah . .and we're nar,iing-it after my father . We're genna call ourselves~. Hudson Hurri es:- , I JACK: _ TheHudsun Hurricanes? 33§F'?k--Don!~youlik~it?_ . BB F3 V H 0 7 0 1 83E79 -5- JACK ; Yeah . you know . .this is a wonderfUl time of the year . There's something in the air . .a spirit of awakening . of romance . .It makes me feel so young . .(CCY) and you know what I they say, Mary . .in the Spring a young man's fancy turns to love . MARY : Give me your hand, Jack . JACK : Gee, do you feel romantic, too? MARY: No, we're coming to a curb and I don't want you to fall on your face . JACK: Hummm : Jack, lock. MAFtY who's coming thts way . .Isn't that one of the boys in your Beavers Club? JACK: Oh yes ,;Ii t's Joey Hudson .