A GUIDE TO BAR/BAT MITZVAH TEMPLE SHA’AREY SHALOM 2012 - 2013 Dear Parents, This is a special time for all of us. As the day of your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah approaches, the leadership of Temple Sha’arey Shalom shares the joyful anticipation of each particular family. We want you to know that we will do everything possible to insure that when your child is called to the Torah as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, it will be a joyous and meaningful milestone, bringing to each student a sense of fulfillment and pride. Bar and Bat Mitzvah literally means “Son and Daughter of the Commandment”. Throughout most of Jewish history, it has represented a ceremonial recognition that a young person has accepted responsibility for the observance of mitzvoth and for the well being of our people. The Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremony, however, is not the ultimate stage in Jewish learning. We at Sha’arey Shalom are committed to educating our students through the tenth grade, when Confirmation class is held; and, beyond Confirmation, we encourage every member to participate in adult education. Lifelong study is the natural complement to Bar/Bat Mitzvah. ] As we look forward to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah, so we anticipate celebrating his or her Confirmation and many other joyous events with you and your family. Mazel Tov on reaching this time in your life! Sincerely, Rabbi Ari Rosenberg BAR/BAT MITZVAH PREPARATION AT TEMPLE SHA’AREY SHALOM STEP 1: From the beginning of Religious School education, your child is prepared to be a practicing Jew. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is but one of the options along this path. Our goal by the 7th grade is to have your child feel comfortable within the framework of a synagogue service. Our curriculum is designed to give our students a broad understanding of the various facets of their heritage: God, holidays, life cycle celebration, Bible, history, prayer and Hebrew language, ethics, Jewish literature and culture. STEP 2: Parents will be contacted a sufficient time in advance to determine a date for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Our Board of Trustees has resolved that there be no more than a one-month gap between a child’s birthday and his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Those students with birthdays from July 1- 31 will have their Bar/Bat Mitzvah observed in June. Those with birthdays from August 1-31 will have their Bar/Bat Mitzvah observed in September. Occasionally, there may be situations when the number of B’nai Mitzvah will require that observances be held in May or earlier, or October or later. A fee of $150 will be charged for any Bar/Bat Mitzvah date changes made after the dates are assigned. STEP 3: The Cantor is responsible for the individualized training of Hebrew reading and chanting skills for your child to become a Bat or Bar Mitzvah. The Rabbi assigns the Torah and Haftarah portions according to the Jewish calendar. Soon after the Cantor will begin the preparation. Preparation with the Cantor involves a half hour weekly lesson and regular practice by the student at home. In order to fulfill the requirements of Bar or Bat Mitzvah fully, it is the obligation of each Bar or Bat Mitzvah to attend at least ten (10) Friday evening or Shabbat morning services or study Minyans prior to his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah. We ask parents to attend these services with their children. The students should report their service attendance to the Cantor at their next Bar/Bat Mitzvah lesson. STEP 4: The Rabbi offers a Family Bar/Bat Mitzvah Preparation Course which is required for Bar/Bat Mitzvah Families. It meets for one (1) two-hour session and normally occurs twice a year for those families celebrating a Bar or Bat Mitzvah over the next six-month period. The course is informational and is designed to allow each family the opportunity of communicating their feelings of pride and anxieties to one another. It is a time for sharing and learning about the tradition we call Bar/Bat Mitzvah. STEP 5: At least 6 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the Rabbi will set up appointments with your child. The Rabbi will meet with your child on an individual basis. He will discuss the significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah with your child, the meaning of the Torah and Haftarah portion, the creation of a speech, and the importance of going on to Confirmation. The Rabbi also rehearses with your child on the Bimah. ADDITIONAL TUTORING In those cases where a child has fallen behind in his or her studies and preparation, he or she will be required to be privately tutored. The arrangements and payments for the tutorial lessons are to be made by the parents. The Religious School Principal can provide parents with the names and fees of tutors. STEP 6: GENERAL REQUIREMENTS Students must be in good standing in the Religious School – all work must be up-to-date and all requirements of the Religious School fulfilled. Our Religious School curriculum requires at least five years of attendance beginning in grade three and continuing to the end of the seventh grade year in order to receive Bar/Bat Mitzvah lessons and become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH CELEBRATION Our Congregation is geared to Shabbat Morning Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. On Erev Shabbat (Friday night) the service belongs to the Congregation. Within the framework of the Erev Shabbat experience, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family shares it simcha. There are occasions when special services or other events are added to the joy of the evening. 2 FLOWERS FOR THE BIMAH From time to time, parents of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs ask about decorating the Bimah. We believe that the Sanctuary’s beauty can be enhanced through floral and plant decorations on both ends of the Bimah. Our Bimah now has a permanent floral decoration. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families have the option of providing fresh flowers or plants for the Friday night and Saturday morning service. We now require that mitzvah projects not be displayed on the Bimah. As proud as we are of our students’ mitzvah projects, when placed on the Bimah they can detract from the beauty of our worship space. We, therefore, ask that when families wish to draw attention to a mitzvah project, they do so outside of the sanctuary. Families may set up an area in the Temple Lobby for a display of their mitzvah project. Please consult with the Rabbi, or the Cantor when you consider this. THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH PARTICIPATION WITHIN THE FRIDAY EVENING SERVICE 1. CANDLE BLESSING – The mother offers blessing over the Shabbat candles on Friday night. If you are having a Bat Mitzvah, your daughter will do it with you. If yours is a Bar Mitzvah, a daughter, sister, grandmother, or friend may share the honor with you, or you may say the blessing over the candles yourself or with your son. A “parents’ tape” is supplied to assist you in learning the Hebrew blessing. Please refer to the text on the last page of the booklet. Please advise the Sisterhood Oneg Shabbat Chairperson who will be saying the blessing over the Shabbat candles at least six weeks before your date so that it may be included in the Scroll. 2. KIDDUSH – The Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants the Kiddush in honor of the Shabbat on Friday evening. 3. ONEG SHABBAT – A list has been prepared as a guide for your use. (See Parental Responsibility) SHABBAT MORNING Our Temple provides you the opportunity to worship within a Reform framework. Our service begins at 10:30 a.m. and lasts until approximately 12:00 noon. We provide Kipot and Talleisim for those who wish to wear them. For those B’nai Mitzvah wearing Talleisim, a special ceremony precedes the Torah service. The Sisterhood Judaica Shop can provide you with an appropriate Tallit for your child. Families can create their own personally designed Tallit at the Tallit workshop offered during the 6th grade year. All people who attend our service on Saturday morning are invited to the Kiddush. 3 PARENTAL PARTICIPATION WITHIN THE SHABBAT MORNING SERVICE Parents need to be prepared to recite prayers at two points during the Shabbat morning service. 1. After the opening song, parents stand with their child at the foot of the Bimah, present a tallit (where applicable), and read the prayer at the bottom of page 380. 2. Parents will have an ALIYAH to the TORAH. We encourage both mother and father to share the third Aliyah prior to their child’s reading Torah. Text and tape is available from the Cantor if you need help preparing for this honor. HONORS FOR FAMILY MEMBERS OTHER THAN PARENTS 1. Opening the Ark for the Barchu 2. Dressing and undressing of the Torah (younger siblings below the age of 13 may assist in this honor) 3. Opening Ark for the Aleynu 4. Aliyot to the Torah (being called to the Torah and saying the blessings). Our Temple allows up to 4 Aliyot in addition to the parents. Aliyot should be given to those people who have the knowledge to sing the blessings. Both men and women are eligible for Aliyot. On the last page of this booklet is a copy of the Aliya Blessing in Hebrew and in transliteration. The chanting can be found on the “Parents’ Tape”. WHEN ONE PARENT IS NOT JEWISH Temple Sha’arey Shalom, while committed to supporting and welcoming interfaith couples, recognizes the need to maintain the privileges accorded to Jews-by-birth and Jews-by- choice.