THE F.R.A.U.D. FRAMEWORK A 5-Step Guide To Overcoming Impostor Syndrome Vanetta Morrison 1 The F.R.A.U.D. Framework: A 5-Step Guide To Overcoming Impostor Syndrome by Vanetta Morrison. © 2020 The Blueprint Way. www.blueprintway.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or modified in any form, including photocopying, recording, orby any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Vanetta Morrison, [email protected]. This publication is meant as a source of valuable information for the reader, however it is not meant as a substitute for direct expert assistance. If such level of assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. The author assumes no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any other inconsistencies herein and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. Cover art, design and editing by Dr Gyles Morrison. Contents Welcome 4 About the Author 5 Introduction 6 Fact or Fiction? 9 Reframing 12 Adaptability 16 Understanding 20 Defence 23 Summary 27 What’s Next 28 Welcome Thank you for subscribing to The Blueprint Way Mailing List! I’m excited you are here and ready to dig into a topic most of us struggle with at some point in our lives. If you didn’t know yet, The Blueprint Way (TBW) is a specialist coaching, counselling and change management consultancy. The aim of TBW is to help: ● people achieve greater purpose, peace and pleasure in life ● people resolve any stuckness, stress, sadness or shame they may be suffering ● businesses manage change more efficiently, effectively and with emotional intelligence You can find out more about my services onblueprintway.com Here, and honoured to help, Vanetta Morrison Director of The Blueprint Way 4 About the Author Vanetta is an ACC (Association of Christian Counsellors) accredited counsellor, with over 2 years experience, specialising in Integrative counselling. This means she is experienced in applying a variety of counselling approaches (Person-centred, CBT, Solution-focused, Transactional Analysis) within a set framework tailored to the individual needs of her clients. She works with a diverse group of clients, focusing on mild to moderate anxiety and depression, abuse, trauma, relational conflict, low self esteem and grief and loss. She is also a life & career coach and a change management consultant, leveraging 12+ years of leadership, management and psychology experience and facilitating significant individual and organisational successes; both in the Higher Education and charity sector. She prides herself in being a warm, accepting, empathic, organised and highly competent professional. Tactful in her approach, yet not afraid of constructive confrontation for the sake of true reconciliation, productivity and individual growth. 5 Introduction If you have ever found yourself doing something that you are passionate about publicly for the first time, you’ve probably experienced Impostor Syndrome. It’s that feeling of convincing panic that someone is going to tell you they made a mistake in hiring or booking you, because you are a fraud. That feeling that you don’t belong and that your successes are down to luck and that eventually everyone will find out you are not as good as you say you are. That nagging sense of inadequacy and self-doubt despite you having put in the work. Impostor Syndrome is officially defined as: “a false and sometimes crippling belief that one's successes are the product of luck or fraud rather than skill”¹. Research suggests that at least 70% of people will experience or already have experienced Impostor Syndrome in their lives². I have definitely struggled with Impostor Syndrome many times already in my life and even more so after I had finished university. This is partly because I believed the lie that as soon as I completed my degree I would get a job in my field and be on my way to becoming an expert.... I felt like a fraud in my first paid management role, even though I had voluntarily managed or led teams for years. I felt like a fraud when I was counselling my first clients, although I had done my training and had years of unofficial experience in that area too. I felt like a fraud becoming a wife because I had little relationship, let alone marriage, experience. Basically, whenever I have been faced with something new or challenging in the past 10 years I have felt like an impostor to begin with, and sometimes even throughout, even though it was clear I was doing a good job at the time. ¹ https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/what-is-impostor-syndrome ² https://www.tci-thaijo.org/index.php/IJBS/article/view/521 6 An expert on the subject of Impostor Syndrome, Dr. Valerie Young has conducted decades of research examining fraudulent feelings among high achievers. Her findings have added to her award-winning book ‘The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It’. Dr Young herself states: “The goal is not to never feel like an impostor. The goal for me is to give [people] the tools and the insight and information to talk themselves down faster. They can still have an impostor moment, but not an impostor life.”³ I couldn’t have said it better myself! There is no magic one time treatment for Impostor Syndrome, but that's okay. The problem occurs when you allow Impostor Syndrome to become an identity rather than containing it as a temporary incident. This can then stop you from progressing because you don’t feel like you will ever be good enough. Yet every expert started off as a student, so the world might miss out on your current and future expertise if you keep talking yourself up as an impostor and down from doing what you are meant to do. Overcoming Impostor Syndrome is not about being a perfectionist or being the best there ever was at [insert job of your choice]. It’s about learning to accept yourself - flaws and successes - and see the value you provide to your field and humankind, no matter what level of expertise you are at. We cannot allow perfectionism and self-doubt to trap us in the most vicious of cycles in which we never feel good enough, but always aim to be perfect. This can cause serious anxiety and depression and negatively impact the quality of our lives. Based on Dr. Young and many others’ research, here are my 5 steps for you to talk yourself down from Impostor Syndrome faster: I call it F.R.A.U.D. (see what I did there!?). ³ https://time.com/⁵³¹²⁴⁸³/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome/ 7 The F.R.A.U.D. Framework Below is a figure of the 5 elements that can help you overcome Impostor Syndrome. Although this is presented as a cyclical, progressive model, you might only need to work through one step before you can effectively challenge your thoughts and push past feelings of being an impostor. The order is just there to help you remember. Let us have a look at these 5 steps in more detail. 8 Fact or Fiction? 9 Fact or Fiction? “The only way to stop feeling like an impostor, is to stop thinking like an impostor.” Dr Valerie Young Impostor Syndrome is an issue that begins by occupying your thoughts, swiftly followed by your feelings which can then influence everything you do. Because the emotive side isso powerful, we can forget that our feelings don’t just come out of nowhere. They are triggered by our thoughts. So, to tackle Impostor Syndrome you need to examine your thoughts and nip any falsehoods in the bud. This can be done by presenting yourself with your own facts of not being an impostor, i.e. your achievements. When setting up The Blueprint Way, I had countless moments of Impostor Syndrome rearing its ugly head. Some days ended with me in tears, wanting to shut it all down, because I thought I wasn’t qualified enough to run my own business. And then one day, I was reviewing my CV and work experience for content for my ‘About’ page and it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks: no matter how strongly I felt like I wasn’t good enough to start my business, my achievements told a very different story. I got such an incredible confidence boost, because I had years and years of evidence of achieving. Listing your achievements is a great way of tackling Impostor Syndrome by exposing it as a fictitious thought rather than a fact. 10 Fact or Fiction? - The F.R.A.U.D Framework If you work in a regulated field like medicine, teaching or counselling and you have passed the academic and practical parts, then you should be able to confidently say you do what you are trained to do. If it is an unregulated field like management, marketing or coaching, then your ability to deliver the relevant results and your industry-relevant experience are more important than your qualifications. Either way, you need to engage in the activity of listing your achievements, training and experience and repeating them back to yourself as facts. Task: 5 minutes Spend 2 minutes writing down all the facts that support you being a fraud. Be truthful, only write down something that genuinely makes you a fraud. I’m expecting this list to be very short, if not empty.