Houston Asian American Archive (HAAA) Chao Center for Asian Studies, Rice University Interviewees: Melanie Pang & Kendall Toarmina Pang Interviewer: Gordan Liu Date of Interview: January 16, 2021 TransCribed by: Ann Shi Reviewed by: Melanie Pang & Kendall Toarmina Pang Audio TraCk Time: 1:11:57 BaCkground: Melanie Pang (she/her), who was born in Missouri City, TX in 1986, is the DireCtor of AdvoCaCy at the Houston Food Bank. She was the inaugural Co-chair of Mayor Sylvester Turner’s LGBTQ Board of Advisory for a two-year term. She advocates for policies that address root causes of poverty and food insecurity, leveraging relationships and resources for social change. Melanie was born of Chinese father and Filipino mother, both immigrants. Kendall Toarmina Pang (she/her), who reCeived her BA and MBA from RiCe University, now is a management Consultant at PriCewaterhouseCoopers. Kendall is Jewish by faith and is CauCasian. The Couple, who identify as queer, met at Willy’s Pub in RiCe University during a drag show when both of them were attending college— Melanie was in University of Houston and Kendall at Rice. They fell in love and even a year of long-distance relationship when Kendall was working in Argentina did not separate them. Kendall proposed to Melanie in the Rice Chapel as a surprise, disguised as an award ceremony. The couple now lives in Houston, with their two rescue dogs. Setting: The interview took plaCe via Zoom in eaCh person’s residenCes. Key: MP: Melanie Pang KTP: Kendall Toarmina Pang GL: Gordan Liu —: speeCh cuts off; abrupt stop …: speeCh trails off; pause Italics: emphasis (?): preCeding word may not be aCCurate [BraCkets]: aCtions (laughs, sighs, etc.) Interview transcript: GL: Hello, today is January 16, 2021. My name is Gordon Liu and I'm here with Melanie and Kendall Toarmina Pang for the Houston Asian AmeriCan ArChive's speCial series on love. So, to start us off, could you each briefly introduce yourselves to anyone who's new? MP: Sure, so great to be on the show with you. My name is Melanie Pang, I grew up in Missouri City, Texas; have grown up in the Houston area pretty much my whole life. went to the University of Houston to pursue a degree in journalism, actually, to pursue a degree in music education, which you know how that goes, changed my major three times. I got my degree in journalism, went back for a degree in social work, and have really enjoyed working in nonprofits in Houston for the last 10 years. And I'm Currently at the Houston Food Bank, as their DireCtor of AdvoCaCy. Yeah, that's it. That's it for me. KTP: 1 I'm Kendall Toarmina Pang and I have been married to this wonderful person, Melanie, for the last three years. I am originally from Nashville, Tennessee. I moved to Houston in 2006. And got my bachelor's at RiCe University. I spent a year living in Argentina and came back and started working in nonprofit; did that for about four years; got my MBA from Rice. And I've been with PricewaterhouseCoopers ever sinCe as a management consultant. We have two adorable dogs who are amazing, and a bunch of amazing nieces and nephews. We bought our first house together about three years ago, too. And we've been together for about 10 years. So I think that's a little bit about me. MP: Oh, and I forgot to mention that. My dad immigrated here from China and my mom Came from the Philippines. They got married after knowing each other for about six months or less. And I'm one of four siblings. GL: Wonderful. Thank you. And Could you tell me how you two first met eaCh other? KTP: Yeah, we. So we first met when we were eaCh in our last year of, of our baChelor's degree. So I was a senior in college. [MP: And I was a super senior.] We... [chuCkles] Melanie went to the University of Houston, and I went to RiCe University, and she was on campus for an LGBT event. And I saw her perform, and I was just really smitten with her. And so we chatted for just like very briefly, and I exchanged Facebook contact information. And that's how we first met. MP: I have just some small edits. [KTP: Please go for it.] So I was there. So I was the president of the LGBTQ organization at the University of Houston. I don't remember if there had been a queer Asian person in charge of that group before me. But if there were any, I didn't get the chance to meet them. And one of the things we wanted to do with the University of Houston was to have a drag show. And Ri- RiCe University's drag show was like very well renowned at the time. And so I was like, "Oh, well, maybe I'll go check it out." I messaged their Vice President, I think at the time, Jordan, and he said, "Oh, you shouldn't just come and see you should come be a part of it." And so I aCtually was in drag on stage. And there are aCtually photos of us before we even knew eaCh other's names, like danCing together, which I thought was pretty cool. So that was our like, first time meeting was after my aCt. And it was aCtually because I have, because of our mutual friend Jordan that I was able to find her, because I'm a weirdo and I like to friend everybody I meet. And yeah, so we– we reConneCted over FaCebook, you know, here and there over time, and that's how I got to know her better. GL: That's awesome. And what were your first impressions of eaCh other that day? MP: I'll let Kendall go for it! KTP: No, no, you go first. MP: Okay, um, let's see. I mean, super honest. No one asked for super honest. You know, being a part of an LGBT organization and being in the leadership, you think that you're going to be like, so muCh more attuned to not making assumptions; but I definitely assumed that she was straight. And I assumed that she would not be interested in me, beCause that's also kind of who I was at that time. I just always assumed 2 that people weren't interested in me anyway. [KTP: What were your first impression of me when you did know me at all?] ...at all, I thought you were just a very, like, joyful, radiant person, and very kind. You were great to have Conversations with beCause you're a great listener, as well as Conversationalist. Those are my first impressions. KTP: My first impressions of Melanie, when I first... like very first saw her before I really knew her, was just that she was very attraCtive. It was very confusing for me. And then when I aCtually got to know her better, but I think she sort of mentioned that she was doing, she was gathering donations for some organizations. And I could tell how big a heart that she had. And she was doing this volunteer work and gathering these donations just because she wanted to; not because of any type of like, obligation or program; or like, even, like a certain personal connection. And I just thought that was wonderful. And I thought she was really, really funny. And I mean, very similar to what you said about me, very easy to talk to. And still very attraCtive. So still very confusing. MP: Yeah, I aCtually left that out earlier about the... so. You know, we met at Willy's pub. But the next time we were ever faCe to faCe again, was beCause I posted something on FaCebook about getting some donations together. And she said she had donations to give. So my first impression about her kindness and generosity was on point. GL: So it sounds like this relationship has really evolved in many different stages. And when was the moment that you realized you were in love? KTP: Oh, I think for me, I, oh, man, there was a moment, when I had spent a lot of time with her, I had piCked her up from her house in the morning, because she was again doing some, some wonderful work. Well, she– she had planned to run the Houston like half marathon to raise money for the Houston Food Bank. And long story short, she had gotten siCk and wasn't able to, but we were picking up some things related to that. And anyway, we had just, we ended up spending the whole day together. And it was like, three o'clock in the morning by the time I got home. And the next morning, I was having conversations about it and was asked if I was in love with her. And I said yes. MP: ...was very early. KTP: I tend to know very quickly if I am in love with Melanie. MP: I think for where I was at that time, I had sort of been used to very unrequited love situations. And so I was very, I was very cautious, very cautiously optimistic about how things were progressing. And so I was very, kind of— I mean not guarded, per se— but like... KTP: Not to, I mean, sorry, interrupted, I was also about to move to Argentina within like, six weeks.