Western Michigan University ScholarWorks at WMU Honors Theses Lee Honors College 12-13-2010 Stopping for Death: Plays, Poetry, and Prose Sally Johnson Western Michigan University Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.wmich.edu/honors_theses Part of the Playwriting Commons, and the Poetry Commons Recommended Citation Johnson, Sally, "Stopping for Death: Plays, Poetry, and Prose" (2010). Honors Theses. 1854. https://scholarworks.wmich.edu/honors_theses/1854 This Honors Thesis-Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by the Lee Honors College at ScholarWorks at WMU. It has been accepted for inclusion in Honors Theses by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks at WMU. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Stopping for Death: Plays, Poetry, and Prose By: Sally Johnson Western Michigan University Lee Honors College Thesis December 13in,th 2010 Contents Mealworm World 5 Second of Six First Communions 6 Flood 7 While Waiting for Bus 305-A in the Early Morning, Wearing a Rain Jacket and Pigtails Right After My Mother Reminds Me Not to Judge Books 8 Defenses Animals Use 9 Why It Is So Loud 17 Oh, Holy Night 18 Train Sonnet 19 Sonnet of Sound 20 The Aunts Go Marching 21 How Bad It Is 43 Nothing Good 44 This is What Happened 45 Reaching Zero 46 Holy Pink Pagoda 47 Make Believe 55 Our Father, Who Art 56 Borne 57 A Mother's Pearls: Sestina 58 Over My Head 59 Illumination 71 Neighbor Sestina 72 Nesting 73 Defining Metaphor 74 The Rocks We Throw 75 Mealworm World Second of Six First Communions My father held me over the sink. I was dressed in white. In the same dress my older sister once wore. In the same dress my younger sisters would wear. We were going to be late. I forgot to brush my teeth before I put on the layers oftulle, ofruffles and lace, ofCatholicism. I could not accept Christ's body, Christ's blood with a dirty mouth. My father held a towel around the front ofmy dress as suds dripped into the sink. The mint hit my nostrils and I wondered what wine would taste like after toothpaste. He scolded me for being forgetful. He told me I looked beautiful. He asked me to practice saying 'Amen.' I mumbled it through white foam and bristles. Mom was getting the other kids dressed, the boys in suits too small or too big because they were borrowed. I could not believe I got fifty dollars with a rosary inside a white purse. I held the money in gloved hands, white gloves. My dad kept the money, for "safe-keeping." I was punished for pouting, for not understanding. I asked for forgiveness and first wondered when it was my turn to hold my own. Flood I was drooling, wearing pigtails. My dad came to shake my older sister and me awake. Girls, get up, we have to go. It's late or early; we cannot lift our lids. But, we're the oldest, we need to set an example. The little ones were crying. I think there were four ofus then? This was before I was responsible for everything. I tried to stay awake and dreamt I did instead. But there are things I remember. My mother kept telling us there is water in the basement, water everywhere, but I don't understand: maybe the basement matters. Dad hoisted me in my footed pajamas through rain to the car. Mom told us we 're going to Grandma's house, where it is dry; safe. She buckles us in. The police were mad at us; at my father who waded the basement waters and stayed alive. There were sparks ofelectricity in that water; in that house. There was something to die from, for. My mind was young and water-logged, / do not understand. My drowned house cannot be saved. All our pictures stained, ruined or washed away. I do not know what I looked like as a child. While Waiting for Bus 305-A in the Early Morning, Wearing a Rain Jacket and Pigtails Right After My Mother Reminds Me Not to Judge Books like the rock that's dark-bellied after I've plucked it from the soil. I remember that. There were worms there that fell away from the light, found new ground to eat up, to make their meals. The same worms that would stretch their way to the surface after the rain, smelling ofthose early school days waiting for the bus. I remember Scott Green, third grade, eating a mealworm— our science project. We failed because it died. Scott Green grew up to be not a serial killer or child pornographer like you'd expect— he dotted his I's when we learned cursive, and that means something in this worm eat worm, human eat mealworm world. I remember the rain getting heavy and the rocks and worms nestling themselves back inward. The rocks didn't mind their heads getting wet while the rest ofthe worms crawled under their stomachs so as to not get cut to pieces while us children wondered which parts were male, which parts were female and which, oftheir thousand beating hearts, were bleeding out into our washed away sidewalk chalk. Defenses Animals Use The only time I went to the pond was that once with Connor. That was two summersago, when Connor was eleven and I was only nine. Even though he was older, and he pretended to be big, Connorwas still a little kid, like me. Kelly and the big kids warned us about the pond; they told us ghost stories to keep us away. Kelly is my big kid neighbor. She would alwaystease me about hangingout with Connor; she said he was my boyfriend. I didn't think he was. Connortold me that the big kids told those stories (about dying and drowningand ghosts of little kids) so they could have the pond all to themselves. He said I was lucky the pond was practically in my backyard. It was in the woods behind my house, and my mom told me that didn't belong to us. Connor said it didn't belong to anybody, and when somethingdoesn't belong to anybody, then it can be anybody's to have. I thought that was so brave; I thought Connor was brave. Even now that I'm eleven like he was, I still don't feel like Connor felt. I still feel like a little kid. I remember one night that summer: he snuck me out ofmy house, when we were both supposed to be sleeping. He told me I wouldn't get in trouble because I was younger. He told me that he would get blamed. I snuck out the glass sliding doorin the back ofmy house. I wanted to feel brave. We were lying down on the dirt and grass in my backyard. We looked up at the stars and held hands. It was the first time I held a boy hand and it didn't feel like my friends said it would. It was hot and wet, and the ground was wet too. I told him a secret of what I always thought. A secret I never said out loud until he held my hand. "I know we're people and we are still growing up and we still have to learn to become big kids and then grown-ups. I know we love God, but I always think we are a little science experiment." I was looking up at the stars; he was too. Then he turned his head toward mine; I kept looking up. "I always think maybe those stars are the fork-holes that let in the real air and we are all just bugs crawling about in the jar God made for us." Connor laughed at me and told me I was silly. But, he must have liked silly because he kept holding my hand and he kissed me on the cheek before we went inside to be warm. I never told anyone about that time with Connor, just like I never told anyone else about us being bugs—those were our secrets. That was the night before Connor and I went to the pond. We weren't allowed to go. We went when we told my mom we were playing capture the flag with the neighbor kids. We ran past the first trees; no one could see us, then we walked. I kept looking behind us because I thought we'd get caught. Connor told me I was chicken. Connor reminded me what the big kids said, and that they really all go there, and that's why they tell us to stay away. That's why no one wants us around; we're little. We got there, but there weren't any big kids, there wasn't anybody. The pond was a whole lot smaller than I thought it would be. I guess since it was supposed to be so scary I thought it'd be huge. It was just green mucky water surrounded by mud. Connor said he was sure he could jump right over it without even getting wet, but he didn't try. I told him I was nervous, and I thought we'd get in trouble, but I forgot about that when he splashed me with water. I laughed and didn't let him know I was really mad. I was thinking ofhow I had to take another shower then, because I was wet with smelly pond water.