Sherlock The Reichenbach Fall - Season 2, episode 3 John Watson sits in a chair as the rain pours down outside the window and thunder rumbles. He looks tired and his face is full of pain. ELLA (offscreen) Why today? (John frowns enquiringly. His therapist is sitting opposite him.) JOHN Do you want to hear me say it? ELLA Eighteen months since our last appointment. JOHN (his voice becoming quietly angry) Do you read the papers? ELLA Sometimes. JOHN Mmm, and you watch telly? You know why I’m here. (There’s a pained groan in his voice as he ends the sentence.) JOHN I’m here because… (His voice breaks and he can’t continue. He looks down, swallowing hard as he fights not to weep. Ella leans forward sympathetically.) ELLA What happened, John? (John closes his eyes, trying to get control of himself, then looks up at her again, his eyes full of loss. He clears his throat and breathes heavily.) JOHN (his voice breaking)Sher… (He can’t continue and he clears his throat again, swallowing hard.) ELLA (gently)You need to get it out. JOHN (softly, his voice full of pain and tears)My best friend…,Sherlock Holmes… (He sniffs, forcing his voice through the anguish.) JOHN …is dead. (He breaks and begins to cry.) Opening Credits. THREE MONTHS EARLIER. In an art gallery, the Director of the gallery is finishing his speech as he stands near a painting. GALLERY DIRECTOR Falls of the Reichenbach, Turner’s masterpiece, thankfully recovered owing to the prodigious talent of Mr. Sherlock Holmes. (The patrons applaud. Sherlock and John are standing nearby. The Director gives a small gift-wrapped box to Sherlock.) DIRECTOR A small token of our gratitude. (Sherlock takes the box and looks at it.) SHERLOCK Diamond cufflinks. All my cuffs have buttons. JOHN (to the Director) He means thank you. SHERLOCK Do I? JOHN Just say it. SHERLOCK (insincerely to the Director) Thank you. (He starts to walk away but John holds him back.) JOHN Hey. (Sherlock stops unwillingly as the press start taking photographs. Later, one of the photographs appears in a newspaper article headed “Hero of the Reichenbach”. The straplines read “Turner masterpiece recovered by ‘amateur’ ; “Scotland Yard embarrased [sic] by overlooked clues”. The text of the article reads “A Turner masterpiece worth £1.7million that was stolen from an auction house ten days ago has been recovered by an amateur detective from North London. Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street has been investigating the art crime simply as a hobby, and yet he was able to follow the trail that lead [sic] him to the famous work – a trail that Scotland Yard missed completely. Sherlock Holmes has gained cult following following the publication of his website – The Sci-…” at which point the text disappears offscreen. ) (A new newspaper article reads ”Top Banker Kidnapped” and the text reads ”Sherlock Holmes was last night being hailed a hero yet again for masterminding the daring escape of the kidnapped man. // Scotland Yard had to secretly bring in their special weapon (in the form of Mr Holmes) yet again. The case has drawn a huge amount of attention as the nation became divided about the outcome of the kidnapping. Bankers are certainly not the nations [sic] sweethearts any more, but Mr. Holmes certainly seems to be. As huge crowds gathered for the press conference, Mr Holmes was presented with a gift from...” and then the text disappears offscreen. Outside the banker’s house, the rescued man is standing with his arms around his wife and young son as the press film and photograph them while Sherlock and John stand uncomfortably nearby.) FATHER Back together with my family after my terrifying ordeal; and we have one person to thank for my deliverance – Sherlock Holmes. (As the public applaud, the boy smiles and offers a small gift-wrapped box to Sherlock. He takes it and rattles it briefly.) SHERLOCK (to John) Tie pin. I don’t wear ties. JOHN Shh. (A photograph of the scene appears in the next edition of the newspaper, headed “Reichenbach hero finds kidnap victim”.) (New article ”Ricoletti evades capture”. Your transcriber is already nearing page three of this transcript and is only two and a half minutes into the episode so let’s leave out the text of the article, but it suggests that the man named in the headline was responsible for the banker’s kidnap. We cut to Scotland Yard where D.I. Greg Lestrade is addressing a press conference. Sherlock and John stand nearby, and D.S. Sally Donovan and Doctor WhoCaresWhatHisFirstNameIs Anderson are at the back of the room.) LESTRADE Peter Ricoletti, number one on Interpol’s Most Wanted list since nineteen eighty-two. But we got him; and there’s one person we have to thank for giving us the decisive leads… with all his customary diplomacy and tact. (Sherlock smiles insincerely towards Greg while John leans closer to Sherlock and speaks quietly.) JOHN Sarcasm. SHERLOCK Yes. (As the press applaud, Greg walks over to Sherlock and gives him a gift-wrapped package, smiling cheerfully.) LESTRADE We all chipped in. (As Sherlock tears open the wrapping paper, Sally and Anderson grin expectantly. He pulls out a deerstalker hat.) SHERLOCK (trying to smile) Oh! FIRST REPORTER Put the hat on! SECOND REPORTER Put the hat on! LESTRADE Yeah, Sherlock, put it on! (Sherlock looks at the reporters as if he’d like to kill them. John clears his throat uncomfortably.) JOHN (quietly) Just get it over with. (Glowering at him, Sherlock shoves the wrapping paper into his hands, then unhappily puts the hat on his head. Flashbulbs go mad and everyone applauds. At the back of the room, Sally claps with sarcastic delight as Anderson, the douche, grins smugly. Sherlock smiles at the press through gritted teeth and glances at Greg as if promising him a world of pain later.) (Some time later, the “Daily Star” prints a World Exclusive on its front page ”Boffin Sherlock solves another” with the strapline ”Hero ’Tec cracks ‘unsolvable’ case”.) 221B BAKER STREET. John is sitting on the sofa reading the papers while Sherlock, wearing his blue dressing gown over his shirt and trousers, stomps across the room and throws the Daily Star onto the pile of newspapers on the coffee table. SHERLOCK (indignantly) “Boffin”. “Boffin Sherlock Holmes”. JOHN Everybody gets one. SHERLOCK One what? JOHN Tabloid nickname ‘SuBo’; ‘Nasty Nick’. Shouldn’t worry – I’ll probably get one soon. SHERLOCK Page five, column six, first sentence. (John turns to the relevant page. Sherlock goes over to the fireplace, picks up the deerstalker, holds it up and punches it angrily.) SHERLOCK Why is it always the hat photograph? JOHN (looking at the newspaper article) “Bachelor John Watson”? SHERLOCK What sort of hat is it anyway? JOHN “Bachelor”? What the hell are they implying? SHERLOCK (holding up the hat and twisting it back and forth rapidly) Is it a cap? Why has it got two fronts? JOHN (glancing up briefly) It’s a deerstalker. (He reads more of the article.) “Frequently seen in the company of bachelor John Watson…” SHERLOCK You stalk a deer with a hat? What are you gonna do – throw it? JOHN (looking at another part of the article) “…confirmed bachelor John Watson”! SHERLOCK Some sort of death frisbee? JOHN Okay, this is too much. We need to be more careful. SHERLOCK It’s got flaps…,ear flaps. It’s an ear hat, John. (He accurately skims the hat across the room to John, who doesn’t even have to lift his hand to catch it.) SHERLOCK What do you mean, “more careful”? JOHN I mean this isn’t a deerstalker now; it’s a Sherlock Holmes hat. I mean that you’re not exactly a private detective any more. (He holds his thumb and forefinger an inch apart.) You’re this far from famous. SHERLOCK Oh, it’ll pass. (He slumps down into his armchair and folds his hands in the prayer position in front of his mouth.) JOHN It’d better pass. The press will turn, Sherlock. They always turn, and they’ll turn on you. (Sherlock lowers his hands and looks more closely at John.) SHERLOCK It really bothers you. JOHN What? SHERLOCK What people say. JOHN Yes. SHERLOCK About me? I don’t understand – why would it upset you? (John holds his gaze for a moment, then looks away.) JOHN Just try to keep a low profile. Find yourself a little case this week. Stay out of the news. TOWER OF LONDON 11 : 00 Tourists are walking about in the grounds, looking around, talking to the Beefeaters, taking photographs. One tourist wearing jeans, trainers, a light grey jacket and a cap with “London” printed on it and with a union flag on the peak is aiming his camera phone around and taking pictures like all the others, but this one appears to be more interested in the security staff than anything else. The other thing that piques his interest is the sign pointing the way to the Crown Jewels. He lowers his camera, chewing nonchalantly on a piece of gum, and we see that this is none other than Jim Moriarty. At 221B, a phone in the living room trills a text alert. Sherlock is sitting at the table in the kitchen, looking into his microscope. John comes along the corridor leading from Sherlock’s bedroom with wet hair, wearing a bathrobe and towelling the back of his neck dry. JOHN It’s your phone. SHERLOCK (disinterestedly) Mm. Keeps doing that.