Page Two - ----- - - - ----'-------------THE SALEM ~ QUAK E~ March 25, 1955 I 'Brains'i Aren't 'Squares' / "He's a ·, brain' !" · His & Hers That's a commo:n expression that descril;i es someone with a little By Bobbie Wilms extra gray matter between the· ears. A "brain" is the type that does his assignments and comes up with the right answers. There's noth­ ing w1:ong with that ; there's· a lot right with it. , Since the time when handbags and pµrses were first introduced to / · And ye.t · the word "brain" see rris to set a student off from the r est the womenfolk, the males in the world have found . it necessary to com­ ~a l mo st ' makes him untouchable. , plain about their contents. A recent search of student wallets in SHS Just becau se someone gets almost all A's doesn't mean he won't revealed a truth not known before- boys' wallets are almost as clutter­ understand ~h e lat est j oke, doesn't like coke or hates track. It ' doesn't ed as feminine ,handbags! Listed below are the items usually secreted in ·mean he'$ never had an F, or looks down on kids that have them t oo wallets and purses of 'both sexes. .., · freq;uentiy. And it doesn:t mean that his life . centers around a report . F rauk Corsq-Social . Se c uri ~y Cf!rd, Marsha Coppock- lipstick, pictures; wal- card. · · p1ctures of Janet, 'Red Cross card, l'l'ews let, back seat driver 's license, scrap book "Brains" ar e really human l;>eings. They :i.nake , the most of what · clipping entitled "Dukes Buy New School filler slip, note, Sevakeen membership they have and get a ' lot out of this free education. Banner;' driver's ' license, Association card, Association ticket, key and cas:e, . And "brains" win the scholar ships ! t icket, $6.08 and tickets for junior class eraser,r.pencil, gum' wrapper, washing ~ in­ pla y. ... · / , · structions for garment, Youth . Budget Nick Cos ta -pic ~u r es , ~ta r Scout Re- envelope, ID card, Red Cross c·ar d and cor d of Progress card, basketball schedule, Youth Cant een card. ·Don't Club . Subs blood type, Community Concert ticket, Linda Tam e......::_ compa~ t, kleenex, comb, ·sprung Spring F ir st Class Scol\t card, ID card, $11 in compass, lime life saver, sugar lump By Mary Mercer Confederate . money, . Association ticket from the Hickory House, thr ee tubes of By Ye Editor and Certificate of Participation in the lipstick, paper clip, pictures, navy wal­ Ever place yourself in someone Br eak out t he tracll: team's underwear. Boy Scouts of America Nat ional Jambor ee. let, drive.r's permit, Association ticket, else's shoes ? We all have at some Throw off trouble; throw .off care! Skip Yeager-Mexican $1 bill, $2 in telephone call ·slip, turkey raffle ' ticket time 01" ot her, whether as a charac­ Go to the Country Club; see the beaver . USA money, name cards, dental . appoint- Red Cross card, corridor; pass, admittanc~ ter in a play or in just a flight of the 'y et a case of real spring fever. ment r eminder, receipt for Association slip and American l,egion Quaker Band Go play hookey; take off school. ticket,, pictures, Red Cross card, S@c ial drawing ticket. imagination. Next time you have a Bi1t cyou'll wind up in detentiorr, fo~ l , Security caI' d, ID , ca_r d, Frank Corso's Janet J)elvichio-p'en, wallet, question- substitute teacher; t ry putting your- fool, fool! name, ca l ~ n <!l ar and Association ' ticket. naire, comb, gum wrapper, lipstick, glass self in her .place. ' case, glasses, pictures and a basketball Chances are she was called early schedule. that morning with the request th;:tt · Horticuhure, Horrqr Are Open .Fields; ( ) ...... () ...... () ...... ():m..()...... ()...... {) ...... () ...... () ....() ...... (J... ()41119> ( )-() ...... ()._. she take over the classes of Mr. I e , Smith who is ill. Arriving ·breathless JU St but on . time, she is a~costed by a Berserk Se·niors c ·an't Choose Vocations roomful·· of new faces and names and a routine with which· she is · _~ Y Gloria Colananni. fication needed is a green thumb. This lor not acquainted. "-Docto.r, l~wyer , Indian c h1e~ . as may be obtained by dipping the thumb The bell rings and her day's class graduation t ime appr oaches, an mev1table in a bucket of green paint. Pea-green is h d 1 h beg T · be. sure questi<Jn invades the thoughts of high quite the rage this season, although light­ lun SC e 1.1; e_. as un. 0 ' ·school seniors throughout the world, complected people may prefer forest --(l -() - ) ......()-(J-( ) ....( )-()-1)...... ()-( ) ...... () ......(i ...... , ,~ a . majority of her s tuden~s. were " What shall I be?" Pondering the ans­ green. I' (Editor's note : Contributions for this column w ill kmd and courteous and w1llmg to / wer 1to this puzzling question introduces_ ;be gr eatly appreciat ed. J ust be sure to g iYe the One may g o a step further and dip his source of t he joke. ) help, but it was that minority that a huge crop of problems. · One of the · whole arm ill the .Paint; 'He may then pro­ most prominent of t hese is the question When the ' seniors complained so bit­ had the at titude, " Let's see how cure a job as a monster in a technicolor much'; we ·can get away with" that of per sonal .qualif\cations. terly about their poor grades in English, horror fr1ovie. If cour se, one will 'need Mr . Brautigam explained his sliding scale -. gave her gray hairs. T~e followmg are . a few of the quali- more than a pea:.. green arm for • t his s ystem ·of' grading.· Bob Brantingham . Let's ·be more considerate next '~cations necessary m the major voca- occupation. He could, perhaps, do h is queried, "How Jong's it been since this . h 1 b t"t t W 'll hons. .t une · w~ ave a ~u s I u e. e F'irst on the list is horticult ure. A other arm 1 n chartreuse, his feet in sliqing scale. was lubricated?'" feel better , she will have a mor~ horticulturist is Dne •who . is skilled in P.Urple and .black a nd he might subtract ... * ·< pleasant day and t he honor of SHS · horticultur e. Since horticulture ' is the art . an ear ·or add a nose. Bob also came up with this one : will be preserved. of cultivating a garden, the · only quali- What's. big at the bottom, come.;:; to a Speaking of two-nosed people, this is peak and has ear s? a valuable asset in t he perfume testing A mountain. business. In t his pr.ofession, obviously, the A mountain doesn't have ·ears. more noses the better. Haven't you ev,er heard of mountain- eers? 'The· can-opener engineer, has a very ::: * * interesting job. This chap designs can openers that will sharpen knives, pop WHATZIS? champagne bottles, dean the wallpaper and feed the cat. Of course, to be !mc­ By Mary Mercer cessful in this field, one must have an A bear climbing a active imagination. (It would also help Goat's Milk, Anyone? instrument r aised high' during the en­ if the can openers opened cans.) tree. Has Mr. Callahan taken on a side­ tire concert. Danny Weber , Jerry Wo l ford ~ line to earn mad money? Just ask M.'r . 0. a nd Di ck Beall ~ ere winners. This introduces another pro f es s ion~ for two or three quarts. In Case You Didn't Know . that of opening cans. Restaurants which Present Per fect . Jeri J ackson put her welcome mat feature home cooking usually employ out for seniors a nd graduates last week­ people in this field. Sharp, tapered in­ . , a re l\'Iitzie Theiss and Kenny Schwe­ A man smoking a .. bach, Carol Schaefer a1id Charlie Probert end. Plenty of food was on hand, which cisors are an asset, since can openers are who have recently 1been the . victims of made this open house a huge success. not always forthcoming. cigarette in a Cupid's arrow. This is another evidence . , Dick Coppock takes first ·prize for Supplying dentists with gold for their that Spring is upon us. being the most wide-eyed boy Saturday fi llings can. be most profitable. In t his dark room. ' Rushing t he· Season? evening at a surprise birthday party in occupation one needs only a gold · mine or Swimming season hasn't officially open­ his ' honor. Guests enjoyed a pleasant a private lease on Fort Knox. ed, but Jerry Menichelli was . forced to evening ·of dancing, eating and mer ry­ Jerry Myers has a definition of a walkie t ake a dip when he fell off a' rock from making. Dick's mother made a hit with One final bit of advice to all seniors talkie: Two women taking a · stroll. where he was fishing. all the kids by getting into the · swing •st ill po11-dering: If you feel t-he problem * * * A'iid a fi nal note fr.om that pea-pickin' Did You Ever Think of t hings along with the gang. is driving you crazy, maybe you belong . Jan Harris. ha,d a n impromptu "jam Ford man : Kindness is the oil that ma_kes When the Hearse Goes By in my_ profession. the world run real smooth. Dorothy, Max Ehrhart's "paddy-wagon," session" at her home Sunday afterno·on.