TREATING TRAUMA FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL WEEK 1: GROUP WELCOME AND INTRODUCTION Betrayal trauma is a condition that literally parallels PTSD (post- traumatic stress disorder). PTSD can occur anytime the mind attempts to process a traumatic event that surpasses the customary or natural human experience. When trust and safety are broken, the betrayed spouse naturally calls into question the bond they have with their partner, and the reaction is manifested in characteristics aligned with PTSD; namely depression, anxiety, flashbacks, recurrent nightmares, and avoidance of reminders of the event. OBJECTIVE The objectives of this week’s group are to get to know the others in your group, help you understand yourself and what your trauma looks like, and review the treatment model for addressing trauma from sexual betrayal. COMPLETE: ‣ Welcome to Group ‣ Review a Model to Address Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Healing © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 1 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN WELCOME TO GROUP Where are you from? What is something a lot of people don’t know about you? What is the most fun thing you’ve ever done? If you had an hour to yourself, what would you do? What do you hope to accomplish in this group? © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 2 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN A MODEL TO ADDRESS SEXUAL BETRAYAL: THE ESSENTIAL TOOLS FOR HEALING CORE SOLUTION #1: CORE SOLUTION #2: CORE SOLUTION #3: CORE SOLUTION SEEK GENUINE INTERNAL CREATING A #4: UNDERSTANDING EXPLORATION: POSITIVE SUPPORT STRENGTHENING AND CREATE A RESOLVE NETWORK WHILE YOUR INNER SELF SAFE AND DIFFICULT REDUCING TRUSTING EMOTIONS AND NEGATIVE ENVIRONMENT HURTFUL BELIEFS INTERACTIONS COMPONENT Model Explore new and Boundaries Self-trust #1 Compassion old wounds (Key Life Events Inventory) COMPONENT Understand client/ Identify triggers Establish close Self-care #2 help them feel felt connections COMPONENT Provide education Find core beliefs Build a support Mindfulness/Yoga #3 and clear about self and team guidance others COMPONENT Help client listen Process painful Inner circle Resiliency #4 to their inner memories and (identify who’s voice difficult emotions where) COMPONENT Establish working Treat PTSD Understand Create genuine #5 goals to help symptoms spiritual happiness client feel hope connections © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 3 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN TREATING TRAUMA FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL WEEK 2: EXPLORING NEW AND OLD WOUNDS Memories are the key“ not to the past, but to the future. CORRIE ”TEN BOOM OBJECTIVE The objective this week is to learn more of your story and background. Through a deep understanding of early life traumas, you will learn how your current relationship triggers add to your trauma. Our goal this week is that you leave with a deeper understanding about self, see the link between past and present, and gain a deeper appreciation for the feelings you are having. OOCW READ: ‣ Chapter One: The Creation of Post Traumatic Stress ‣ Chapter Two: Assessing Trauma from Sexual Betrayal ‣ Chapter Three: Adding Trauma to Trauma ‣ Chapter Four: Stuck in Fight, Flight or Freeze WATCH (LINK IS CASE SENSITIVE): ‣ Why Do I Feel like I’m Going Crazy? bit.ly/ADDOBT ‣ What, This is Normal? bit.ly/ADDOBT © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 4 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN COMPLETE: ‣ Key Life Events Timeline KEY LIFE EVENTS TIMELINE All of us have key life events that alter our lives for good or bad. In this assignment, your task is to identify the significant events that have changed your life. Take into account big events such as the death of a loved one, moving, your first sexual experiences, etc. Other things you might include: parents fighting or divorcing, a parent with mental health challenges or substance abuse problems, being bullied on a playground, difficult school or team experiences. Some of these events may have also happened in your adult years (e.g. Health problems, job loss, etc.). Don’t think too much about it, just write down as many experiences as you can think of for the next few minutes. Once you are done, place your experience on the timeline. Once you are done, place your experiences on the timeline. © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 5 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN EVENT AGE © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 6 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN Now, place each of the events above on the timeline below: © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 7 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN To finish, respond to the following prompt here or in your journal: Now that you have identified key life events from the past, what sticks out to you the most? Identify any common themes throughout the timeline as well as the events that had the biggest impact on your life. © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 8 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN TREATING TRAUMA FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL WEEK 3: DISCOVERY, THE PAINFUL BEGINNING When we share our stories, what it does “is it opens up our hearts for other people to share their stories. And it gives us the sense that we are not alone on this journey. JANINE SHEPHERD” OBJECTIVE The objective of this week is to understand how discovery influenced you and how your initial response may be part of unlocking your trauma. We will help you recognize the physical manifestations of your trauma in order to begin working on overcoming the symptoms. Our goal is that you leave with an understanding of the importance of how Discovery Day (D-Day) has influenced you. In addition, we want you to understand what healthy disclosures and unhealthy disclosures can do for your relationship. OOCW READ: ‣ Chapter Five: Discovery, the Painful Beginning WATCH (LINK IS CASE SENSITIVE): ‣ How to Make Sense of Your Trauma bit.ly/ADDOBT COMPLETE: ‣ Appendix B: Sharing Your Story ‣ Appendix C: Support Resources for Couples Disclosures © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 9 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN TREATING TRAUMA FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL WEEK 4: THE SECRET TO HEALING — IT STARTS WITH SAFETY When we share our stories,“ what it does is it opens up our hearts for other people to share their stories. And it gives us the sense that we are not alone on this journey. JANINE SHEPHERD” OBJECTIVE If you don’t feel safe, overcoming trauma will be difficult. In this week’s group we will guide you in learning about the safety of your current environment. We hope that you leave this group with an increased understanding of the importance of safety in your healing. We also want you to begin establishing a plan so that you can create more safety in your life. OOCW READ: ‣ Chapter Six: The Secret to Healing — It Starts with Safety WATCH: ‣ No video this week! COMPLETE: ‣ Page 84: List of Support Checklist ‣ Your Relationship with Others ‣ Finding a Safe, Calm Space © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 10 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS OVERVIEW In this lesson we will help you identify how open you are with others and help you create more meaningful relationships. INSTRUCTIONS On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being “I already do this” and 1 being “I don’t do this at all,” how would you score yourself in these five areas? 1. Openness, 2. Honesty, 3. Integrity, 4. Faith & Hope, 5. Understanding of Love. Once you have the score written, create a game plan to improve each area. STEP #1 On a scale of 1 - 10, rate the following: EVENT RATE FROM 1-10 (10 = ALREADY DO IT) OPENNESS HONESTY INTEGRITY FAITH & HOPE UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE STEP #2 How am I going to improve in the areas that need improvement? © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 11 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN STEP #3 What did you learn? © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 12 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN FINDING A SAFE, CALM PLACE Only in a safe environment“ is it adaptive and appropriate to simultaneously inhibit defense systems and exhibit positive social engagement behavior. DR. STEPHEN” PORGES INSTRUCTIONS Answer the following questions: Am I safe? © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 13 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN Where am I safe? If I have a safe place, can I inhibit my defense systems and exhibit positive social engagement behavior? © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 14 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN TREATING TRAUMA FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL WEEK 5: GETTING UNSTUCK. LEARN TO TAKE ACTION. One starts an action“ simply because one must do something. T.S. ”ELLIOT OBJECTIVE In this week we will empower you to begin taking action so that you so don't stay in fight, flight, or freeze.. Our goal for this week is that you leave feeling confident in your ability to take control of your healing. OOCW READ: ‣ Chapter Seven: Getting Unstuck. Learn to take action. LISTEN (LINK IS CASE SENSITIVE): ‣ NEW LINK: Radio Interview of Dr. LeDoux bit.ly/DRLEDOUX COMPLETE: ‣ Appendix F: Questions to Prepare for Change ‣ Page 98: Answer questions found in Section Three, Prepare to Take Action. © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 15 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN TREATING TRAUMA FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL WEEK 6: SEXUAL BETRAYAL AND SEXUAL TRAUMA Boundaries are not something“ you “set on” another person. Boundaries are about yourself. HENRY CLOUD AND” JOHN TOWNSEND OBJECTIVE In this week we will address if the trauma you are experiencing is potentially life threatening. We explore the difficult topic of sexual trauma within the relationship and the possibility of health related problems due to your spouse's behaviors (e.g. STD's, threatened violence). Our goal is to help you establish boundaries to help you feel more secure. After this class we want you to feel empowered so that you don't stay in the fight, flight, or freeze mode. OOCW READ: ‣ Chapter Eight: Sexual Betrayal and Sexual Trauma WATCH (LINK IS CASE SENSITIVE): ‣ Is this life threatening? bit.ly/ADDOBT COMPLETE: ‣ Creating a Boundary © 2017, Addo Recovery, LLC 16 of 33 FEEL CONNECTED AGAIN CREATING A BOUNDARY OVERVIEW Setting boundaries is an essential skill in life, especially for people striving for recovery.