VOL. 13—No. 2. 10 Cents a Copy. Copyrighted 1890, by Texas Siftings Pub. Co. NEW YORK AND LONDON, MAY 10, 1890. $4 per year in Advance. \\ • qky ADDING INSULT TO INJURY, LITTLE WILLIE (WHO HAS BEEN REPULSED)—WHERE CAN I FIND SINCERITY ? MISS BORED—WHY, IN THE. DICTIONARY, OF COURSE! TEXAS siv"ININcls BISMARCK'S SUCCESSOR. and under his arm, and even catches occasional glimpses of it as the towel is being employed. He fidgets, and General Von Caprivi, the new President of the squirms, and mutters under his breath, if he don't growl Prussian Cabinet, in his initial speech to the Deputies, aloud : " Miss that engagement, sure." "Don't be so Fintered at the Lost office at New York, as Second Claes Mai 1l attar said he considered it a most favorable dispensation of particular." " Does it take all day to shave a man ?" Now, if the clock wasn't there he couldn't do that, and ALEX. E. SWEET, Providence that at the momenta Prince Bismarck's re- Editors. tirement " our august young monarch should be there it doesn't surprise me to learn that the barbers of New A. MINER GRISWOLD, c to fill the gap.' As it was " our august young mon- York have resolved to banish the clock during business arch " himself who hastened Bismarck's retirement, I can hours. They think that life by a barber's chair will be J. ARMOY KNOX, ,Manager. imagine that even the phlegmatic Prussian Deputies had less vexatious, A. A. B E R G E R, Ass't Mgr. difficulty in repressing a smile at this declaration. - t MIN WON'T STAY RESCUED. AN ACTOR OUT OF PLACE. NEW YORK, MAY 10, 1890. As a general thing, when a man has been rescued, The other night, at the Star Theatre, New York, he ought, in common gratitude to his rescuer, to remain TEXAS SIFTINGS can be obtained wholesale at all wholesz..e mews while W. H. Crane was doing his best as The Senator, rescued ; but Emin Past,). seems determined to prove Depots and at xo cents a copy on all News Stands. he was surprised to see his old partner, Stuart Robson, TEXAS SIFTINGS will be supplied to Newsdealers by any of the an exception to the rule. Stanley, who has been carry- wholesale News Companies. step upon the stage across the footlights and con- ing on a general exploring business in Africa for a TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. xtulate him upon his success. Had it been Joe Emmet number of years, in 'which he has been quite prosper- Any part of the United 'States or Canada, one year, postage paid, $4 00 ) had done this no one would have been astonished, ous, as we understand, hearing that Emin was in Foreign countries 75c. extra . bu Robson has some reputation for sobriety now, what- trouble went to his relief. He did this in the most All subscriptions must be paid in advance. eve): may have been his habits in earlier days. The disinterested way, and, in fact, at no small loss to him- Send money by express money order, post-office order or registered S.:Dator didn't look overmuch pleased, and the audience self. His regular business was neglected for a long letter to TEXAS SIFTINGS PUBLISHING CO., wasn't tickled to death. It is to be hoped that the ex- time. Orders upon orders for new and peculiar dis- 47 John Street, New York. ample won't be copied generally. We don't want to coveries that Stanley alone could make accumulated at see little Barrett stalking on to the stage at an un- his office, but they couldn't be filled, because no one The English edition of Texas Siftings is printed and 'Published expected place to congratulate Booth on the way in weekly In London, at the office of the Texas Siftings Publishing but Stanley could fill them, and he couldn't because his Co., 4 East Harding Street. which he is doing up Hamlet, and while we like Billy whole time was taken up in searching for Emin. His Florence and cannot see too much of him as a general long search was at length rewarded. He found his thing, we don't care to see him turn up in the most Persons desiring to have MSS. returned or coin- man, but to his astonishment Emin seemed averse to thrilling part of Rip Van Winkle, and reaching out his munleations answered, must inclose a stamped en- being rescued. Stanley is somewhat reticent upon the hand exclaim: " Jefferson, old boy, put it there ; you're velope with their address thereon. subject, but we infer that the Pasha made some resist- doing it bully !" Eds. Texas Siftings. ance, but Stanley having the strongest party the tin, grateful wretch was rescued iii IN " A. MINER KEY." tpire bf it. All along the rettirh March Einin Watched an oppor- PREVENTS iltS—a poor tailor. tunity to slip away froin his TABLE-TALK—PaSS the butter. rescuers and go babk, no matter how much he might go back WANAMAKER'S Great Display—cheek. On Stanley. A watch had to be PRACTICES fetich arts—the chiropodist. kept over him, and it was with the greatest difficulty that he FLUSH times began with Eve's first blush. was brought even to the bor- NEWMARKETS are chiefly found in old ones. ders of civilization. He found CORALS are brought up in a reef-form school. fault with everything—said the cooking was inferior to what it A ROUNDELAY—police interference at a prize-fight. was in Central Africa, and A GOOD printer can always tell how the case stands. swore that the liquor was abom- inable. In fact, he proved that A FACETIOUS toper calls his stomach a sample-room. when he fell out of a window I never had an early flame after a banquet they gave him To whom I would attention pay, to celebrate his release. And But what another fellow came And coolly stole my girl away ! now that Stanley has gone to England the news comes that THE Duke of Newcastle is going to sell his old the ungrateful Emin Pasha has castle. gone back to be rescued ttgaih: WHEN dentists go into partnership they ought to pull 13ut Stanley Wbh't do it, that's together. tertaih, IT was a sarcophagus maker who said it is never too NO ROPE 'OR NEW YORK. late tomb end. Maimmimaii= To cure an actor of ranting, rant back—Similia It is plain that hayseed legis- similibus curantur. lation for New York City is a failure. The country legislator THE State of trade—any State ready to trade off a' may be a very good and exem- Presidential election. plary man at home, all by him- How a locomotive engineer can make his own head- self, but when he gets to Albany light—by drinking too much. and there becomes an aggrega- IF Mrs. Burnett's new play, Nixie, fails to draw it tion of hayseeds, he is easily should be re-christened Nixie Blunt. viA corrupted. He learns to scent a job from afar, and is imme- THE Georgia Railroad must be wofully behind the diately seized with what Shaks- times; it never had a mortgage on it. peare calls an " itching palm." AMERICAN girls are not fond of domestic life. It is He can be bought considerably ruling their own domestics that they aspire to. cheaper than his brother legisla- tor from the city, owing to the IN THE PARK. " Oh, would I were a bird,'' he sang difference in house rent and the Throughout the live-long day ; BESS1E—You're a funny bird, Mr. Policeman. And passers-by in current slang cost of provisions, I suppose. Said, " So you are—a jay !" POLICEMAN—A bird, is it, ye take me fer? Do Ui look loike a burd, But how New York City can be now ? governed in the best interest of NEW YORKERS ought to be satisfied with any ticket at BESSIE—No, you don't look a bit like a bird, but nurse said you were its citizens is one of the most the next municipal election that would "sweep the a sparrow policeman, and sparrows are birds, you know. difficult problems of the hour. city." Should the World offer a prize COOLER counsel prevailed—when they put the culprit TO BANISH THE CLOCK. for the solution it would probably find that every in- in the "cooler" instead of lynching him, as at first pro- dividual had a special plan of his own. And so I pre- posed. One of the greatest annoyances. a New York barber sume things will go on in the same old way. The has to contend against is the manner in which the PATTI refused $1,000 for an essay on the voice—said streets will always be filthy and constantly torn up. she hadn't time to write it. Foolish girl ; doesn't she customer he's shaving regards the clock. When elected Saloons will continue to break the Sunday closing law, know that celebrities are not expected to write the to take the chair he says : " Quarter to three now. Got except when there is a spasmodic raid, of which they essays they sign ? an important engagement at three. Can you go over will be duly informed by the police where they are not my face in a quarter of an hour ?" In nine cases out of behind in their assessments; and the elevated roads WHEN the news became known that there had been ten it is a difficult face to go over in double that time, will keep on packing human beings into their cars like started "A Society of Young Girls of Pure Character but the barber is anxious to please, so he undertakes hogs.