By Martin A. Follose © Copyright 2013, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155. All rights to this play—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given. These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and all nations of the United Kingdom. COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear: 1. The full name of the play 2. The full name of the playwright 3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado” THE GROOM HAS COLD FEET BY MARTIN A. FOLLOSE CAST OF CHARACTERS (In Order of Appearance) # of lines MABEL MAYFIELD ......................works at the local mercantile, 50 which Albert Webster owns SHERIFF TICKLE ........................sheriff of Pine Grove 249 MILTON ....................................not-so-bright new appointed 105 deputy of the town HARLEY STUBER .......................poor farmer looking for a wife, 47 any wife DELLA TISDALE .........................town gossip 40 BEVERLY HALL ..........................another 38 CAROLINE PICKENS ...................another 33 ALBERT WEBSTER .....................groom; a very hated man who 62 happens to own most of the businesses in town VIRGIL BUCKLEY .......................poor farmer; Albert’s best man 65 SARAH TICKLE ..........................sheriff’s daughter and sidekick 126 DARLEEN STEEP........................former girlfriend of the groom; 50 saloon girl KAYLA MAY BLOSSOM ...............reluctant bride 27 GLADYS CLARK .........................Kayla May’s best friend and 57 maid of honor HAZEL BLOSSOM ......................mother of the bride 37 SAM .........................................mysterious stranger 15 EXTRAS ....................................as desired for townspeople and additional wedding guests SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT ONE: One spring morning in Pine Grove in the 1890s. ACT TWO: The next day. ACT THREE: Moments later. ii For preview only SETTING Time: 1890s. Place: Main Street of Pine Grove. SET DESCRIPTION Three building fronts frame out Main Street. The sheriff’s office is STAGE LEFT. The mercantile is UP CENTER and has items outside to make it look like a general store. These can include barrels, grain sacks, tools, lanterns, etc. The mercantile’s sign reads, “Albert’s Mercantile.” A saloon with swinging doors and an “Albert’s Saloon” sign is STAGE RIGHT. Each of these buildings creates an EXIT through its doorway. The three buildings are separated to create pathways UP RIGHT and UP LEFT for additional EXITS leading to other parts of town and out of town. In front of STAGE RIGHT there are stairs for actors who are coming to Albert’s room during ACT TWO. To create this room, the saloon front may open or turn to reveal the room. If no movable wall is possible, this scene can be played with only a chair placed STAGE RIGHT. iii For preview only SET DESIGN iv NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS THE GROOM HAS COLD FEET ACT ONE 1 AT RISE: MABEL is outside the mercantile working to open the store by setting out merchandise, etc. The SHERIFF ENTERS LEFT from the sheriff’s office and crosses over to the mercantile. EXTRAS as OTHER TOWNSPEOPLE may come and go as desired. (See PRODUCTION 5 NOTES.) SHERIFF: Morning, Mabel. MABEL: Morning, Sheriff. You off on your rounds? SHERIFF: Nah, I have to go over to the livery stable. Seems as though Cyrus thinks the rats are eating too much of his grain, and he 10 wants me to arrest them. MABEL: (Chuckles.) Never a dull moment in Pine Grove. SHERIFF: Ain’t that the truth. Mabel. (Tips his hat.) MABEL: Sheriff. (SHERIFF EXITS UP LEFT.) MILTON: (ENTERS UP RIGHT.) Morning, Mabel. 15 MABEL: Morning, Milton. What brings you to town? MILTON: I’m looking for a job. MABEL: A job? MILTON: My daddy tells me I’m good for nothing and that no one in their right mind would give me a job. I told him I knows I could get 20 a job, and I’d be a right good worker. He said that there is more of a chance that pigs would fly than I get me a job. I’m here to prove him wrong. So, can I get a job from you, Mabel? MABEL: Me? Give you a job? Oh, well, ah… I don’t… Milton, I just can’t give you a job. 25 MILTON: Why not? MABEL: Why not? (Searches for an answer.) Business at the store is real slow, and there just isn’t enough work to hire someone right now. MILTON: Shucks! You know anyone who might want to hire me? 30 MABEL: Hire you? Well… Why don’t you try Cyrus at the livery stable? I reckon he might need someone to keep out the rats. MILTON: I’ll do that. Thanks, Mabel. MABEL: Anytime, Milton. (MILTON EXITS UP LEFT. She is relieved and goes back to work.) 35 HARLEY: (ENTERS UP RIGHT.) Morning, Mabel. MABEL: Morning, Harley. What can I do for you? HARLEY: I’m looking for a wife for me. 1 For preview only 1 MABEL: A wife? Harley, I’m sorry, but I don’t sell any of those in the mercantile. Why you looking for a wife? HARLEY: Ever since Ma and Pa died, I’ve been alone out there on my farm. I thought I would pick me up a wife here in town today. 5 MABEL: But you can’t just pick up a wife. You need to court her. HARLEY: Court her? MABEL: (Starts to dream as she talks, holds on to HARLEY’S arm and snuggles up to him.) Yes, you know, you need to meet someone and then take her on Sunday rides, maybe a picnic on a sunny 10 day, take her to a hoedown, dance a little. (Dances with HARLEY, who is rather reluctant. Suddenly realizes that she is holding on to HARLEY.) Oh, sorry, Harley! Don’t know what came over me. (Straightens her dress, hair, etc.) Anyway, you have to get to know a lady before you ask her to be your wife. 15 HARLEY: I ain’t got no time for that. MABEL: That’s how things are. You need to sweep a lady off her feet. HARLEY: Sweep her off her feet! I ain’t even got a broom. MABEL: I can sell you a broom, Harley, but not a wife. HARLEY: Shucks! I was figuring on joining in on the wedding that’s 20 coming up. MABEL: There’s a wedding coming up? HARLEY: Yep! I heard about it just today. Well, I think I will just keep looking. Maybe I can find me a wife before noon. Thanks, Mabel. (EXITS UP LEFT.) 25 MABEL: (Excited. To herself.) There’s gonna be a wedding! I do love weddings. (DELLA ENTERS UP RIGHT. MABEL sees her and rushes over.) Della! Della! DELLA: Land sakes! Is there a fire somewhere? MABEL: (Excited.) No! 30 DELLA: Someone rob the bank? MABEL: No! DELLA: Mrs. Cratchet finally put her husband six feet under? MABEL: No! Something better. DELLA: Something better? 35 MABEL: (So excited she can barely talk.) Yes! DELLA: (Excited to get the latest gossip.) Well? Don’t just stand there, tell me. Quick! MABEL: I heard it from a very reliable source, who heard it from… Well, I don’t rightly know where they heard it, but— 40 DELLA: Who cares?! Out with it. 2 For preview only 1 MABEL: (Looks around cautiously.) There’s going to be a wedding. DELLA: A wedding! Oh, I do love a wedding. MABEL: We have got so much to do. (BEVERLY ENTERS UP LEFT. DELLA rushes over to her. At the same time, MABEL gets caught up 5 in her planning, not even noticing BEVERLY or that DELLA is now next to BEVERLY. Overlapping with next many lines, yet softer.) Why, we have to plan the decorations and the location. It has to be some place romantic and beautiful. Maybe out at the Parker place alongside the creek that cuts through their property. There’s a nice 10 grove of pine trees that would be just lovely. We could put the altar right next to the creek and set up tables in the shade. There’s always a cool breeze in the grove, and it’s a big enough space for our needs. But if the Parkers say no, we could have it just outside of town where the little bridge goes over the gully near the grove. It 15 doesn’t have the shade that the Parker place has, but it might be a fine place for a wedding. We could set the altar right at the end of the bridge, and family and friends could stand next to the grove. But, then again, if they don’t mind traveling a ways, we could have it on the hilltop about a mile or so out of town. You can see the 20 whole town and valley from up there. It would be a beautiful spot. Maybe have an evening wedding so we can see the sunset with the couple standing on the top the hill.