Gloria Anzaldua Gloria Anzaldua is a.lso the co-editor of This Bridge Called My Back Borderlands fafrontera The New Mestiza aunt lute books SAN FRANCISCO Copyright ©1987 by Gloria Anzaldua Acknowledgements All rights reserved To you who walked with me upon my path and who held out a hand when I stumbled; First Edition to YOll who brushed past me at crossroads never ~o touch me 20-19-18-17-16 again; to you whom I never chanced to meet but who inhabit Aunt Lu~e Book Company borderlands similar to mine; p.D. Box 410687 San Francisco, CA 94141 to you for whom the borderlands is unknown territory; "Holy Relics" first appeared in C()ndition~ Six, 1980. to Kit Quan, for .feeding me and listening to me ram and "Cervicide" first appeared in L,ahyris, A Feminist AmJournal, Vol. 4,#11, rave; Winter 1983. to Melani,e Kaye/Kamrowitz, .for believing in m~ and being "En el nomhre de tOMS las madres que han perdido JUS hijoJ en laguerra" first ther,e for me; appeared in IKON: Creativity and Ch.ange,. Second Series,. #4, 1985,. to Joan Pinkvoss, my editor and publisher, midwi~e extraor­ dinaire, whose understanding., caring, and batanced mixture of Cover and Text Design: Pamela Wilson Design Studio gentle prodding and pressure not only helped me bring this "baby" to term, but helped to create it; these images and words Cover An: Pamela Wilson are for you. Typesetting: Grace Harwood and Comp:[ype,. Fon Bragg, CA To the production staff at Spinsters/ Auot Lute who bore Production: Cindy Cleary Lorraine Grassano the pressure of impossible deadlines well: Martha Davis whose Martha Davis Ambrosia Marvin invaluable and excellent copy-editing has made the material Debra DeBondt Papusa Molina more readable and cohesive; Debra DeBondt who worked long Rosana Francescato Sukey Wilder and hard to keep the book Dn schedule; Pam Wilson and Graoe Amelia Gonzalez Kathleen Wilkinson Harwood.;. Printed in the U.S.A. to Frances Doughty, Juanita Ramos, Judith Waterman, Irena Klepfisz, Randy Conner,Jan,et Aalphs, Mirtha N. Quinta­ Libl9lry o~ 'Congress CatalogiJlilg-ill-Publica.tion Data nales, Mandy Covey and EIana Dyk,ewomon for their support and A02:a1dua, Glllli.a. ,encouragement, as well as f,eedback, Dn various pieces; (0 my Borderlands : the new mestiza = La frontera I Gloria Anzaldua - 1st eel. - San Francisco : Aunt. Lute, c1987. friends, swdents and cDHeagues in the ADP program in Vermont 2031', : po,!" : 22 em. Col]ege, Women's Voices Writing Workshop, VCSC, and writers Englis.h .and Spanish, Some poems tr:atnslat,ed from Sp,anisbi. who participated in my writing workshops in NYC,. New Haven, ISBN 1·819%0·12·5 !pbk,l' : $9.'95 San Francisco, Berkeley, Oakland, and Austin,. Texas, in particu­ lar: Pearl Olson, Pau.la Ross, Marcy Alancraig, Maya Valv,erde, 1. Mexrucan~American Boroc'r Region- Poetry. 2. Mexfucan-American Ariban,. Tirsa Quinones, Beth Brant, Chrystos, Elva pere.z­ women - Poetry. 3,. Me::dc:an-American Horde[ Region - Civilizatio:JIIJ. I. Title. U. Title: Frontera. Trevino, Victoria Rosales, Christian McEwen, Roz Calvert, Nina PS3551.N95B6 1987 811'.54-dcl9 87·60780 Newington, and Linda Smuckler;. AACRZ MARC to Chela Sandoval, Rosa-Maria ViUafane-Sosolak, Osa Preface Hidalgo de la Riva, Lisa Carim, Sue Schwiek, Viviana Varela, Cindy Cleary, Papusa Molina and Rusty Barcelo; The actual physical bordedand that I'm dealing wi th in this book to Lisa Levin, Shelley Savren,. Lisa Albrecht, Mary Pollock, is the Texas-U.S Southwest/Mexican border. The psychological Lea AreUano, Christine Weiland, Louise Rocha, Leon Fishman, borderlands, the sexual borderlands and the spiritual borderlands Claude Talley; are not particular to the Southwest. In fact, the Borderlands are to my family: my mother, Amalia; my sister, Hilda; my physicaHy present wherever two or more cultures edge each brothers,. Urbano (Nune) and Oscar (Carito);. my sisters-in-law, other, where peopIe of differem races occupy the same territory, Janie and Sara; my niece, Missy, and my nephew, Urbie; Tio Pete where under, lower, middle and upper classes touch, where the space between two individuals shrinks with intimacy. y Tia Minga;. and especially to the memory of my father,. Urbano, and my I am a border woman.. I grew up between I."WO cultures, the grandmothers, Eloisa (Locha) and Ramona; Mexican (with a heavy Indian influence) and the Anglo (as a member of a colonized people in our own territory). I have been gracias .a todi.tos ustedes. straddling that teja,r-Mexican border, .and others, all my life. h's not.a comfortable territory to liv,e in,. this place of contradictions. Hatred, anger and exploitation are the prominent features of this THIS BOOK landscape. However, there have be·en compensations for this mestiza,. is dedicated a todos mex.icanos and certain joys. Living on borders and in margins., keeping intact on both sides of the border. one's shifting and multiple identity and integrity, is like trying to swim ina new element, an "alien" element. There is an exhilara­ tiolJi in being a participant in the funherevolution of humankind, G.E.A. in being "worked" on .. 1 have the sense thatoertain "Iaculdes"­ ,not just in me but in every border resident,. colored or non­ colored-l'I;nd dormant areas of consciousness are beingacti­ v.ated, awakened. Strange, huh? And y,es, the "alien" element has become familiar-never comfortable, not with society's clamor to uphold the old,. to rejoin the flock, to go with the herd. No, nm comfortable but home. This book, then, speaks of my existence. My preoccupations with the inner life of the Self, and with the struggle of that Self amidst adversity and violation; with the confluence of primordial images; with the unique positionings consciousness takes at these confluent streams; and with my almost instinctive urge to communicate, to speak, to write about life on the borders, life in the shadows. Books saved my sanity,. knowledge opened the locked places in me and taught me first how to survive and then how to soar. LA madre naturaleza succored me, allowed me to grow roots that anchored me to the earth .. My love of images-mesquit,e flower- ing,. the wind,. Eheca.tl, whispering its secret knowledge, the fleeting images of the so.ul in famasy-and words, my passion for the daily struggle to render them concrete in the world and on paper, to Jr.end~ctj1emflesh,. keeps me alive .. The switching of "codes" in this book from English to Castillian Spanish to the North Mexican dialect to Tex-Mex to a sprinkling of Nahuatl to a mixture of aU of these, reflects my language, a new language-the language of the Borderlands. There, at the juncture of cultures, languages cross-poHinate and are revitalized; they die and are bom. Pr,esemly this inram language.,. this bastard language,. Chicano Spanish, is not Borderlands approved by any society. But we Chicanos no longer feel that we need to. beg entrance, that we need always to make the first overture-lQ translate to Anglos, Mexicans and Latinos, apology bhlrting out of our mouths with every step. To.day we ask to be met halfway. This book is our invitation to. you-from the new La Frontera mestizas. Contients A TRAVESANDO FRONTERAS I CROSSING BORDERS 1. The Homeland,. Azdan I El atro Mexico, page 1 El destie1'1'o I The Lost Land El Cfflzar del mojado I IHega] Crossing 2. MovimientoJ de rebeldia y laJ cult.u'J':M q.ue traicionan, p.age 15 The Strength of My RebeHion Cultural Tyranny Half and Half Fear of Going Horne: Homophobia Intimate Terrorism: Life in the Borderlands The Wounding of the india-Mestiza 3. Entering Into the Serpent, page 25 Ella tiene JU tona Coatlalopeuh, She Who Has Dominion Over Serpents For Waging War Is My Cosmic Duty Sueno con JerpienteJ The Presences Lafacultad 4. La herencia de Coatlicue I The Coatlicue State, page 41 EnfrentamientoJ can el alma El secreta terrible y la rajadur.a Nopal de castilla The Coatlicue State The Coatlicue State Is A Prelude co Crossing That Wh ich Abides 5. How to Tame a Wild Tongue, p.age 53 Overcoming the Tradition of SHence Oye como ladra: e/ lenguaje de la frontera Chicano Spanish Linguistic Terrorism "Vistas," corridos, y comMas: My Native Tongue Si Ie preguntas a mi mama, "ique eres?" 6. Tlmi,. Tlapatli: the Path of the Red and Black Ink, page 65 Invoking Art Ni cuicani: I, the Singer The S'hamanic State W firing is a Sensuous Act IV. Cihuatlyotl, Woman Alone Something To Do With the Dark Holy Rdics,. page 154 7.. La concienc;a de III, mestiza: Towards aNew En €II nombre de todas las m.adres, page 160 Consciousness, page 77 Letting Go, page 164 Una lucha de ironteras / A StruggIe of Borders I Had To Go Down, page 167 A Tolerance for Ambiguity Cagada abinna, quiero saber, page 170 that dark shi ning thing, page 171 La encrucijada I The Crossroads Elcamino de III, mestiza I The Mestiza Way Cihua.tlyott, Woman Alone, page 173 Que nO' se nos alvide los hombres V. Animas Somos una gente La curandera,. page 176 By Your True Faces We Will Know YOIl mujer cacto, p.age 18.0 El dill, de III, Chicana Cuyamaca, page 182 El retarno My Black Ange.tas, page 184 Notes Creature of Darkness, p.age 186 Antigua,. mi diosa, page 188 UN A GITADO VIENTO I EHECATL, THE WIND VI. EI Retorno I. Mas ante.s en los r:anchos Arriba mi gente,. page 192 White-wing Season, page 1.02 T 0 li~~ in the Bon:ledands means you, page 194 Gervicide, p.age 1.04 Canc~an .de III, diosa de la noch.e, page 196 horse, p.age 106 Nose raje, chican.ita, page 2.00 Immaculate, Inviolate: Como Ella, page 108 Don't Give In,.