0) >N •>* >» V tA >4) ip 3 # 7 S i l f i <TJ -O — -* -Ç ? 5 5 m 2 c -Q çh S00^ o c 5 ±5 5)0 Ì jö s0 o* JO a> ^ m o qcpc ^ ^ û û : 3 2 ? s 2 Æ-srf U 13 § - <d £ û S- Í 1 a: o ¿ 8 I ! | l 5 “* 5 < k‘ £ 15Q- -5 * - S Q p fQ02 t ; * ‘ ^ to r 3 P I t i _ a> a> 111"? S>5£ I “ £ Í35 5 E $ 5 * . 8 2. i f l f (Q J- <J Sæ * > o û 3 2 $ ? a “ f s | § I t 2 a;! ■"•s* 8 Ä -g 5 „ c2 >s —_5 QÛ o C S ? « l x: <s i- r> w- V SqUJ £ E ,/>_ - - Ô o £ b to Ï .tí (/) (/) > T) 3 T ) 5l Í LU CD LU < 2T u _ • oc • o o »- ►-en­ eo * •—• UJ IKZ <* o »- ifi f — I f ) <—• -* a K o < to —• t E D ’S NOTE: We know you’ve all been wondering who "w e" are So here we are. And why not9 W'e’ve got feelings, too. Look with pleasure and read some stories from our "censored” files 8 8 March. 1974 Lawrentian Lawrentian AOn Wednesday, b November d u7, innocent c boy t cut i down o in n the ! Joe Bruce, co-editor of the flower of youth - the lord sure Lawrentian, was abducted. He works in mysterious ways.’’ has not been seen since dispite Interjected John Nissen, living on massive police and volunteer Larry’s farm, “He was such a searches throughout the area. far-out dude!” Yet, not all We Are Appalled Joe was last seen wearing light students felt such sorrow and loss corduroy slacks, a light brown upon Joe’s departure. Said Joe’s We are appalled at the apathetic nature of the jacket and a red and gold scarf, brother John Bruce, “Oh well, ‘‘academically stimulated” student body at LU. We feel it is lie was smoking a cigarette easy come, easy go. Now I get a ¡¡jjjAlj- ‘‘high time” to say finally and categorically that the student (Camel filters) and was last seen single when I’m home”. around the area of Main Hall. While the tune was decidedly body should get “their shit together” . We’ve been Editors of While publicly officials were the Lawrentian for over one term now, and we’ve, frankly, had keeping their hopes up for his pessimistic, the police are still hunting down leads. It was it. We’ve been sweating our asses off down here in this hole for safe return, an increasingly rumored that they were looking a long time now - and getting nothing from you guys. Of pessimistic attitude was taken by course, the reason for your blase attitude is readily apparent. most officials in private con­ for three young men who were Half the student body is stoned out of their collective gourds by versation; said Cal Spice, seen with Joe earlier in the Outagamie County sheriff, evening. Cal Spice believed that twelve o’clock noon, and the other half is either drunk, it was a Birthday party prank speeding or generally too strung out to walk to Downer, let “we’re trying to keep our hopes up, but I ’m jus’ afraid that boy’s which turned sour He believes alone support anything - or anybody. that they were on drugs at the OK you contemporary minds and aesthetes, here it comes, dead - sheeitt! He’s been gone for nigh four weeks now . .” His time: “I dunno, it’s jus’ a theory. the great all American hard sell - BUY, BUY, BUY!! Why voice trailed off and his face was But I think they was high on should you buy the Lawrence Review? Hah-good question. But grim. Police suspect foul play. drugs or sum pin’. Christ, that we have a damn good answer. Because. If you don’t buy an Joe was known to Lawrence damned mareehuany will do issue, the Review will go the sad route of other fine students as the friendly, jovial strange things to people. Those publications of the past like the Ariel, Tropos and a dozen other Government Major who always three kids were preet strange magazines for “contemporary minds and aesthetes.” Whyhad a friendly word for anyone he lookin’.” publish another magazine while so many others have failed'7? met during his walks around The police gave the following discription of the events. Joe was Another damn good question for which we have no answer. We campus. Influential in many student affairs, his absence has in the Lawrentian office, working don’t know why anyone would want to work hard to publish late when three men burst in and another magazine for you jerks out there gamboling on the been sharply felt by those who knew and loved him well. A dragged him bodily from his Green - in the nude - in the winter. God knows why, but they did tearful Sue Jansky sobbed, “ How desk. As he was being dragged - and now they’re in trouble, and now we have to bail them out - can I ever carry along the through the door, he was heard to God why us??? So buy the Review - now. We can improve your Lawrentian without him ?” Dean call for “reporters and mind twelve ways with our Schneider-Tjossem type models of Crockett, reached in Brattleboro photographers.’’ His frantic the perfect LU research paper - written in one strung-out Vt., exclaimed “Holy Jesus! - appeals were ignored by the speed freaked winter week-end. Some of them even make words can not express the sorrow conscientous workers who had a sense. We can get you in on the ground floor I feel in my own heart. A young. Wednesday evening dead-line to meet. Some perceptive reporters did, however, get a good look at his abductors. Innocence Abroad The description was printed in EI,LIE’S He flew in from Morrocco one So anyway, as I was saying he the Lawrentian, but because no day - on a smile and a dream. We flies in here one evening - one read that issue, the abductors CORNER really don’t know how he did it, radiant, eyes twinkling, girls are still at large. In fact, no one WE RENT or, in fact, how he still does it. We W f’re looking for any and all swooning and our bourbon- knew of Joe’s disappearance don’t know, we just don’t know. handicraft people who are guzzling machismo editor looking until he failed to show up for final Yes indeed, Chris McCarthy’s interested in displaying and whimsical. Yes, we thought, exams and the Government quite a man . quite a man. I ALL NEW selling their goods. must be quite a man . Even if professors began to wonder why mean just think - imagine Anything from macrame to he can’t write a damn word the normally conscientous Joe someone who fancies himself a silverwork to leatherwork will outside of some oil-gushed had not attended classes for the cross between Henry Kissinger, be considered. Arabic, he’d sure be fine for past four weeks. Finally, rumors Harrison Salisbury, Omar Sharif FORDS! ( all Elite at public relations. Yes, we thought began to float around the campus and Bill Buckley . quite a man; 725-1475 or 7:i»-2%8 he’d do just fine . Just fine. and the police were called in. yes, quite a man . Well, our first impression was LOW AS Joe’s parents were contacted in the correct impression Norwood, Mass. and they flew out surprisingly enough - the guy to Appleton to help in the search couldn’t write a damn thing . *6 Day, Asked if they would pay a ransom not a damn thing. (if a note were found) for their T M ile eldest child, Mrs. Bruce ex­ claimed, “Of course we’ll pay the ’'Requirements;” ransom - is the Pope Catholic'’ Interjected his father, “Hell no! ?\ I You must hr* The kid’s twenty-one; he’s on his ? V,ilid (Inver s license Donnelly Next own now” . 3 Cash deposit Just as the authorities were “Whoh!’ .” So speaks mild about to give up hope a ransom mannered F’aul Donnelly, our note was found in the form of next editor-in-chief He walks curiously arranged peas on a tray nervously around the room, and in Colman Food Center The turning around to sm ile message demanded that $250 and sheepishly at Bruce, he says, four bus tickets to Oshkosh be LES STUMPF FORO ’Boy, I really don’t know .1 sent via Campus Mail to Sage just don’t know.” 3030 W College Ave Cottage. The peas were sent to Appleton During the last two terms, the LUCC office and the Com /3 3 6h44 Donnelly has written numerous mittee on Committees will hold editorials which we have not been appropriation hearings starting able to print next week Curious Exister Now Tells All by Gary J. Richardson the position of reporter to When I walk through the office Assistant Editorial Editor. That CO door, usually later than the rest was the title devised especially Lawrentian Lawrentian of the hard working people who for me. It gave me flexibility, fester about, I am usually un­ stature, a LAWRENTIAN noticed, other than the usual honorarium, and most important, noise that accompanies my en­ got my name in the editor section 8 8 March. 1974 trance into any other room with of the mast. more than 3 people.