Flesh-eating goldfi sh found in the WVU to convert Mountainlair Coaching hiatus possible aft er Rec Center pond bathrooms into a nightclub Huggins nets world-record trout p. 3 p. 5 p. 8 ALL CONTENT IS FOR APRIL FOOLS’ DAY AND IS SATIRICAL. @DailyAthenaeum Th e Daily Athenaeum dailyathenaeum [email protected] WVU’s Independent Student Newspaper THURSDAY APRIL 1, 2021 www.thedaonline.com Cannabis dispensary to open in Mountainlair ijuana in the bathroom. professors to come teach and grow ` BY HARRY JOHNSON “Th e fact that WVU almost kicked here in Morgantown,” Johnson said. CANNABIS SPECIALIST me out of the residence hall in the “Th ere’s a very intense litmus test fall but then creates a major for can- where each candidate must roll a nabis in the spring is absurd. Either joint, and if it’s not up to our stan- Purple ReLeaf Cannabis Co. way, my record better be expunged.” dards, they don’t get hired,” he said. will debut Tuesday, April 20, in the Purple ReLeaf will be a complete Johnson did say that he is in dis- Mountainlair. dispensary housing fl ower, edibles cussion with Dale Denton and Saul Th e cannabis dispensary will re- such as cookies, chocolates and Silver, two noted cannabis experts, place Blue Tomato in the food court candy, plus oil and wax. for guidance. Johnson says he would and will be located next to Chick-fi l-A. Th e store will open with its feature be “thrilled” if the two joined the Purple ReLeaf is part of a new ini- strains, Pepperoni Roll OG Kush, a team because of their unique twist tiative coming to WVU, a cannabis hybrid strain that leaves the con- on a popular strain. studies program. It will be one of only sumer with feelings of relaxation and “Th ey grow the best Pineapple Ex- a few other colleges to off er a degree happiness, and Mountaineer Poison, press I’ve ever had. I don’t know what in cannabis along with schools like a sativa known for its sweet smell and they do with it, but it’s phenomenal,” Northern Michigan University, Oak- energetic, uplifting eff ects. Johnson said. sterdam University and Clover Lead Th e University conducted a thor- Th e University hopes that this new University, according to Forbes. ough search for cannabis experts program will diversify the economy Ben Stone is a freshman biology around the country to lead the pro- and bring a plethora of new people, student who says he plans to change gram. Mac Johnson and Devon Over- especially young people, to the state. his major next fall. street have been chosen to lead the “Our hope with this new program the legal cannabis industry created economy. “I’m really looking forward to get- program and run the store, a spokes- is that we can continue to grow West 211,000 full-time jobs in the United Purple ReLeaf will be made avail- ting into the program. I’m going to person for the University said over Virginia’s economy and boost tour- States in 2019. As more states like able to students with dining dollars, learn so much about how to grow and email. ism. Imagine how much more fun a Virginia, New Jersey and New York Mountie Bounty, meal swipes and create my own business,” he said. Th ey will each teach a number of trip to Cooper’s Rock would be with a continue to pass recreational mari- cash or card. Further, positions on However, he hopes the University classes and help WVU recruit more pre-rolled from Purple ReLeaf,” Over- juana legislation, West Virginia will the staff will be made available this will expunge his student conduct re- experts from around the country. street said. quickly fall behind on an innovative fall through the work-study program. cord as he has been caught multiple “We’re actively searching for more According to a report from Leafl y, times in Boreman Hall smoking mar- way to boost tourism and grow the New PRT track set to take students up, down frat row installments. students avoid running into the the inclusion of frat row on the new “My legs feel like jell-o, and I always ` BY KENT DORFMAN “Th is is the best decision this uni- many police cars that are consis- project. lose my JUUL during the hike uphill. EXORCISER versity has ever made,” Spiker said. tently staked out up and down the “I think it’s a great way for the frats With the new track, we can make the “Do you know how many times I’ve road. With this, students will be eas- to fi nally get some recognition,” he most out of our power hour and eas- twisted my ankle on that steep, glass ily able to transport themselves, as said. “WVU is one of the top party ily leave when the fi ghts break out.” After much outcry from students, covered hill? Seriously, I almost well as any other drugs or alcohol, to schools in the country, and for the Th e PRT will also now be equipped the PRT track will now be expanding didn’t make it back down those steps ensure they safely arrive at the dim- University to fi nally recognize that by with bottles of water, pretzels, LED up frat row to give students easier ac- last week.” ly-lit, slightly-damp frat basements expanding the track, it really gets the lights and puke buckets to minimize cess to their weekend rallies. For many, the track will encour- of WVU. bros excited for another darty.” weekend blackouts. Students can Th e new PRT track is set to take age students to get lit faster without “We’re hoping that this does won- Many agree that students should also press the emergency button, students up and down High Street, having to deal with as many negative ders with our recruiting of fi rst-year have an easier time getting to and which will immediately initiate the and it will also loop back at the top side eff ects like falling down the steps students,” a University administrator from the frats to help keep the party playing of “Country Roads.” of frat row. of frat row or losing a friend along who requested anonymity said. scene alive. However, the track is currently un- Helga Spiker, a second-year mul- the way. An unnamed senior fraternity “By the time I get up to the frats, der construction and will not actu- tidisciplinary studies student, ex- Th e new PRT track will also help member shared his gratitude for I can barely breathe,” Spiker said. ally be up and running until this fall. pressed her excitement for the new 2 ALL CONTENT IS FOR APRIL FOOLS’ DAY AND IS SATIRICAL. THURSDAY APRIL 1, 2021 WEEKEND WEATHER FORECAST SOCIAL MEDIA MOMENTS dailyathenaeum THURSDAY 4/1 EXPECT NIGHT OF HEAVY DRINKING Staff AND POOR DECISIONS TO COME. WVU’s INDEPENDENT HIGH 96° LOW 69° STUDENT NEWSPAPER APRIL FOOLS’ FRIDAY 4/2 HEADLINES HEAVY CLOUDS EXPECTED THROUGHOUT DOWNTOWN. HIGH YES, VERY° LOW NOT YET° Cannabis dispensary to open in Mountainlair on 4/20 SATURDAY 4/3 New PRT track set to take SUNSHINE FOLLOWED BY NO students up, down frat row PROFESSOR EMAIL RESPONSES. HIGH 54° LOW 58° Flesh-eating goldfi sh found in Rec Center pond Buses to terrorize CRIME REPORT Morgantown roads into the future MARCH 30 MARCH 31 2:14 a.m. | Active 2:58 p.m. | Impounded Mountainlair bathrooms Mountainlair. Area 53. converting to nightclub Student stuck in bush Back ticket tow. retrieving Puff Bar. MARCH 31 Dorm life already too MARCH 30 1:28 p.m. | ARREST ‘incredible’ for an upgrade 3:29 a.m. | Active Mountainlair. Mon. River. Woman slips on Whippet. Man falls in Mon. River. Engineering students debate MARCH 31 Acid burns on legs. 2:40 p.m. | ARREST fi ring giant death laser at MARCH 30 Boreman North. liberal arts buildings 1:28 p.m. | Resolved RA growing mushrooms in Evansdale Crossing. closet. Intent to sell. Th e best places to cry on Picnic tables stolen. MARCH 31 campus MARCH 30 4:39 p.m. | ARREST Armstrong Hall. 3:33 p.m. | Active Coaching hiatus possible aft er Mountainlair. Professor snorts cocaine Huggins nets world-record Mouse tail found in coff ee. off MATH 124 textbook. trout Th e DA is student-run and editorially Huggy Bear Barbecue Joint independent from West Virginia University. coming to Morgantown All content decisions in the DA are made by NCAA drops Houston, adds students without prior review by the WVU to Final Four as a University. compensation for Holgorsen era Brit Stratford brings ‘lad’ fad THE DAILY ATHENAEUM to men’s soccer 284 Prospect Street Morgantown, WV 26506 304-293-4141 Advertising Opportunities Did you know the Contact our advertising team at 304-293-4141 [email protected] DA is editorially Independent from Breaking News [email protected] the University? Corrections [email protected] The Daily Athenaeum strives for accuracy and fairness in the reporting of news. If a report is wrong or misleading a request for a correction or a clarifi cation may be made. THURSDAY APRIL 1, 2021 APRIL FOOLS’ 3 ALL CONTENT IS FOR APRIL FOOLS’ DAY AND IS SATIRICAL. Flesh-eating goldfi sh found in Rec Center pond IRWIN STEVENS on campus informing them of the incident. RESIDENT AQUATIC EXPERT Students are advised not to feed the mutant fi sh, as many In a turn of events, four have been spotted tossing WVU students had a harsh their dining hall meals into the wake up call last week.