fl )' ` 507 0 019914 J .S .N .1 ROORAM 1 R6VISSD SCRIPT kk alS ~~no~Cttc~ A MRICAN TOBACCO CCMPANY . LUCKY STRIXE TO JACK BFNNY PRCCRAM SEPTE2mER 26, 1954 CBS 4 :00 - 4 :3C PM YRr (Txenecribed - Sept . 2, 1954) flTYl01 0019915 SET #1 . RRG; AMBRICAN TOBACCO COMPANY 'THg JACK BENNY PRCGRAM' #1 SEPTIsNIDER 26, 1954 7 :OC-7 :3C PM EST SUNWY OPENING CIX'945HCIAL WIISON : THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM . transcribed and presented by UJCKY STRIICE . the cigarette that's toasted to taste better! (TRANSCRIBED) If you want better taste from your cig-a-xette, DOLISNS : WITH FULL Lucky Strike is the brand to get! ORGH . B .G .) IT'S TOASTID to give you the best taste yet . It's the toasted (CIAP . CIAP, C1AP) cig-a-rette They take fine tobacco, it's light tobacco, it's mild tobacco, too . Then IT'S TOASTED, yes, IT'S TOASTED, because the toasting brings the flavor right through . So, to get better taste from your cig-a-rette, Iuckv Strike is the brand to get! IT'S TOASTED to give you tl^a best taste yet, It's the toasted (CIAP . .CLAP, CLAP) cig-a-xrotte : WILSON : This is Don Wilson . I'd like you to listen to just the last part of that song once again . TRANSCRIBED) COLLINS : It's the toasted (CIAP . .CAP, CLAP) cig-a-rette : WITH FULL ORCH . B .G .) RT ATH010019916 1 THE JACK B:.NNY PROGRAM SET #1 -2- SEPTEMBER 26, 1954 WIISON : Thst's one important reason a Lucky tastes (CONT'D) better . It's toasted : The fine tobacco that goes into everyLUolq is toasted to taste better . "IT'S TOASTED" -- the famous Iucky Strike process -- brings Luckies - fine tobacco to its peak of flavor -- tones up this light, mild, naturally good-tasting tobacco to make it taste even better . Cleaner, fresher, smoother . That's why we say this : if you want real enioyment from your cigarette . make it Iuckv Strike . Optional : TRANSCRIBED : If you want .better taste from your cig-a-rette, COId,iNS : WITH FULL Luckv Strike is the brand to get! ORCH . B .O .) IT'S TOASTED to give you the best taste yet . It's the toasted (CIAP . .CIAP, CIAP) cig-a-rette . RT 0 AT}401 0 19917 1 (Sept . 26th(ShwT STe)ns . Sept . 2, 19 54 ) -1- (FIRST ROUTINE) (AFTER COM14gI2CIAL, MUSIC UP AND DONN) DON : THE LUCKY STRIKS PROGRAM, STARRING JACK BFNNY• .WITH MARY LIVINGSTONE, ROCB84TER, DENNIS DAY, BOB CROSBY, AND "7COURS TRULYi DON WILSON . (APPLAUSE . .MUSIC UP AND DOWN) DON : LADIES AND GEMPIEMEQ . .WHILS SEYPFDYBER IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MONTHS OF THE YEAR, TRERE IS A CERTAIN SADNESS ABOUT IT . .YES, MANY 8AD THINGS OCCUR AT THIS TIME OF YEAR . .CHILDREN HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL . .VACATIONS ARE OVER AND PEOPLE HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK . .THE FLOWIItS NILP, TH6 LEAVFS DIE AND JACK BENNY COMES BACK ON THE AIR . JACK: Hu.n DON : AND HERE HE IS . .JACK BENNY (APPLAUSE) JACK: Thank you, thank you, thank you . .Hello again, this is Jaok Benny talking . .end Don, I want to discuss that introduction with you . _ DON : I thought you would, Jack . .I ' m glad you liked it . all, I spent the entire summer working on JACK: \Oh . .you made that introduction u urself . .and it took you Sumaer? DON : Yes, it did, c . .You see, I have to work by myself . .I haven't four wr s like you have . l CB 0 HTX 1 0019918 I JACK: Then for heavens sakes, .what have you got in y ~ st ? . ( .I could have svorn th le~e you put on'a bathing s saw t-oQ lit ne of a typewriter . DON : Now wait e mi , Jac . ia is the first program of the sees , and I don't like your ing off with ,jokes . a6out my size . ~._-----~. JACK : 1 I'm glad you brought up the aub~ect of inaults, Don .On our final show of the season last May you introduced me with an insult . .end now the first shox of the new season you do the same thing . DON : I'm sorry, Jack . JACK : You should be . .And before dropping the subject, let me remind you of the lyrics of that beautiful tune written about this particular month . DON : The September Song? JACK : Yes . remember, Don . ."It's a long, long time . .from May to December" . .and it seems even longer when yodr.`11At ailioribw6ir eat:•r[ , .So watch it, Slenderella Boy . .Now this is a new season so we'll let bygones bedf® -- BOB : N1, Jeck . .Hi, Don . JACKS Bob Bob or aby . (APPLAUSB) - JACK: Bob, you look wonderful . BOB :03eSt+SO do you,~ J~ack . .,aFnd you, too, Don . DCN~~Thanks~T T1 me`;Twhere did you MWn your vacation, 86b? BCB : '.1e11 Don, I didn't have wW real vacation, . .You see, my television . wwgmm on C .B .S. _ ~. I Y-si~it's on fivarM fR xeek,'i`-w s kept very busy . CB RTH 0 1 0019919 -3- JACK : Gee, that's awful . BCB : YsaSNbut it did have its compensations . .2 was pa].d every week . JACK : So you were paid every wee~k . .What good is that? . .A man rv-ecA .-, needs a little relaxatloK . .Money isn't everything . You ought to realize that . BOB : Ch, usherjLs.qD.o~ ROBIN : Yes, sir . BOB : Can you tell me w':nre Mr . Benny's broadcasting from, b¢J IWNn the wrong studio . JACK : iio, no, Bob . .you're not in the wrong studlo . .It's just that I have a new writer and he hasn't grasped my c'naxacter yet . .That's all . BCB :W 4X' i W'nen he gets his first check, he will . JACK : I guess so, . they all do sooner or later . DON : Gee, I feel sorry for you, Bob . .,working all summer . c~¢a~ BOB ; GP., it wasn't *WM bad, Don .,. .2 took every weok-end ofP . Qc.. ~ Why, last week-end I had a wonderful time with my brother Bing . JACK : W:at did you do? BOB : 'riell, we did a little mountain cllmbing . Then we went i n to the woods and un ad . .then we enjoyed some wonderful fishing in a couple of stres.ms and lakes? JACK : Wrore were you----Yellowstone Paric? BOB : No, in Bing's front yard . JACK : Now wait a minute, Bob . .I know Bing hae a big house and grounds, but it's not .yhat big . Aren't you exaggerating a little? BA RTSSO 1 0019920 1 BOB : No, I'm not, Jack . .In fact, it's an even money bet that ~`. Bing's place becomes a state before Hawaii . JACK : Goe ry may have to go to Wsshington as a Senator, WA ~ guess you ' re right, Bob . you can have a nice vacation ,just on week-endsf¢nlL tJ.~a BOB : Oh sure ., .It ' s amazing ~what you can do iry~two days,••,Why, a couple of weeks agoA m` leFt _ e~yand I went way up to the High Sierras, JACK : You took-ftwnk Remley with you? BOB : Yea em* a very unfortunat~ nR ~p ned ~ were ~ climbing around a narrow cliff Bemley slipped and fe11 about thirty feet to a small ledge, and no one ' could reach h1m . JACK : Gosh, that's terrlble . .,What happenedlb~7, BOB : Well, finally one of those Saint Bernard dogs with the brsndy around its neck got to him . JACK : Well, thank goodness . .where ' s Remley now? BOB : ~)~t1The last I saw of him, ne and the dog were walking off axm in am . JACK : Well, Remley always was an animal Sover . You should see the tender way he treats an old crow .,,It's touching . ..Why I remember once when iV -- DENMS~'o~~jlello, Mr . Benny . .hello, everybody . JACK : ~AHry . LL:NNIS ; (APPLAUSE) DENNIS : Gee, it's good to see ail of you again . DON : ~r~ood seeing ou, Dennie . 18a 0 00 fiiX 1 19921 1 -5- DOB : I sure missed you, kid . ! JACK : Yeah . .You know, even though I hate to see our vacations end, there's something nice about all of us getting ~~ together again . D6NNIShat l s right, Mr . Benny . .Here we are starting a new series . JACK ; Yes, sir . DENNIS : Are you looking forward to a good season? JACK : I sure am . DENNIS : So am I . JACK: That's good . DENNIS : In fact, this will be the best season I ever bad . JACK : Why? I16NNI S~~}~ qui tSJ your show . JACK : ou Ie qeu~ ng the show? DENNIS : Uh huh . JACK : Don, get me a chair . .I know this is going to lead into something and I want to be comfortable . (SOUND : CHAIR MOVED) ~ JACK : There we are . .Now Dannis .tiwhy a you quitting my show? DENNIS :~ I t hink a man who is married and has nine children should be in business for himself . JACK : Dennis . Dennis . Look at me . DENNIS : Yes, sir . JACK : Denrls . .do you have nine childrsn? DENNIS : No . JACK : Are you married? DENNIS ; No . 13A Rrx 01 0019922 -6- JACK : Then why would you say you're leaving my show because you ' re ruarried and have nine children? DENNIS : I did that for your sake . JACK : My sake? IENNIS : I didn't want people to know I'm quitting because of the lousy salary you pay me . JACK : W'iBt? D2NNIS : I grasped your character twelve years ago . JACK : Now, wait a mi-nu a. How can you say I psy you a bad ~ -a.dWj•? .