Claremont Colleges Scholarship @ Claremont CGU Theses & Dissertations CGU Student Scholarship 2011 The Experiences of Legally Married Same-Sex Couples in California Erin Christine Falvey Claremont Graduate University Recommended Citation Falvey, Erin Christine, "The Experiences of Legally Married Same-Sex Couples in California" (2011). CGU Theses & Dissertations. Paper 14. http://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgu_etd/14 DOI: 10.5642/cguetd/14 This Open Access Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the CGU Student Scholarship at Scholarship @ Claremont. It has been accepted for inclusion in CGU Theses & Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Scholarship @ Claremont. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The Experiences of Legally Married Same-Sex Couples in California By Erin C. Falvey A dissertation submitted to the Faculty of Claremont Graduate University and San Diego State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Graduate Faculties of Education Claremont, California San Diego, California 2011 Approved by the Dissertation Chairs Dr. Philip Dreyer Dr. Karen Cadiero-Kaplan Claremont Graduate University San Diego State University Copyright Erin C. Falvey, 2011 All Rights Reserved. APPROVAL OF THE DISSERTATION COMMITTEE This dissertation has been duly read, reviewed, and critiqued by the Committee listed below, which hereby approves the manuscript of Erin C. Falvey as fulfilling the scope and quality requirements for meriting the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Graduate Faculties of Education. Dr. Karen Cadiero-Kaplan, Co-Chair San Diego State University Professor and Department Chair Policy Studies in Language and Cross Cultural Education Dr. Philip Dreyer, Co-Chair Claremont Graduate University Professor School of Educational Studies Dr. Rafaela Santa Cruz, Member San Diego State University Director of the SDSU/CGU Joint Ph.D. Program in Education School of Teacher Education Dr. Robert Dawidoff, Member Claremont Graduate University Professor and Department Chair School of Arts and Humanities-History Abstract The Experiences of Legally Married Same-Sex Couples in California by Erin C. Falvey Claremont Graduate University and San Diego State University: 2011 With the aim of increasing practitioner competence, this dissertation provides marriage and family therapists and mental health service providers with insight into the experiences of legally married same-sex couples. Specifically, the inquiry’s objective was to elicit narratives of strength and agency from these couples who navigated the oppressive circumstances of an anti-gay amendment campaign situated within the debate over the extension of marriage rights to same-sex couples. Fourteen couples were interviewed in order to respond to the dissertation’s overriding question: How do the lesbian and gay couples and families who are among those who were legally married in California before the passage of Proposition 8 narrate their experiences of their marriages? Through portraiture (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997), a method of inquiry situated within a postmodern, social constructionist framework, a narrative was produced which evolved through five emergent themes: 1) Our Commitments Have Rich Histories—the symbolic and legal ways in which these couples commemorated and brought definition to their commitments, in the absence of a nationally-sanctioned and collectively-recognized state of legal marriage; 2) Not a Simple Matter: The Complexities of Language Choice—their contextual language choices, which reflected the absence of representative and collectively-recognized language options for their relationships after their legal marriages; 3) The Battle Metaphor—the couples’ experiences of California’s political debate over the extension of marriage rights to same-sex couples; 4) Support Shaped Lived Experiences—the impact of support from friends, family, and community; and lastly, 5) Legal Marriage Shaped Individual, Relational, and Social Identities— individual, relational and social shifts that occurred for the couples through the experience of being legally married. A follow-up focus group further validated the theme Support Shaped Lived Experiences, and examined more deeply the tensions that occurred when important persons were silent about and/or did not recognize the legitimacy of the couples' legal marriages, and/or the discriminatory context in which their legal marriages were situated. In addition to its contribution of the experiences of legally married same- sex couples to the family therapy literature, the dissertation concludes with important implications for affirmative therapeutic practice, research, education, training, advocacy, and social policy. DEDICATION In memory of my father, Coach Falvey. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This dissertation is the culmination of an eight-year journey. I want to acknowledge the many people who were instrumental in its creation and influential to me along the way. First, and foremost, I would like to thank my partner Deyna, whose unwavering support was an incredible asset both emotionally and practically through the process of this dissertation. I am so thankful to her and to her family for all that they have done. Deyna, I deeply appreciate your presence in my life. To my oldest and dearest friends, Leslie, Mailee, and Katinka, your support and love over nearly the last two decades has had a profound impact on my life. My sincerest appreciation also goes to my friends and colleagues Jessica and Jennine who have stuck by me and supported me through the ups and downs I’ve encountered during our friendships and particularly throughout the course of my studies and this dissertation. Thanks to my family, who supported and encouraged my studies from the outset. Particular thanks go to my mother for her support of both my personal and professional endeavors, and to my sister Lauren who was always willing to review a draft or lend her thoughts on my work. I am also grateful to my Aunt Barb, whose enthusiasm for the project as she contributed to its editing helped me to see it through. I really loved having the opportunity to work with her. I would also like to acknowledge those who have mentored me along the way, especially Jan, Karen, and Lourdes. Their guidance and support have been tremendously meaningful to me. I’m grateful to my committee members who all lent their insight and expertise to the creation of this dissertation, particularly Karen whose unwavering support and willingness to navigate this process with me contributed so heavily to this vii project's completion. I include here, too, a thank you from all of the students in the Joint Doc program who benefitted from Ceci’s assistance and care. Ceci, you were so incredibly helpful to me as I navigated my program of study. I would also like to thank San Diego's LGBT/Hillcrest community, who helped me spread the word about this project. Their kind support and recognition of the importance of this dissertation kept me energized from its outset to its completion. Finally, I would like to thank the 14 couples who participated in the study. I am deeply appreciative of the time we spent together. Your words are so powerful, and I can only hope that I have done them justice. viii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ……………………………………………………….. vii Chapter I. ORIENTATION ………………………………………………………………… 1 Introduction ……………………………………………………………….. 1 Objective of the Dissertation ……………………………………………… 2 Political Context of the Dissertation ……………………………………… 3 Personal Context of the Dissertation ……………………………………… 5 Social Context of the Dissertation ………………………………………… 8 Rationale and Purpose of the Dissertation ………………………………… 16 Audience of the Dissertation …………………………………………….... 18 Definition of Relevant Terms ……………………………………………... 19 Organization of the Dissertation ………………………………………...... 22 II. LITERATURE REVIEW ……………………………………………………… 23 Introduction ……………………………………………………………….. 23 The Extension of Marriage Rights to Same-Sex Couples: Key Historical Precedents ……………………………………………………… 24 Marriage Rights and the Gay and Lesbian Rights Movement ……. 25 Timeline of the Legal and Political Battles for the Legal Recognition of Same-Sex Couples ………………………………... 28 The Extension of Marriage Rights to Same-Sex Couples in California ……………………………………………………….. 34 The Effects of Stigma and Discrimination on the Mental Heath and Well-being of Lesbians and Gay Men ………………………………... 40 The Social Effects of Discriminatory Politics and Legal Battles …. 41 The Effects of Discriminatory Politics and Legal Battles on the Mental Health and Well-being of Lesbians and Gay Men ………... 43 ix Chapter Page II. (continued) Stress Factors for Lesbians and Gay Men in the Context of Discriminatory Politics and Legal Battles ………………………… 44 The Resilience Strategies of Lesbians and Gay Men in the Context of Discriminatory Politics and Legal Battles …………….. 48 The Relationship between Marriage and Mental Health ………………….. 52 The Effects of Legal Recognition on the Experiences of Same-Sex Couples in Legally Recognized Relationships ………… 54 Summary and Conclusions ………………………………………………... 63 III. METHODOLOGY ……………………………………………………………. 66 Introduction ……………………………………………………………….. 66 Theoretical and Philosophical Framework Guiding Methodological Decisions 67 I. Theoretical Frame: Philosophical Orientation …………………... 68 II. Methodology Frame: Research Approach ……………………... 68 III. Inquiry Processes ……………………………………………… 69 IV: Data Analysis and Reporting