Praise for Love ’Em or Lose ’Em “As an organization, we embraced the Love ’Em or Lose ’Em concepts, and our first year engagement scores were over six points higher than similar organizations in our industry and increased over our prior year score by sixteen points. Love ’Em or Lose ’Em is working for us.” —Michael Svagdis, President, Morrison Healthcare Food Services “A refreshing and effective approach to engaging the heads and hearts of those who define your brand and competitive advantage—employees! Kaye and Jordan-Evans continue to keep us armed with the most relevant and practical approaches to enlivening people.” —Curt Coffman, coauthor of First, Break All the Rules and Follow This Path “To be a great team, you need outstanding players. The authors show you how to engage your outstanding players and keep them on your team for a long time.” —Mike Krzyzewski, Head Coach, Duke University Men’s Basketball “Talent matters. Few dispute this truth. But keeping great talent continues to be a chal- lenge for many companies. This marvelous book offers numerous specific tools and hundreds of examples of how to care for people. Love ’Em or Lose ’Em is the best treatise on retain- ing talent available.” —Dave Ulrich, Professor, Ross School of Business, University of Michigan and coauthor of Leadership Brand: Developing Customer-Focused Leaders to Drive Performance and Build Lasting Value “Love ’Em or Lose ’Em is the unsurpassed source of practical, do-it-now retention tactics. When executives tell me that holding onto employees is a top concern, I steer them imme- diately to Beverly and Sharon’s guide. Build a more engaging workplace fast with the new edition of this classic!” —Doug Hardy, GM/Editor, Monster Careers and coauthor of the Monster Careers series and Finding Keepers: The Monster Guide to Hiring and Holding the World’s Best Employees “Love ’Em or Lose ’Em converts some of the perceived soft skills of leadership into an archetype for engaging people in powerful, retention-focused conversations. I’ve seen the genuine value of this book—the training course and especially the tools emerge as ‘can’t miss’ for helping leaders build trust and enable performance.” —Greg Mlodzinski, Leadership & Professional Development Consultant, The Hartford 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution “This book was an instant classic because it is so smart and so easy to use. It is cutting edge and timeless at the same time. It is the book on employee retention and probably always will be. If you manage people, you should buy it and memorize it, and then keep your copy on your desk as a constant reminder. If you manage managers, buy a copy for every single one of them.” —Bruce Tulgan, author of It’s Okay to Be the Boss and Managing Generation X “Not only will this book help you attract and retain the best and most motivated employ- ees, it will also help you create and lead engaged employees. This book is a must-read for aspiring leaders and those looking for better results in the workplace.” —D. Michael Abrashoff, author of It’s Your Ship and Get Your Ship Together “In the war for talent, Synopsys has chosen Love ’Em or Lose ’Em as our prime field manual. As practical as it is insightful and thorough, this book has given our managers the principles and practices they need to retain our best and brightest people.” —Aart J. de Geus, Chairman and CEO, Synopsys “It makes no difference what business you are in (corporate/government/military), people are the single most important part of an organization. Understanding what makes peo- ple of different generations tick and why they react differently than expected to certain circumstances is absolutely critical to keeping them. This book will do just that for you! It is a must-read for all leaders and managers who want to see their dollars reinvested in their business instead of spending tons on recruiting and training a fluctuating workforce.” —Bill Pickavance, Vice President, Launch and Recovery Systems, and Florida Site Executive, United Space Alliance “A great business book for this millennium. Retain it and your business will prosper.” —Bob Rosner, author of the syndicated column “Working Wounded” and coauthor of The Boss’s Survival Guide “Down-to-earth and practical, it gives managers, supervisors, and leaders things that they can do tomorrow—no, today—to stop the brain-drain. You’d better read it before your best folks set sail for elsewhere.” —Bill Bridges, author of Transitions, JobShift, and Creating You & Co. 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution LOVE 'EM OR LOSE 'EM 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution Other books by Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans Love It, Don't Leave It: 26 Ways to Get What You Want at Work Up Is Not the Only Way Learning Journeys 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution LOVE 'EM OR LOSE 'EM GETTING GOOD PEOPLE TO STAY Fourth Edition BEVERLY KAYE AND SHARON JORDAN–EVANS BK Berrett–Koehler Publishers, Inc. San Francisco a BK Business Book 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution Love ’Em or Lose ’Em Copyright © 2008 by Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. 235 Montgomery Street, Suite 650 San Francisco, California 94104-2916 Tel: (415) 288-0260, Fax: (415) 362-2512 www.bkconnection.com Ordering information for print editions Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the “Special Sales Department” at the Berrett-Koehler address above. Individual sales. Berrett-Koehler publications are available through most bookstores. They can also be ordered directly from Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626; www.bkconnection.com Orders for college textbook/course adoption use. Please contact Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626. Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers. Please contact Ingram Publisher Services, Tel: (800) 509-4887; Fax: (800) 838-1149; E-mail: [email protected]; or visit www.ingrampublisherservices.com/Ordering for details about electronic ordering. Berrett-Koehler and the BK logo are registered trademarks of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. Fourth Edition Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-57675-557-0 PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-57675-776-5 2008-1 Interior design: Joan Keyes, Dovetail Publishing Services Cover design and interior art: Tracy Rocca Composition: Michael Bass Associates Editorial services: Michael Bass Associates 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution To my beloved parents. Abe and Mollie Kaye truly lived a seven- decade love story. They inspired me personally and professionally throughout my life and are truly missed! —Bev To my nuggets—Jadyn, Isaac, Duncan, Mackenzie, and Emma. You bring such light and laughter into my life. I adore you! —Sharon 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution This page intentionally left blank 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution Contents Preface xi Acknowledgments xvii Introduction: A.J.’s Exit 1 1 SK What Keeps You? 7 Do you know what they want? 2 UCK It Stops Here 20 Who’s in charge of keeping them? 3 AREERS Support Growth 27 Are you building their future or are you in the way? 4 IGNITY Show Respect 37 Do they know that you respect them? 5 NRICH Energize the Job 46 Do your people have to leave to find growth and challenge? 6 AMILY Get Friendly 53 Avoid making your employees choose between work and family life. 7 OALS Expand Options 62 There are five career paths other than up. vii 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution viii 8 IRE Fit Is It 73 LOVE ’EM OR LOSE ’EM Make a match or start from scratch. 9 NFORMATION Share It 86 Do you have it? Do you hoard it? 10 ERK Don’t Be One 95 Are you one? 11 ICKS Get Some 105 Are we having fun yet? 12 INK Create Connections 113 If you build them, they will stay. 13 ENTOR Be One 123 Are they learning from you? 14 UMBERS Run Them 133 Calculate the cost of loss. 15 PPORTUNITIES Mine Them 140 Will they find them inside or outside? 16 ASSION Encourage It 149 Help them find the work they love—without leaving. 17 UESTION Reconsider the Rules 159 Which will you keep: the rules or the people? 18 EWARD Provide Recognition 169 Which matters more: praise or pay? 7-21-11 Promotional Copy - Not for Resale or Distribution ix 19 PACE Give It 183 CONTENTS Are your people on a short leash? 20 RUTH Tell It 196 The truth hurts—or does it? 21 NDERSTAND Listen Deeper 205 When you tune out, you lose out—and they move out. 22 ALUES Define and Align 215 What matters most? 23 ELLNESS Sustain It 223 Are they sick or tired? 24 -ERS AND OTHER GENERATIONS Handle with Care 233 They are different. Can you keep them? 25 IELD Power Down 247 Give it up to keep them. 26 ENITH Go for It 255 Test your Retention Engagement Index.