Struggles After the Whistle Upon meeting Leon McKenzie for the first time, the ex-professional football and boxer immediately provides a welcome warmth and glow to the winding, dimly-lit hallways of an upmarket London office space. But behind his immaculate charm and refreshing sincerity lies a ferocious battle with the demons of depression. For all of his duels on the football field and within the boxing ring, his crusade against his own mind is by far his most testing. He has been plagued with mental illness for a large part of his life, an unsettling anomaly in a sporting world that thrives on perfection and enormous stacks of wealth. “I think if I had spoken to the right people, if I had had the courage to address the situations that I was going through at the time and not bottle up everything, then I might have been in a position to cope with things a lot better.” McKenzie admits, at the culmination of an extraordinary sporting career that ranged from scoring against Manchester United to entering the testing world of professional boxing. The 40-year-old then reflects briefly back at stardom that ranged from kickstarting his career at Crystal Palace, experiencing Premier League promotion with Norwich City, and his eventual retirement in 2013. But amidst crashing home strikes that will live long in the memory for many a football fan, McKenzie was embroiled in a fierce battle with his mental health. Adoration that would spill from the stands on a matchday proved to be just a distraction for the Londoner, and the pressure of performing in front of expectant thousands, combined with the sport’s failure to effectively tackle the issue of mental health, led to McKenzie keeping his battle against depression a dark secret. “It had a massive negative effect. The help that was provided at the time, the education, it wasn’t where it was today,” he explains. “We’ve got such a long way to go still. It had a massive effect because people didn’t know how to deal with it, they didn’t really know how to cope or how to come forward and be brave within themselves. “If I speak, will that now mess up my chances of being in the team? Is it going to mess up my career, or my life? That’s why you find a lot of people reluctant. The ‘old school set-up’ would find that as a way of being weak, so you don’t want to show that weakness.” The alarming attitude of keeping mental health struggles hidden in football has resulted in several household names attempting to take their own lives, including ex-Professional Footballers’ Association chairman Clarke Carlisle. Gary Speed, the Wales national team manager at the time, even succeeded in 2011, which sent sobering shockwaves throughout the sporting world. A meeting between Tottenham Hotspur and Norwich City in the 2004/05 campaign saw both McKenzie and winger Aaron Lennon take to the same pitch, two professionals who would soon experience the brunt of their own personal demons. 13 years later, the latter was detained under the Mental Health Act by police over concerns about the footballer’s welfare. Lennon, who now competes regularly in the top flight for Burnley, had provided no indications of struggling with his mental health. In a similarly jarring tale, McKenzie would later find himself in the midst of a seemingly-impossible task to fend off his depression. During one of his lowest periods, after an untimely hamstring injury picked up whilst training for Charlton in 2009, McKenzie returned to his hotel room and tried to take his own life. “I kept quiet and I actually went to training the next day having come out of the hospital. I’d taken a load of pills.” McKenzie explains, recalling his most severe bout of depression in extraordinary candidness. The ex-professional’s willingness to speak openly about his struggle offers a unique insight into a profession that has only begun to effectively deal with the issue in recent years. Several organisations, at both national and local level, are seeking to raise awareness of the importance of mental health in sport. One of the forerunners is Educare, who specialise in offering safeguarding and duty of care courses. “Player welfare is becoming increasingly important and our customers are keen to ensure they protect both the physical and mental health of participants,” Josie Eames, a company representative, says. “To ensure we can help we have recently developed new courses on mental health to look at it as an issue in its own right. We also want coaches to ensure they are looking after themselves and so address this issue as well.” The approach of keeping mental health concerns a secret is disruptive, very much engrained in sporting culture, and potentially fatal. One of Educare’s latest courses aims to stop the stigma, which is proving a major stumbling block for many athletes seeking the help that they may desperately need. “We refer to the stigma of mental health in particular in our new course ‘Mental Wellbeing in Sports and Physical Activity’ and reference well known athletes who have talked about their own battles with mental health.” Josie explains, further underlining the importance of organisations who can force real, lasting change to encourage sportspeople to speak out. The rampant mental health issues that many professionals may experience are also closely linked to what may happen after retirement. According to a Professional Players’ Federation survey, more than half of former professional sportspeople hold concerns about their mental wellbeing after retiring. Life After Professional Sport, a careers resource platform founded by footballer Robbie Simpson and Rob Steed, a recruitment consultant, aims to find ex-professionals employment after they step away from their hectic playing careers. “We’re trying to encourage sportspeople at a younger age to start thinking about what their next career is going to be with all the clubs in the Premier League and within the Football League with the under-18 and under-23 age groups,” Rob says, after recently forming the two ground-breaking partnerships. “It’s just to say, ‘look, you guys have enough spare time and you should start thinking about your career now’.” The co-founder also urges sportspeople to use their career earnings to find another opportunity after retirement, something which may enable ex-professionals to remain in the industry and take up coaching: “The big message is even if you make it as a Premier League footballer and earn millions of pounds over your career, you’re not going to want to get to your mid-thirties and then not do anything. “So, even though it might not be a financial thing, you’re still going to want to do something with your life, and maybe the finance gives you the freedom to do something more charitable or whatever else your passion is.” Leon McKenzie was recently unveiled as LAPS’ new head of partnerships, a role that will see the ex-Coventry City frontman aim to bring an end to the stigma attached to mental health in sport. With an infectious enthusiasm for bringing about positive change, McKenzie appears to be the perfect candidate for such a pivotal role in changing the sport’s outlook leading into the future. But the future didn’t always appear so bright for the Croydon-born advocate. His willingness to share his tale around the country is a distinct contrast to the meek nature of his footballing heyday. “You become a good actor. I was a good actor, I was just pretending,” McKenzie admits, recalling the false exterior that still endeared him to many. “I was quite a bubbly character, quite loud sometimes and full of joy. You’re in that team environment, so it’s not real. I’d probably say out of the teams I played at, I probably spoke to four or five players and I’ve played at eight clubs. “It goes to show where I sat at that particular time. But I just feel football brings that bravado, it’s quite macho in the way that it influences people. “I think a lot of us act, because when we actually leave the training ground and go home to our own lives you really see the true person. But not everyone sees that obviously, when you shut the door.” With the likes of LAPS and Educare finally providing the world of sport with much needed mental health awareness, there has been a notable increase in professional and ex- professional sportspeople publicly sharing their stories. McKenzie perhaps provides the most glowing example. He humbly leads the way to change after experiencing setbacks that pushed him to the very edge, both physically and mentally. He has been kicked to the turf, and smacked down on the canvas, but every single time rallied and rose again. For far too many years, the words mental health have been left entirely unspoken in sport. It may still take time for the majority of professionals to feel confident enough to admit to their inner demons, but the impetus and support is growing. The stigma is slowly but surely being eradicated, something which may well save countless lives. .