a project of www.Chabad.org Ki Tavo 5762 (2002) Timed Out Inner A child's feelings of failure, the crumbling of a little girl's self-image, are not worth the gain of Dimensions the skill. Every mother knows this. And that's When my father reads "The when I wonder about You, G-d... Rebuke", I don't hear curses Heaven Rabbi DovBer of Lubavitch (son of What Is A Soul? Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi) A mystified spiritual seeker breaks though to the Exposed celestial Internet and chats with an angel. Turns out that the spiritual being is just as mystified about what is a body Story "Only Mine..." Take these and run to Haumshalagplatz. Run! Tell the kapos that your daughter is among the captured. This is an unwritten law among us -- no snatching of policemen's children Parenting The Difference Between Anger and Hate SHE MADE HIM GOOD "You don't love me. If you loved me you would All that G-d created, He allow me to..." Children are experts in making us said was good. Except for feel guilty. The trick is to understand what they're one: "It is not good that Man really saying is alone." And so He made Woman, and it was very Ki Tavo — Deuteronomy 26:1-29:8 good. Parsha Gratitude and fruit, awareness versus acknowl- If so, how is it possible edgement, priorities over percentages, and the that a man could despise the polarity of reward and rebuke -- in the Torah reading of Ki Tavo woman who took him from "not good" to "very good"? For more information or to subscribe new material to one of our many insipiring added daily! periodicals log on to: This magazine contains sacred Torah www.Chabad.org material. Please do not discard. www.Chabad.org Inner dimensions Timed Out Don’t you hear our apologies for our misdeeds? Don’t you see our faces full of hope? Why must we be sent back, time and again, to finish serving our agonizingly long “time-out”? Then I tell myself that perhaps galut is not like No matter how determined I am, it happens every that at all. time. Maybe it’s more like me watching my six-year- My little three-year-old will have done some mis- old learn how to ride her bike without its training deed, as mischievous three-year-olds will do. He wheels. may have crayoned on the wall again, or pulled his I hold back, watching her try, again and again. sister’s pony tail really hard, or refused to share his I brace myself for the moment that I will let her toys with one of his playmates. For any of these, he go, beyond my secure hold. Sadly, I watch her tip will have earned his “consequence” — three min- over once more. But as she falls and scrapes her utes of “time-out”, as advised by the experts, one knee against the hard concrete, I usher her into my minute per year of age. arms and wipe away her tears. He’ll just begin sitting on the designated step. Not Eventually, if frustration overtakes her, I insist even a half a minute will have passed when he’ll that we’ve practiced enough for now. Her feelings of approach me, blue eyes wide and intent, and mouth failure are not worth the gain of the skill, and we can those magical words that melt a mother’s heart. try again a different time when her self-image won’t “I’m sorry, Mommy. Can I come out now? I be so tarnished. won’t do it again.” Then I wonder about You, G-d. Why after our Of course I am aware that within the hour he will falls, don’t we always feel Your warm embrace? repeat the same, or worse, misdeed. Why don’t our tears feel like they are being wiped Nevertheless, I am also aware that, for that singu- away? And is the growth really worth the pain? lar moment, his apology is sincere, his resolution real and his request heartfelt. So how can I deny Then I tell myself that perhaps galut is not like him? that at all. Sure, I may remain resolute the first time he asks, At that point, I think perhaps our long and bitter and have him stay long enough to at least serve exile is more like me insisting that my eleven-year- almost half of his three-minute sentence. But even- old clean her room. I’ll tell her to go back, time and tually I’ll succumb to his pleas. time again, until I know that she’ll experience the After all, we all make mistakes. The point is to pride and satisfaction of a job perfectly done. learn from one’s follies. Who’s to say that the extra But even then, I’ll monitor her reactions ever so minute and a half would impart the lesson better? carefully. I know that there is a fine balance between Besides, don’t I also want to teach him the equally pride in earning something through one’s own valuable lesson of forgiveness? And moreover, I just efforts and losing interest in it altogether. can’t bear to see his face, so full of hope, fall as a result of my own doing. So, I may help her along, or get her started in tidy- ing up. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that she Every mother knows this. Every mother has expe- doesn’t despair because I know fully well that when rienced it with her children. she feels powerless, her efforts will be too. And that’s when I wonder about You, G-d. I think Then I wonder about You, G-d. I ponder why you about how long the “time-out” of our galut (exile) allow us to feel so powerless. True, we will feel such has lasted. Don’t you see our sad eyes raised to you? Inner Dimensions | Heaven Exposed | Story | Parenting | Parsha | Week at Glance 14 2 www.Chabad.org Inner dimensions Timed Out pride in earning our redemption, but aren’t You risk- ing that we lose interest in it altogether? I don’t know which analogy to the various stages of my children’s life is more precise. I’m not sure whether galut is a consequence meant to impart a lesson — like my three-year-old’s time-out — or a learning experience to gain a new skill or awareness — like my daughter’s bike lesson — or a refinement process that is self-earned —like cleaning up a room. Or maybe it is a combination of all of these. But one thing is clear to me. I am certain that at some point, You, too, have a breaking point. Be it our tears, our frustrations, the degeneration of our self-image or our sincere longing and hope — at some point, I know that You, too, will decide enough is enough. I just wonder why it’s taking so long to get You to that breaking point. Chana Weisberg is the author of two books — on the lives of Biblical women and on the feminine soul — and is currently working on two more. She is the dean of the JRCC Institute of Torah Study in Toronto and lectures worldwide on issues relating to women, relationships and mysticism. She welcomes your comments or inquiries about her speaking tours and books, and can be contacted at [email protected] Inner Dimensions | Heaven Exposed | Story | Parenting | Parsha | Week at Glance 14 3 www.Chabad.org Heaven Exposed hang out? Does it laugh when you tickle it? How will I What is a Soul? know its what I’m looking for when I find it? I logged on to enlightenedcucarachas.com and asked just these questions. Cuca: It’s spiritual. Me: Okay. What color is spiritual? Cuca: To the Great and Esteemed Master of All Hidden Spiritual doesn’t have color. Spiritual is stuff you Matters and Revealed Ones Too, The Mighty can’t perceive with your eyes. Or your nose. Or any Sledgehammer of Law, Pillar of Wise Edifices and of the five senses. Grandmaster of True Epithets, the Guadalajara Rebbe, Me: Like radio waves? Dear Guad, Cuca: I don’t get the story with the soul. I studied some No. Radio waves are physical. They can be biology in college, and organisms — including human detected using a radio. Spiritual is stuff that can’t be beings and their brains — seem to be neatly explained observed even with a radio. as very complex machines. I’ll admit they’re a lot more Me: soft and mucky than the typical machines that roll off your standard production line. But they’re machines, What about with a body? Can you detect spiritu- nonetheless. al with a body? There are ways to explain memory, emotions, Cuca: thought processes — all with neurological mapping. No. Some say they can even explain human consciousness Me: this way. So, who needs the soul? Then the soul can’t be spiritual, because it has an Every argument I’ve heard proving the existence of effect on the body! the soul relies on digging up something that can’t be explained by our current understanding of bodies and I got kind of frustrated. I realized that if you want to brains. So what? There used to be many things we understand what is spiritual, you have to ask one of the couldn’t explain.