1 This booklet is a gift from all those who knew Rabbi Kilimnick – friends, colleagues and congregants – to his family, on the occasion of the Rabbi’s shloshim. We would like to thank all those who contributed their memories, their photographs, their gratitude, and their love: Introduction: Hillel Deutsch Lyn Gold Adams Holzman Family Michah Segelman Larry Adelson David and Pammy Isaacs Martha Shaftel Rita Adelson Neil Jaschik Rahel Sherman Aiken Family Rabbi Alan Katz David and Helena Shrier Ann and Jim Anderson Deborah and George Kornfeld Ruth and Steve Silver Isaac Anderson Alicia LaMere Kathye Simon and Aharon Barbara Applebaum Lea Malek Baruch E. David Applebaum Camelia Marzouk Slavny-Decker Family Helen Arditi Shula Meyerowitz June Slavny Jane and John August Esther Miller Michael and Brandy Snyder Sheila Augustine Michael Miller Igor Spivak Jack and Rhoda Azar Sandra Miller Noah Spivak Raina and Ronnie Berger Michael Miran Barbara and Sid Sobel Bob Berkowitz Chany Mochkin Josh Sobel Marcia Birken Marjorie and Ethan Montag Barry and Susan Stein Lois and Arie Bodek Joel Morris Daniel and Sarita Sragow Rabbi Dov Chastain David Movsky Phyllis Sussman Karen and Michael Bev Movsky Pesach Dovid Usdane Dobkowski Newman Family Michelle Ventimiglia Elliot Fix Donald Onimus Miriam Weidenfeld Lisa Fox Yocheved Prack Jonathan Weissman Sarah and Ron Freeling Gerri Robins Robin Wettenstein Friedman Family Rabbi Nathan H. Rose Shelly Rothschild Yekutiel and Monica and Heath Gebell Rosenbaum Family Yosef Yekutiel Michael Gofman Mike Rosenhouse Ruth Zimelman Rabbi Rosalind A. Gold Sadik Family Eliot Zimelman Sorina Goldstein Ed Sassman Cheryl and Michael Zeldin Barbara and Marvin Gray Jeremy Schnittman Danny Zysman Sharon Gray and Scott Sherin Michael and Suzanne Sheri Levy Gross Schnittman Beth Freeling Gusenoff Steven Schwartz Brian Hirschfield Seigel (Schafer) Family Epilogue: A Hesped from Jeffrey Shrager 1 Introduction: Memories from a Shul President אמר רבי עקיבא אשריכם ישראל לפני מי אתם מטהרין מי מטהר אתכם אביכם שבשמים שנאמר מקוה ישראל )ה'( מה מקוה מטהר את הטמאים אף הקב"ה מטהר את ישראל “Rabbi Akiva says, Happy are you Israel! Before whom are you purified and who purifies you? Your Father in Heaven! As it is written… “Hashem is the hope (mikveh) of Israel. Just as a mikveh purifies the impure, so Hashem purifies Israel.” (Mishna Yoma 8:9) Who can hear these words and not envision Rabbi Kilimnick standing on the Beth Sholom Bimah at the close of hakafot on Simchat Torah night, joyously calling out each refrain with ever-increasing intensity, index finger pointed to the heavens, drawing forth every last bit of his strength as the packed sanctuary exploded around him with Jews dancing and clapping and crying out the responses in unison? Today, as that image fill me with a mixture of joy and grief, I can’t help but notice there are many layers of complexity to that Mishnah, as there were many layers of complexity to the Rabbi. Rabbi Akiva’s statement is based on the double meaning of the word mikveh: it commonly means a ritual bath, but literally it means hope; Hashem is the hope of the Israel, but also purifies her. The same is true of Rabbis. Rabbis provide their congregants with hope. In times of need and sorrow, when tragedy strikes an individual, or a family, or a country, they look to their Rabbi for reassurance that Hashem sees their suffering, that this will pass, that even the blackest of nights will end in a dawn. Rabbi Kilimnick was there, providing that hope to countless people and families in his four and a half decades as the spiritual leader of our community. And a Rabbi must be a mikveh, too. A source of purification and forgiveness. But a mikveh has a cost: while the person who enters ultimately exits feeling pure, the mikveh itself must bear the silt and dirt left behind. A Rabbi pays a terrible price for being a mikveh; he lightens the burden of those in direst need, but does so by shouldering part of that burden himself. Think for a moment on the countless times people came to the Rabbi with their pain, their suffering, their need. I’ve lost my job. I’ve lost my mom. I’ve lost my way. Think of all those unable to understand or articulate their own pain, who would engage in anger, using the Rabbi as a conduit to vent the disappointment and frustration in their lives. Rabbi Kilimnick served as mikveh for all those people, shouldering a portion of their burden and their suffering, and in exchange dispensing comfort and forgiveness and purity and hope. He gave of his seemingly boundless reserves of energy and joy to all who sought it, even in times when he himself was suffering tremendous pain. 2 And just as a mikveh must on occasion be cleansed and refilled, I like to think that the Rabbi was refilled and cleansed from shouldering the community’s sorrow by basking in the community’s joy. That is why he would beam and glow at every wedding and bar/bat mitzvah and bris. Why he greeted every guest with a broad smile, a joke, a word of Torah, a game of Jewish geography. Why on every Simchat Torah night he would stand on the bimah and sing with every last bit of his strength. Rabbi Kilimnick was Rochester’s mikveh, and we all have stories and memories from the profound impact our encounters with him had on our lives. Sometimes the Rabbi was involved in massive, life-changing events. But so often it was the small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that had the greatest impact. Private moments that the congregation would never see. It seems only fitting that, to commemorate his shloshim, a few of those stories and memories should be shared. It is not simply an opportunity for us to say goodbye. It is an opportunity for us to express our gratitude and sorrow; to fill a part of the hole that his passing has opened in each of us. For Rabbi Kilimnick to be our mikveh one last time. Yours in love and sorrow, Hillel Deutsch 3 Lyn Gold Adams Rabbi Shaya was a very kind person. When my Father, Irving passed away in 2003, Rabbi met me at Highland Hospital. He asked me if I wanted to give my dad a kiss goodbye. When my mom, Maxine, died in 2013 at the Jewish Home, Rabbi came in to speak to me and asked me if I would like to give her a kiss goodbye. I knew Rabbi Shaya Kilimnick for over 40 years. He will be totally missed. Larry Adelson Rabbi Kilimnick and I seldom agreed on anything political. The discussion was usually short and sometimes heated. Even so, he always had a good word and a pleasant smile. When my Mother-in-Law died (December 2014) Rabbi and Nechie put off a trip by one day to stop in Monticello to attend the funeral. Rabbi Kilimnick gave a heartfelt and beautiful speech. It made a lasting impression on all of those present, especially the family. Rita Adelson Following Shiva for the passing of my mother, I returned to Rochester from my home town of Monticello, NY. As my mother had only daughters, saying Kaddish for her was something I wanted to do. I entered the small sanctuary with some trepidation as I was not sure how my female voice from the back would be received. Rabbi Kilimnick greeted me with open arms. His warm welcome, encouragement, and wise words helped me through a difficult period. He touched my heart and my soul. I am a better person for having known him. Aiken Family Many good memories of Rabbi Kilimnick. I particularly recall that a year or two after moving out of Rochester we invited Rabbi and Nechie to attend Elan’s wedding in Atlanta. He received a Sheva Bracha, sat at our table and honored us by being part of our simcha. The Rabbi always brought joy to any event he attended and he and Nechie’s warmth enhanced the excitement and made us feel so connected again to him and the Beth Sholom community More recently I saw Rabbi Kilimnick on a zoom program and when he spotted me he said “oh there is Diane Aiken.” The rabbi always reached out and made you feel that you counted. Our family will miss Rabbi Kilimnick. With love, Diane, Jeff, Danny, Elan and Eva and Brett Aiken 4 Ann and Jim Anderson Memories of Rabbi Kilimnick Years ago, when there was Midrasha Jewish High School our third son was a student there. In fact, he refused to take courses from anyone except Rabbi Kilimnick. During the years he was a student, our daughter, Sami, died. At the time, we were members of Temple Beth El. As we were waiting for the funeral to begin, Rabbi Kilimnick came to sat with our son. He and Nechie were the first at shiva following the burial. We will always remember gratefully Rabbi’s kindness. Many years later Rabbi Kilimnick insisted that we have a “big Jewish wedding” (his words.) Following the Bet Din overseeing our Orthodox conversions, we had thought perhaps just a small ceremony with a minyan in his office. He wouldn’t hear of it; “Your friends will all make you a wedding! There’ll be dancing!” Nechie urged him on saying, “a summer evening- everyone will come!” It was indeed a wonderful evening filled with friends, dancing and so many good wishes and welcomes to the Beth Sholom community but our most enduring memory of all is of a beaming Rabbi Kilimnick welcoming us under the chuppah and with piano and song at the celebration following! In gratitude-always, Ann and Jim Isaac Anderson My memories of time spent with Rabbi Shaya go back to the days even before my Bar-Mitzvah.