November 2018 | Cheshvan-Kislev 5779 | Volume 65 Number 8 THEEmbracinDUAL FAITH Famil TWO INTERFAITH FAMILIES SHARE THEIR JOURNEYS AT BETH EL Hannukah Lights Up The Sky. See page 7 for more details. BETH EL SENIOR STAFF AND BOARD Senior Staff Embracin Senior Rabbi Steven P. Schwartz THE DUAL FAITH Rabbi Dana Saroken Cantor Thom D. King Cantor Educator Melanie Blatt Executive Director Joshua Bender Director of Education Eyal Bor, Ph.D. Ritual Director Ben Kreshtool When Robert Hiken’s mother-in-law picks up the Director of Development Amanda Beitman grandchildren — Seth, Gabriella and Parker — from the Berman-Lipavsky Religious school and the Pauline Beth El Offi cers Mash School for Early Child Education, she consistently President Denise F. Franz notices the warm, welcoming feelings that are extended 1st Vice President Edward Mishner, M.D. 2nd Vice President Bruce Friedman to her. Secretary Jennifer Millman If that is at all noteworthy, it is because Robert’s wife, Treasurer Edward Goldmeier Elizabeth and her family are Catholic. Comptroller Hal Hackerman “Our children have been attending infant/toddler and Board Members the preschool since they were 12 weeks old. The school Benjamin Abrams Jeffrey Kreshtool community has always been welcoming to both my Jill Baldinger Jennifer Krieger Jewish family and my wife's Catholic family. Elizabeth’s Herbert Better Regan La Testa mother, a practicing Catholic and retired kindergarten Ellen Budish Howard Moffet teacher, does almost all of our Margery Daniels Kenneth Niman Marci Elkin Leslie Papel pickups and drop-offs as well as Kevin Fruman Joanne Rief parent and grandparent days. Rebecca Fruman A. Ronald Rubin The community at Beth El has Kenneth Goldberg Joshua Shein been amazing, to the point where David Harrison Debra Shore she has commented about how Eden Himelfarb Jill Suffel good the teachers and staff are at Myra Katz Bruce Supovitz explaining the Jewish customs to Robin Kleiman Michael Uhlfelder those who do not practice.” Joseph Koff Steven Weinstein Susan Kolker Hiken joined the congregation after a positive experience Past Presidents with the schools. And now, as *Reuben H. Levenson Elliot Merenbloom the Thanksgiving, Hanukkah *Melvin H. Chernoff David Yumkas and Christmas holidays approach this year, Robert and *Samuel J. Keiser Albert M. Katz Elizabeth can feel even more secure in the knowledge *Dr. William Raffel Alan S. Dorenfeld * J u l i u s O f fi t John P. Abosch that Elizabeth is a full-fl edged member at Beth El. *Milton Roseman Margot Gilbert Gilison “Growing up my whole family would celebrate Shabbat *Milton Snyder Dr. Robert D. Keehn dinner together at my grandparents' house. We would all *Ira Askin Beverly S. Penn get together (and still do) for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Robert N. Smelkinson Richard S. Hollander and Pesach. My family has integrated Elizabeth and her Charles Yumkas Michael D. Steinhardt family into our special occasions. At the same time, my *Klaus Buchdahl Raphael Kahn family is still able to celebrate Elizabeth's heritage with *Mildred Miller Steven D. Silverman her family at Christmas, Easter, and other Christian Holy Sidney Friedman Jerome D. Schnydman *Max Mendelsohn Michael S. Rubenstein Days. Our family has always been very open to including Louis Glick *Deceased people of different backgrounds and it means a lot to me that our synagogue offi cially now does the same.” 2 The Voice of Beth El Congregation In May, Beth El took a bold step by voting unanimously as “I have been listening to the concerns of a community to update its bylaws, recognizing that non- congregants for many Jewish members of interfaith families can become full- years, mostly when fl edged members of the congregation. It was a change, their own children said Beth El Senior Rabbi Steven Schwartz, that allows intermarry, and Beth El to practice what it preaches. I have been “Beth El has always been a leader in terms of a frustrated by progressive approach to Conservative Jewish life,” the limitations that Rabbi Schwartz said. “For many years now we have been the Conservative pushing the envelope in terms of integrating interfaith movement had placed families at Beth El, particularly in the way people who are on synagogues. When I not Jewish are able to participate in our services. The read that the General Assembly idea has always been to make people feel as welcome as of Kehillot of the United Synagogues possible, and to understand that the non-Jewish member of Conservative Judaism (USCJ), the in a family plays an important role in raising Jewish umbrella organization to which Beth El and children.” other Conservative synagogues belong, began to allow synagogues to expand membership to Gail Willoughby is a perfect example of the confluence include non-Jews, we as a board were eager to of the history of Beth El and the move to recognize make it happen.” interfaith families. “The process was extremely respectful and the Gail’s grandparents, Benjamin and Betty Smelkinson were support was overwhelming,” she said. “Beth El among the congregation’s founders in 1948. “I grew up members continue to think progressively and to at Beth El,” she said. “I can’t remember a time in my life act as ‘mensches,’ welcoming both spouses in a when I wasn’t at Beth El.” dual faith marriage.” Thirty-seven years ago, Gail married Wayne Willoughby, While Franz said that questions remain who is Lutheran. The couple has two children, Matthew regarding how to incorporate non-Jewish family and Dana, who celebrated their B’nai Mitzvot at Beth members in particular circumstances, everyone El, continue to attend services and remain active. Dana agrees that this was a benefi cial and important now helps prepare Beth El children for their Bar and Bat fi rst step. And families with children currently Mitzvah ceremonies. being educated at Beth El feel newly welcomed. Over the years Wayne Willoughby has served on Beth El “It encourages us greatly to know that we are committees, regularly attended services and contributed part of a progressive synagogue that recognizes to the Beth El community in ways large and small. But our family dynamic,” Robert Hiken said. “I feel until that vote in May, he could not be considered a a larger sense of community and welcoming member of the congregation. atmosphere knowing that my WHOLE family is For congregation President Denise Franz, amending the included. Beth El has been nothing but the best bylaws became a personal goal for her term. for our family.” THROUGH THE GRANDPARENTS’ EYES AND HEARTS Navigating the Holiday Season as an Interfaith Family Sunday, December 9, 6:00-8:00 PM in the Kolker Room Now that we are in the midst of the Holiday Season, there are many diffi cult questions, compromises and concerns that effect Interfaith families in our community. Please join us for an open and judgment free discussion led by Rabbi Steven Schwartz. Parents, grandparents, and not-yet grandparents of all faiths are invited to join us. Light refreshments will be served. Please RSVP and send questions or concerns to Gail Willoughby at [email protected]. The Voice of Beth El Congregation 3 The Beth El Family In Memoriam OUR HEARTIEST MAZEL TOV TO We mourn the passing of our members and extend sincere Bar & Bat Mitzvah Dawn and Andrew Berkowitz on the condolences to their families. Bar Mitzvah of their son, Ely Benjamin Lawrence Barrash HOLDEN Berkowitz. Grandparents are Karen Richard J. Gordon MOSTOFSKY, son of and Alan Berkowitz and Ellen and Stuart Wiesenberger. Joy Lichter Lori Mostofsky and Harlene Lois Simons Stewart Mostofsky, will Sharon and Alan Dorenfeld on the Bat be called to the Torah Mitzvah of their granddaughter, Emily as a Bar Mitzvah on Brynn. OUR DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO November 3, 2018. Sydny and Jeffrey Gaber on the birth Karen Barber on the loss of her of their grandson, Eli. beloved mother, Rose Jakulsky. ELY BENJAMIN BERKOWITZ, son of Seth Gusman and Stefanie Lachter- Evelyn Barrash on the loss of her Dawn and Andrew Gusman on the Bat Mitzvah of beloved husband, Lawrence Barrash. Berkowitz, will be called their daughter, Samantha Danielle Carole Buckner on the loss of her to the Torah as a Bar Gusman. Grandparents are Shoshana beloved mother, Lillian Goldberg. Mitzvah on November and George Lachter and Barbara and 10, 2018. Brian Gusman. Robert Cohan on the loss of his beloved brother, Stanford Henry Meryl and Gil Hutzler on the Bar Cohan. JACOB LOUIS Mitzvah of their son, Jacob Louis HUTZLER, son of Meryl Hutzler. Grandparents are Karen Gloria Gordon on the loss of her and Gil Hutzler, will and Alan Berkowitz and Sandy and beloved husband, Richard J. Gordon. be called to the Torah Jiggs Hutzler. Great-grandmother is The family of the late Joy Lichter. as a Bar Mitzvah on Bernice Hutzler Stein. November 10, 2018. Joyce Plotkin on the loss of her Robin Kleiman on the birth of her beloved sister, Phyllis Cohen. granddaughter, Elizabeth Stephanie Michael Simons and Stevan Simons Hardt. MAYA NICOLE on the loss of their beloved wife and SCHREIBER, daughter Fraeda and Elliot Lewis on the mother, Harlene Lois Simons. of Dr. Jeffrey and Cindy engagement of their son, Mark to Schreiber, will be called Katie Sullivan. MILESTONE ANNIVERSARIES to the Torah as a Bat Karl and Robin Mindel on the Marci Gordon and Dr. Andrew Mitzvah on November marriage of their daughter, Jamie Barnstein on their 15th 10, 2018 during Mindel to Drew Bowers. Havdalah services. Laurie and Larry Weiss on their 15th Lori Mostofsky and Stewart th Mostofsky on the Bar Mitzvah of Patricia and Gilbert Cohen on their 20 SAMANTHA DANIELLE their son, Holden Mostofsky.