OLD GUARD AS THE CANNON ROARS, THE PRESS WILL ROLL. VOL. XXXX Issue 8 May 2007 You live your life only once, But if lived right, once is enough. Calla Lily FULL NAME: Jessica Lynn FULL NAME: Ryan Acker FULL NAME: Katerina Rose Schluter NICKNAMES: Mr. Fantastic Suchor NICKNAMES: Jess, Ica, Bear BIRTHDATE: 1-24-89 NICKNAMES: Kates, BIRTHDATE: 8/10/88 FAVORITE COLOR: red Schmully FAVORITE COLORS: purple THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: BIRTHDATE: 10-24-88 THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: block scheduling, uptight FAVORITE COLOR: orange, the school board, that it only administration, crazy people chartreuse takes two minutes for the FAVORITE FOODS: small ro- THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: whole school to know a secret dents what will I miss? or rumor HOBBIES: running, playing FAVORITE FOODS: penne al FAVORITE FOODS: cheesecake, music, slapping Ian, break arabiata, nectarines any type of dessert dancing HOBBIES: doing crossword HOBBIES: playing volleyball, FAVORITE ACTRESS/ puzzles, vandalizing bibles, going on walks, going on ACTOR: Amanda Crary, ULTIMATE JUSTICE runs, playing with my puggys Ian Morland FAVORITE ACTRESS/ FAVORITE ACTRESS/ACTOR: FAVORITE MOVIE: Without ACTOR: Stephen Colbert, Denzel Washington, Jenifer Limits, Boondock Saints, Gene Wilder, Eddie Izzard Aniston Dumb and Dumber FAVORITE MOVIE: Blazing FAVORITE MOVIE: Remember FAVORITE MUSICIANS: Saddles, The Rocky Horror the Titans Kings of Leon, Black Picture Show, Super Troop- FAVORITE MUSICIANS: Crowes, Red Hot Chili Pep- ers, The Big Lebouski Kenny Chesney pers, Taking Back Sunday, FAVORITE MUSICIANS: FAVORITE SONG: sorry Thin Lizzy, Rage Against Beck, David Bowie, The PET PEEVES: chomping, slurp- the Machine, Jackie Greene Sonics, The Fuzztones, ing, lying, the noise when FAVORITE SONG: King of the Brian Setzer, Parliament someone rubs their fingers on Rodeo FAVORITE SONG: Louie paper FAVORITE PHRASE: well, Louie, Pablo Picasso, Un- WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT you can’t measure what’s funky UFO, She’s a Fig NG: I love that everyone between the shoulders Neutron, The Internationale know everyone. I also love PET PEEVES: racists, block FAVORITE PHRASE: if that I’ve got to know so many scheduling wishes and buts were clus- people because it’s a small WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT ters of nuts, we’d all have a school NG: Ian Morland bowl of granola; would you FUTURE PLANS: UW - ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- like a jelly baby? Milwaukee for an undecided MEN: Don’t take advice PET PEEVES: self-pitying medical career from seniors drama queens, screevsters FUTURE PLANS: break the WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT world record for the most NG: get serious peeps consumed in one ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- hour, punch a goat MEN: duck FUTURE PLANS: prove that string theory is a pile of crap, buy a Durati and road trip to Alberta FULL NAME: Adam James FULL NAME: Brittany Mae FULL NAME: Jacob William Brunker Bahn Lienhardt NICKNAMES: Fatum Chunker, NICKNAMES: Britt, B NICKNAMES: Tank, White Brunks, Mr. Bubbles BIRTHDATE: 7-19-89 Chocolate, Hey you BIRTHDATE: 6-29-89 FAVORITE COLORS: red, BIRTHDATE: 10-5-88 FAVORITE COLORS: maroon blue, green FAVORITE COLOR: maroon THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: school, getting tickets from homework, detentions school, the library librarians, waking up before FAVORITE FOODS: fries, spa- FAVORITE FOODS: taquitos 2 p.m. ghetti, chocolate, Caesar y burritos FAVORITE FOODS: anything salad, cherries, whipped HOBBIES: B-Ball Jam!, chil- but school food, baby calf cream lin’ HOBBIES: drive bys, getting HOBBIES: modeling, acting, FAVORITE ACTRESS/ suspended and tickets, club- driving ACTOR: Pope Tom Cruise bin’ with my honkies FAVORITE ACTRESS/ FAVORITE MOVIE: Clerks II FAVORITE ACTRESS/ ACTOR: Will Ferrel, Ra- FAVORITE MUSICIANS: ACTOR: Chris Farley and chel McAdams, Vince Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, me Vaughn Tom Petty, AC/DC FAVORITE MOVIE: Blazing FAVORITE MOVIE: Anchor- FAVORITE SONG: Paranoid, Saddles man Communication Break- FAVORITE MUSICIANS: Tay FAVORITE MUSICIANS: Fall down Tay the Confuser Out Boy, Buckcherry, Mud- FAVORITE PHRASE: nah, FAVORITE SONG: Ghetto vayne, 311 nah, nah Boys FAVORITE SONG: Walk It PET PEEVES: pet peeves FAVORITE PHRASE: mamas, Out Remix WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT you must protect your ba- FAVORITE PHRASE: I’m NG: not much bies! kind of a big deal ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- PET PEEVES: cops, laws, kids PET PEEVES: shoes w/o socks, MEN: if you have to take in 4N6 that wear suits bad eyebrows, rudeness, something seriously, don’t WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT people without class, do it NG: how they have the abil- Buicks, smoking, bad teeth, FUTURE PLANS: chill in ity to just lay people off— lying Milwaukee, mostly at you rock, administration! WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT Brewer games ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- NG: the people—I’m going MEN: don’t spend school to miss a lot of them when I doing homework all the time, leave! have fun it goes fast ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- FUTURE PLANS: live behind MEN: do your homework & Arbys in a dumpster living show up, have good excuses off curly fries or join Tay- for being late and get passes lor’s Revolution thing and from Sharon die shortly after but other- FUTURE PLANS: traveling to wise stand up comedy Tokyo & Taipei for model- ing this fall and going to L.A. for modeling and act- ing once I get back FULL NAME: Benjamin R. FULL NAME: BreeSean Anne Brunner Pittman NICKNAMES: Big Sexy, NICKNAMES: Bree, Sean, Honky Seannie, Bre-Bre, Erb-Erb BIRTHDATE: 6-22 BIRTHDATE: 8-24-89 FAVORITE COLORS: rain- FAVORITE COLORS: blue, bow purple, red THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: FULL NAME: Whitney honkies, teachers who being stuck in a Marcella Sawyer Hastings freak out without a good “school” (more like a NICKNAMES: Boots reason, busy work prison) for 8 hours a day, BIRTHDATE: 12-4-88 FAVORITE FOODS: spicy NG rumors, slow clap FAVORITE COLOR: black & foods FAVORITE FOODS: choco- red HOBBIES: running, reading late covered raisins, Moun- THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: a FAVORITE ACTRESS/ tain Dew certain sophomore who I ACTOR: Actress — HOBBIES: cheer, hanging can’t stand & can’t wait to Leonardo DiCaprio, Ac- with friends, going to Sys- not see every day tors—Sean Connery/ temlinks and trying to play FAVORITE FOODS: Chinese Donald Sutherland Halo 2, making a fool of HOBBIES: making knives, read- FAVORITE MOVIE: Without myself ing Limits FAVORITE ACTRESS/ FAVORITE ACTRESS/ FAVORITE MUSICIANS: ACTOR: Jim Carey, Hay- ACTOR: Helena Bonham Kings of Leon, Bright den Dennitiere Carter, Johnny Depp Eyes, Led Zeppelin, Blink FAVORITE MOVIE: Dirty FAVORITE MOVIE: Pirates of 182 Dancing, 10 Things I Hate the Caribbean, any Tim Bur- FAVORITE SONG: Arizona, About You ton film Not Now FAVORITE MUSICIANS: FAVORITE MUSICIANS: FAVORITE PHRASE: for Three Days Grace, Carrie Mindless Self Indulgence, something to hurt so bad Underwood, Fly Leaf, Sys- Suicide City, Nickelback and feel so good at the tem of a Down FAVORITE SONG: Rock Star same time, it’s inexplicable FAVORITE SONG: Paralyzer FAVORITE PHRASE: God is PET PEEVES: block schedule, FAVORITE PHRASE: just the name for Mother on the under-funded schools, peo- smile and nod; no, wait . lips and hearts of all children ple with weird eating hab- that’s a Jim Carey movie PET PEEVES: lying, cheating, its, Swiss stuff PET PEEVES: people lectur- ugly people, people who WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT ing about things that they stand in my bubble, people NG: sports have no clue what they’re who hit on your boyfriend ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- talking about, hypocrites WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT MEN: be yourself WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT NG: some of the people here FUTURE PLANS: UW- NG: knowing pretty much are really great, like Julia for Oshkosh, run track and everyone, a small school example cross country, achieve All- ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- American status MEN: have fun & don’t MEN: don’t worry about listen to your parents (they your time here, it won’t mat- don’t know what they’re ter once you leave talking about) FUTURE PLANS: college in FUTURE PLANS: Lawrence Hawaii with my boyfriend University, major in Math, for forensic science and minor in Secondary Educa- make lots of money tion FULL NAME: Elizabeth Louise Aslakson BIRTHDATE: 5-24-89 FAVORITE COLOR: blue, pur- ple THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: block scheduling FAVORITE FOODS: pasta, FULL NAME: Benjamin Hob- homemade food, fruit bins Towne HOBBIES: cheer, dance, shop- NICKNAMES: Ben, Benji, ping Towne, Towner, Honky FAVORITE MOVIE: Dirty BIRTHDATE: 5-7-89 FULL NAME: Taylor X Ja- Dancing, A Walk to Re- FAVORITE COLORS: red, nowiak member blue, black NICKNAMES: Tay Tay, FAVORITE MUSICIANS: THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: Peaches, Honky country singers the rules in the library, high BIRTHDATE: 9-29-88 FAVORITE SONG: I Hope school, block scheduling, FAVORITE COLOR: red You Dance people who burn other peo- THINGS YOU WON’T MISS: FAVORITE PHRASE: smile & ple block scheduling, school, nod FAVORITE FOODS: pizza, people that burn others PET PEEVES: things that an- Chinese, Bawls (drink) FAVORITE FOODS: Italian, noy me HOBBIES: online gaming, Thai, Mexican WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT running, trouble shooting HOBBIES: bass, running, NG: my friends computer problems, build- screwing up the system ADVICE TO UNDERCLASS- ing custom computers FAVORITE ACTRESS/ MEN: be nice FAVORITE ACTRESS/ ACTOR: Steve McQueen FUTURE PLANS: University ACTOR: Brad Pitt FAVORITE MOVIE: City of of Minnesota—Twin Cities, FAVORITE MOVIE: Gladia- God, James Bond, Dumb & major in Elementary Educa- tor, 300, Black Hawk Dumber tion Down, Devil’s Rejects FAVORITE MUSICIANS: me, FAVORITE MUSICIANS: JF Motorhead