My First Father’s Day When I was growing up, I always imagined having a family in my mid 20s: the wife, the kids, the picket fence. But like everyone else’s journey, things didn’t go the way I planned them when I was 14. And thank god. I met my wife in my late 30s when I was a fully formed adult with all of my good and bad qualities plainly displayed. Sarah, my wife, had already accomplished more than most people, so we figured marriage would be a different adventure for us. We discussed children and I think we came to the mutual understanding that if we had a child we would love him or her and be the best parents we could. If we weren’t able to have children for whatever reason, we would just accept our lives of disposable income and stress-free travel. It was a win-win! Fast forward to last April and the birth of our son, Julian. People gave me all kinds of advice — some useful and some not so much. I appreciate that advice is well meaning, so I took it all in with a grain of salt and my best “advice listening smile” affixed to my face. One thing that came up multiple times was that I wouldn’t know how deeply I could love until I met my son. Julian came into the world happy and healthy and a giant tiny man of a baby. I loved him at first sight. As I’m writing this, it’s been two months to the day that he’s been with us, and already all the time before him seems superfluous — like wasted time. And my friends were correct. I never knew I could love another person as much as I did until Julian was born. But the person I didn’t know I could love more is his mom. This is an article about Father’s Day in general and my first father’s day specifically. I still have that “new dad smell” on me and I am here to tell you: Father’s Day is a scam. Yes, I like being appreciated, but having just witnessed my wife carry our son for 9 months and give birth to him, I can tell you with some certainty that I was not a very important part of the process. I come home from work now to see her miraculously feeding our son WITH HER BODY! She is all he needs. I am technically a parent, but it’s the same way Marlon was technically a member of the Jackson 5. I mean, sure, if he vanished the family might miss him, but no one going to a Jackson 5 show would look at the stage and ask, “Wait, where’s Marlon?” The way Sarah has taken to motherhood is inspiring. It’s also a little intimidating. There’s no way I will ever be as good a dad to Julian as she is a mother to him already. And I know parenting should be about working together for the best interest of the child. But if we are teammates, then I am JR Smith to her LeBron, just running around with the ball while she dominates the game. I knew I was lucky to be married to her before fatherhood, but now I recognize that I managed to team up with an all-star. I thank the Lord every day for the life I have. For being born in the United States, having a job I truly enjoy and now for my son. I can’t wait to show him as much as I can in hope that he loves his life, too. But none of it would be the same without Sarah. So what do I think about my first Father’s Day? I’ll eat the burger and wear the tie, but I know the word only applies to me because of the work my wife has done and will continue to do. After watching Sarah with my son, I am convinced the world would be a better place if we just let women run it. Happy Father’s Day to all my fellow dads doing their best. But let’s remember: Without women doing the heavy lifting, it’s just another day celebrating being a man. 7 Questions with Mike Birbiglia Mike Birbiglia is a New York comedian, actor and filmmaker who was born in Shrewsbury, Mass. His feature-length directorial debut, Sleepwalk With Me, based on his one-man show, won awards at the Sundance and Nantucket film festivals. He also wrote, directed and starred in the critically acclaimed comedy-drama Don’t Think Twice. He will be performing his new show, appropriately titled The New One, at Trinity Repertory Theatre in Providence, May 31 – June 3. TJ Curran (Motif): How is The New One different from Thank God for Jokes or My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend? Is there an overarching theme to the show? Mike Birbiglia: I try not to tell people what the show is about, because I realized recently that I don’t like knowing anything about what I’m about to see. My favorite movies last year were Lady Bird, The Big Sick, Get Out, and The Florida Project, and the greatest gift I can give to people is telling them to go see those movies, don’t watch a trailer, do not read a review, just go see them. I feel that way about theater, movies and this show. I will say that if you like Sleepwalk With Me, My Girlfriends Boyfriend, and Thank God for Jokes, then you’ll like the new one. If you don’t like those, then I don’t think it’s for you. TJC: What made you decide to book Trinity Rep as a venue? How do you expect that will be different from a more traditional venue, or even a more “comic-centric” venue like the Cellar? MB: I’ve done this show at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre in California and the La Jolla Playhouse outside of San Diego and I’m doing the show off-Broadway at the Cherry Lane Theater in mid-July for five weeks. Those are all similar venues to Trinity Rep, and that’s what I prefer. I prefer theatrical venues that are intimate. I’ve heard about Trinity Rep for years. I’m friendly with Oskar Eustis who use to be Trinity Rep’s artistic director. Our set designer, Beowulf Boritt, used to design for Trinity Rep. It has a spectacular reputation. Plus, my brother, Joe, who runs my production company and collaborates with me on writing, lives in Providence with his family, and my sister, Gina, lives in Providence with her family as well, so its a place I like to spend time. TJC: Congratulations on Don’t Think Twice. It was a great film. Do you think within the current system of superhero movies and reboots of old ideas that there will be bigger and bigger audiences looking for films like yours or Ladybird or Get Out? MB: It’s a good question. I think nobody knows the answer to that. I certainly hope so. I feel like in the ’70s there were film studios that were taking a shot on movies that were for grownups. That’s when Annie Hall, China Town and a lot of the Altman films got greenlit, and I don’t feel like studios are doing that currently, but then you have companies like A24, The Orchard and The Film Arcade who did Don’t Think Twice that are willing to take chances on small movies like those. TJC: I was watching Chaplin again this weekend, and it struck me that he was the very definition of an auteur, even writing some of the music for his films. But he also owned the studio. How difficult is it to be an auteur? Are you able to exercise the creative control you’d like? Do you have any more movies in the works? MB: I’m writing my third movie right now. I’ve been lucky enough to have creative control over Sleepwalk with Me and Don’t Think Twice. Part of that has to do with a willingness to do things for a lower budget. Based on what I’ve observed in Hollywood, the higher your budget goes the more cooks there are in the kitchen and the more the director needs to be on the hook for the movie to make more money. Which is why something like Lady Bird, Get Out, or Don’t Think Twice, I think, are smart business decisions as movies because they don’t have to make that much money to earn their money back. In some ways, it’s easier to be an auteur currently cause the cost of camera equipment and the cost of production and editing is exponentially less than when Chaplin was making films. TJC: You’ve created quite an enviable career, being able to move from comedy tours to TV, to movies pretty adroitly. Who is the person you have not worked with, with whom you are dying to collaborate in some way? MB: I feel like there are a few filmmakers that I’m fascinated by. Pete Doctor at Pixar, I think, is making some really groundbreaking movies like Up and Inside Out. I’m obviously a fan of filmmakers like the Coen Brothers, Nicole Holofcener and Noah Baumbach. Those are people whose movies I look forward to most.