The Reluctant Famulus 121 January/February 2018 Thomas D. Sadler, Editor/Publisher, etc. 305 Gills Branch Road, Owenton, KY 40359 E-mail: [email protected] Contents Introduction, Editor 3 More Stones, Eric Barraclough 8 A prevalence, Walt Wentz 11 Mysterious Kentuckiana, Alfred D. Byrd 14 Titular, A Poem by G. A. Scheinoha 17 Hidden Treasure, Matt Howard 18 The Crotchety Critic, Michaele Jordan 22 NAE Part One, Gayle Perry 26 NAE, Part 2, Gayle Perry 33 Letters 38 Conclusion 44 Artwork/Photos T. D. Sadler Front cover, Back cover Sheryl Birkhead 6 bottom right column Brad Foster 9, 17, 32 Steve Stiles 7 Alfred Byrd 13, 15 Internet 6, 8, 10, 12, 25, The Reluctant Famulus is a product of Strange Dwarf Publications. Some of the comments expressed herein are solely those of the Editor/Publisher and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of any sane, rational persons who know what they are doing and have carefully thought out beforehand what they wanted to say. Material not written or produced by the Editor/Publisher is printed by permission of the various writers and artists and is copyright by them and remains their sole property and reverts to them after publication. TRF maybe obtained by The Usual or, in return for written material and artwork, postage costs, The Meaning of Life, and Editorial Whim. Or a ton of Hershey’s Special Dark chocolate. 2 The Reluctant Famulus Introduction An Atonement for a crowded cover There. See? I can create a cover that isn’t -off they gave him was quite an extravaganza, over crowded. Now this one (and the back something that could give a person a big head. cover) may be disparaged also. On the other hand it’s only normal to hold a 2017 has passed and a new year confronts celebration for someone; that’s understandable, us. Will it be as bad as the previous year? Will expected, natural and decent. That leads me to it be the same or worse? I shudder to think wonder if any of the previous Doctors ever re- about it. A much diminished issue this ceived such a send-off. Probably not William time. Nothing much for me to say. Everyone is Hartnell. By the way, the person that imperson- recovering from Christmas and New Year’s ated him did a fair job; there were signs of celebrations and working on returning to the Hartnell, as best I can remember from having real world with no frivolities, no distractions watched him in the first Doctor Who episode. and more important things like reality. There So why did he get such a send-off? I know: are better activities to spend one’s time and en- it’s none of my business. ergies on. The Christmas episode had the usual lots of Since this is a new year perhaps we should weaponry, explosions, fire and so on. The usual take a break from TRF for a while. jumping back and forth between scenes, repeat- Please don’t feel obligated to continue read- ing some of them. It all seemed somewhat cha- ing this introduction. I’ll understand if you otic and Moffettanian. (Did I just create a new don’t. I don’t want anyone waking up in the word in the English language?) Isn’t he capable middle of the night with nightmares or throwing of writing a sane, reasonable and comprehensi- up all over. “It ain’t worth it,” the old farmer ble story for Doctor Who? said as he tried to castrate a bull. And when all the scatterbrained nonsense [Insert insane, disjointed rant in no coherent ended and it finally came to the part where the sequence written by a lunatic here.] Doctor dies and regenerates it seemed rather Warning: A possible health hazard. Read it disappointing. Then there was the scene where at your peril. the outgoing Doctor meets the incoming Doc- Well, I watched the so-called “Christmas” tor. They touch hands and the glow. The elder episode of Doctor Who. Personally—you can generation passes on the torch to the[new] re- take it with a grain of salt, dismiss it as sour generation. grapes or the ravings of a lunatic—I felt it had You may be surprised that I had no problem much to be desired. But then considering the with the new Doctor when she finally appeared person committed the crime what else was to be in what to me was a lame sequence. I think the expected. From what I endured it seemed as if lady Doctor deserved more and better treat- Steven Moffatt and his henchmen thought Peter ment. There should been more than seeing her Capaldi is hot stuff. Capaldi is a competent ac- falling to earth or wherever from a great height. tor but, good grief, he’s only one out of many Why couldn’t there have been at least a little just as good or better.* inevitably there will something to show what she was like other than come an actor (of both genders.) equal to him her terrified look as she plunges to apparently or superior. He was all over the place. The send certain death. It’s the usual standard teaser to 3 ensure that the audience will look forward to he and all actors are stuck with directors, many the next episode, wondering what will happen of whom can be, shall we say, dictatorial or to her. Obviously she will come out alive or nearly so. Boy! I think I’m full of it. else there’s no point in having a new Doctor of I have more of a problem with Moffatt than any gender. Of course there will be speculations Capaldi. As if he’d be worried about me or as to what condition she will be in when she even heard of me. If I’m so damn smart, Percy, touches ground. Will it be something sensible how come I’m not rich? No—don’t answer and believable or outrageous and making me, at that! least, to say, “Aw come on!” Not that my reac- In all honesty, why on earth would Moffatt tion would be of any value. Here are a couple of write episode scripts different from his usual possibilities. She lands safely on a tall stack of ones just to please a big nobody? It’s ridiculous. king-size mattresses. At almost the last instant a It’s best that I keep my opinions to myself huge human hand reaches out, catches her and (Which I’m not doing right now.) In the end, no stands her up. one is forcing me to watch Doctor Who. Just as Oh! Wait! The whole “Christmas” episode you’re not forced to read this mishmash. If no- was about . you know who. (No, that’s not a body finds some of this funny then I’m going to play on the Doctor.) The regenerated woman have to hire a new joke writer. I hope no one Doctor was just passing through before taking takes offense at the preceding. Mostly, it wasn’t her predecessor’s place. She didn’t want to get intended to be serious. I hope it was at least in his way a little bit entertaining. Once again Moffat’s work took too long time to tell a short story with all sorts of pyro- To be somewhat fair, take into account that technics and, gun and cannon fire and all sorts a large number of American TV law enforce- of “cool” special effects, some of which proba- ments series are generously laden with car bly don’t have anything to do with the plot. chases, shootouts with large numbers of bullets, It was interesting to see segments of bull explosions, and fires. After all, the last resort is sessions or whatever it was among all the peo- to whip out all kinds of lethal weaponry and kill ple behind Doctor Who. They seemed like a lot anyone and anything. of them. But what do I know? I’m definitely ignorant as to how many people are required to That also holds for a great many movies, produce something like Doctor Who and any including so-called SF ones, with wild special TV series. A small city’s worth—or a village at effects in addition to what goes on in the TV least. It might be natural and normal. series. And sometimes it’s difficult to tell who *Whoa! Hold on. I’m being harsh about the good guy is and who is the bad one. (Well, him. I apologize for that. It isn’t fair. After all, the bad guys are usually killed off because the I’m a nobody who’s in no danger of that hap- good guys have more and better weaponry.) pening to me. That’s for the best. Besides, if I So Moffatt is just doing what everyone else were at the party I’d probably wander over and does and follows that tradition. shake hands with him and ask for an autograph We humans are a cruel, bloodthirsty spe- and wish him the best of luck in the future. For cies. A sarcastic comment I’ve made is, “Our all I know, he might be glad he’s not working world would a wonderful place—if it wasn’t for with Moffatt anymore. That’s just speculation all the humans.” and has no real connection to reality. Then too Aren’t I a sour pessimist? I’m somewhat of 4 a hypocrite and admit I’ve had murderous only the most important items pertinence to the thoughts once or twice.