· opening act PRESORTED STANDARD U.S. postage Notre Dame Archives PAID 607 Hesburgh Library Notre Dame, IN Notre Dame IN 46656 Permit No. 2 COVER ILLUSTRATION ERIC I RYAN SUBSCRIBE TODAY DOVERSBERGER GREENBERG to the only student-produced magazine serving Notre Dame students, parents and alumni ••• " ..... ," •• '.r" ,,'.'::r. s - THE ELEVENTH OF APRIL ' ':~ ,', 2001 & 2002 Indiana Collegiate Press Shattered Security 10 SCHOLaSTIC' TABLE OF CONTENTS ' by Christopher Kelly.. .'.' . ..:' Association News Magazine of the Year Notre Dame's security and police say that INFORMED. INTELLIGENT. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. ·vehicular vandalism is on the rise. What are' » 'Into the Sunset by Sarah Childress 07 they doing about it, and wha~. can students do to protect theircars?" . » Building up the Prestige by Carolyn LaFave 08 <J0!1-0 ISSUES ~·.DOLLARS » ~ar:ca,$tic2002 '. ·.1' ':"'3' The Write Stuff by Stephanie Rubino 22 by $cholasti.c staff ". 'CqVi::R(Eighfpages to ridicule the al': r~-~~~---~~-~-~~---z~----~~-~-~~-~ » Golden Anniversary by Mary Morgan 24 .' Cohol policyaricl .everYthlng else. Bet you didn't S~!3 that c6'ming .Send all hate .' I PLEASE PLACE ME .o.N yo.UR ~ll?UI@f!r LIST.' . SEND THIS. Fo.RMAND I' . » Playfng Out History by Sheila Flynn 32 [email protected]:· . .. '.~<: $35.00 PAYMENT TO.: . ~. '" ,' ,'. ,'. :':. ~ '.':', . , ! NAME: SCHo.LASTIC MAGAZINE'" I ... ,." . , . r 31.5 LAFo.RTUNE STUDENT-CENTER' I Readyand.Wmirtgha~;, ........ :... 28' .' '1' . ADDRESS: No.TREDAME, IN 46556 . I From the Editor 2 Out of Bounds 31 · by,OGerardMeskill" . ....... '.' .... >' '. .'. ND Notebook 4 Week in Distortion 34 The football team'looks to make' ~ fresh .' Campus Watch 21 Calendar 35 , ~'.:: . II Splinters 25 Final Word 36 ~tartwi,th CoachTyrcme Willihgha~'s'·· •. ·· · revamped offense. '.' .. .' ... .-1. 'I: .'.,:. ," .',./ COVER ILLUSTRATION ERIC I RYAN SUBSCRIBE TODAY DOVERSBERGER GREENBERG to the only student-produced magazine serving Notre Dame students, parents and alumni ••• " ..... ," •• '.r" ,,'.'::r. s - THE ELEVENTH OF APRIL ' ':~ ,', 2001 & 2002 Indiana Collegiate Press Shattered Security 10 SCHOLaSTIC' TABLE OF CONTENTS ' by Christopher Kelly.. .'.' . ..:' Association News Magazine of the Year Notre Dame's security and police say that INFORMED. INTELLIGENT. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. ·vehicular vandalism is on the rise. What are' » 'Into the Sunset by Sarah Childress 07 they doing about it, and wha~. can students do to protect theircars?" . » Building up the Prestige by Carolyn LaFave 08 <J0!1-0 ISSUES ~·.DOLLARS » ~ar:ca,$tic2002 '. ·.1' ':"'3' The Write Stuff by Stephanie Rubino 22 by $cholasti.c staff ". 'CqVi::R(Eighfpages to ridicule the al': r~-~~~---~~-~-~~---z~----~~-~-~~-~ » Golden Anniversary by Mary Morgan 24 .' Cohol policyaricl .everYthlng else. Bet you didn't S~!3 that c6'ming .Send all hate .' I PLEASE PLACE ME .o.N yo.UR ~ll?UI@f!r LIST.' . SEND THIS. Fo.RMAND I' . » Playfng Out History by Sheila Flynn 32 [email protected]:· . .. '.~<: $35.00 PAYMENT TO.: . ~. '" ,' ,'. ,'. :':. ~ '.':', . , ! NAME: SCHo.LASTIC MAGAZINE'" I ... ,." . , . r 31.5 LAFo.RTUNE STUDENT-CENTER' I Readyand.Wmirtgha~;, ........ :... 28' .' '1' . ADDRESS: No.TREDAME, IN 46556 . I From the Editor 2 Out of Bounds 31 · by,OGerardMeskill" . ....... '.' .... >' '. .'. ND Notebook 4 Week in Distortion 34 The football team'looks to make' ~ fresh .' Campus Watch 21 Calendar 35 , ~'.:: . II Splinters 25 Final Word 36 ~tartwi,th CoachTyrcme Willihgha~'s'·· •. ·· · revamped offense. '.' .. .' ... .-1. 'I: .'.,:. ," .',./ Vol. 142, No. 11 '11 APRIL 2002 SCHOLaSTIC Editor in Chief Sarah Childress Managing Editor Jessica L. Daues "'~~-i Executive Editor Cristin E. Fenzel I News Mike Borgia I Christopher Kelly Annie Robinson \ ....... ' '------..:....;.--_. Campus Life Sean Dudley, editor Carolyn G. LaFave, assistant Sports Gerard J. Meskill, editor Gotcha! Jimmy Atkinson, assistant t was a busy day at the newsroom, and as a summer intern, I was even busier. My phone David Murray, assistant I Entertainment rang and I snatched it up. "Sarah? This is Rick Walker from 98 FM-KCQ, how are you Carrie E. Sweeney, editor today?" He said that he had read my article about a school-board election squabble and Tracy Evans, assistant Matt Killen, assistant wanted to talk about one of the key players - on the air. Departments "So you'll do it? We're on in five seconds," Rick said, without giving me a chance to Jennifer Osterhage, editor speak. He let the Dixie Chicks fade out and started firing questions at me. "So a lot of us Meghan Gowan, assistant Design are serious fans ofthis guy," Rick says. ''What do you think about him?" Eric Doversberger, editor ''Well, I don't really know hi-" Ryan Greenberg, assistant The Milchael Patrick Griffin "Well, yeah but didn't you two used to date awhile back?" Matthew Barr Nick Dailey The man was 50 years old. ''What? No, we never dated-" Crissy Manary ''Ever go to a movie? Share popcorn with the guy?" I tried to laugh off the questions, but Photography they became increasingly crude. I cringed, my face reddened. I was about to protest when Mike McNary, editor Rick burst out laughing. "You've just been scammed!" I heard laughter in the background Liesl Marx, assistant Graphic Arts as my friend came on the line and explained that he and his co-worker had conspired to Maryn Necel, editor trick me. Neither could believe I answered those questions "on the air." Luckily for my Michael M. delaRosa look for friend, I didn't get mad. I was a little'chagrined, sure, but I laughed' with him. I had to Copy ISSUE 12 Cecilia Hadley, chief on admit, it was pretty funny. Soquel Harding APRIL 25 In a similar spirit, I present "Sarcastic;" eight pages that I hope you'll fmd as entertain­ Distribution Mike McNary, manager ing, if not less cringe-worthy. We point and laugh at everybody: administrators, students, Business that one campus newspaper - and of course, the new alcohol policy. Ifyou find anything Jessica B. Polish, manager too outrageous, let us know, but remember, it's meant as ajoke. And, we hope, a joke well Online played. IJamie L. Moran, manager ,i Advisor IIRobert Franken '69 Four Cheers II Last weekend, Scholastic was named News Magazine of the Year for the second L.J year in a row by the 2002 Indiana Collegiate Press Association. Several senior staff Disce Qllasi Semper Viclllrus members received awards: Adam Aroian, Kat Corte, Katie Freddoso and J acki Kiefer, Vive Qllasi Cras Morilllrus as well as the last two editors in chief, Jim Pastore and Michael Griffin. Current staff members Jessica Daues, Cristin Fenzel and Gerry Meskill also won awards, as well l Published biweekly at the University of Notre Dame fj and printed at Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, IN, as former News Editor Matthew Ziegler and photographer Kate Foster. The Juggler I 146556. The entire contents of Scholastic magazine is once again won Literary Magazine of the Year. The Dome and The Observer won , i Copyright © 2001. All rights reserved. No contents of 'I : this magazine, either in whole or in part, may be second and third places, respectively. Congratulations to all the winners. Ireproduced in any manner without written consent of ! Ithe publisher. Scholastic magazine does not assume I, liability for unsolicited manuscripts or material. All lifetime opportunities with multinational organization , Icorrespondence should be sent to Scholastic Good Morrow and Good Luck I ,magazine, LaFortune Student Center, Notre Dame, IN !I I' 46556. Three words: I'll break you. To be published in This is the first issue in four years for which Michael Griffin did not sacrifice his sleep • the next issue, letters must be received by 5:00 p.m. FOR GRADUATING SENIORS and sanity. He and the other graduating seniors invested an incredible amount of time and I 1 Monday before the issue. All letters must include the I I writer's name, address and phone number. All letters energy in the magazine. At the same time, I know the young and talented staff that has i Imust be signed. Names will be withheld upon request stepped up to take their place will certainly follow in their footsteps - thanks in part to the i ,in certain instances. Scholastic reserves the right to 'I' i edit letters for space. Requests for corrections made seniors' guidance. Good luck next year; we will miss you all. , more than 21 days after publication cannot be : 1 guaranteed. The subscription rate is $35 per year. i I Available back issues are $2.50 per copy; please ! ! specify volume and number, or date. Copies of the I I annual football review are available at $5 per copy. www.nd.edu/f'Vvocation I I' Advertising rates available on request. The opinions I ,expressed in Scholastic magazine are not necessarily 'I i those of the University of Notre Dame or the student cJL{~ i body. Sarah Childress, Editor l~ 2 SCHOLASTICFROM THE EDITOR Vol. 142, No. 11 '11 APRIL 2002 SCHOLaSTIC Editor in Chief Sarah Childress Managing Editor Jessica L. Daues "'~~-i Executive Editor Cristin E. Fenzel I News Mike Borgia I Christopher Kelly Annie Robinson \ ....... ' '------..:....;.--_. Campus Life Sean Dudley, editor Carolyn G. LaFave, assistant Sports Gerard J. Meskill, editor Gotcha! Jimmy Atkinson, assistant t was a busy day at the newsroom, and as a summer intern, I was even busier. My phone David Murray, assistant I Entertainment rang and I snatched it up. "Sarah? This is Rick Walker from 98 FM-KCQ, how are you Carrie E. Sweeney, editor today?" He said that he had read my article about a school-board election squabble and Tracy Evans, assistant Matt Killen, assistant wanted to talk about one of the key players - on the air. Departments "So you'll do it? We're on in five seconds," Rick said, without giving me a chance to Jennifer Osterhage, editor speak. He let the Dixie Chicks fade out and started firing questions at me.