University of Rhode Island DigitalCommons@URI The ommittC ee to Eliminate Heterosexism and Gender and Sexuality Center Homophobia 1990 I think I Might be Gay Pamphlet Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cmte-eliminate Recommended Citation "I think I Might be Gay Pamphlet" (1990). The Committee to Eliminate Heterosexism and Homophobia. Paper 182. https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cmte-eliminate/182https://digitalcommons.uri.edu/cmte-eliminate/182 This Pamphlet is brought to you for free and open access by the Gender and Sexuality Center at DigitalCommons@URI. It has been accepted for inclusion in The ommittC ee to Eliminate Heterosexism and Homophobia by an authorized administrator of DigitalCommons@URI. For more information, please contact [email protected]. • Toll-free Hotlines I think I might You may want to call a hotline to speak to someone about being gay. You may want to be gay . .. call from a phone booth for privacy The people at the hotline will let you talk about your feelings, and will direct you to organiza­ tions that help gay people There may even be a gay youth group in your area. These hotline numbers are accurate as of ;\ugust 1990 and are toll-free from anywhere in the United States. Hotlines sometimes This brochure was written by Kevin Cran­ change If these don't work, try looking in a ston and Cooper Thompson with help from phone book. Most major cities have a lesbian members of BAGLY, Boston Alliance of Gay and gay hotline and Lesbian Youth, Inc r,Jational Lesbian and Gay Hotline: Produced and distributed by The Cam­ 1-800-SOS-GA YS paign to End Homophobia. The Campaign is a network of people who work to end homo­ ,'iational AIDS Hotline: 1-800-342-AIDS phobia through information sharing and education which celebrates diversity, pro­ National Runaway Switchboard: motes love and support, and provides alterna­ 1-800-621 -4000 tives to oppression Rather than distributing pamphlets in bulk we provide single, camera-ready copies so that users can customize, reproduce and dis­ • • .now what do tribute the pamphlets in whatever way is most effective for them. We ask for a contribution I do? • local Gay Organizations of $25 from organizations and $1 0 from indi­ viduals for camera-ready copy and permis-­ ,~heck the white pages of your telephone sion to reprint the pamphlets for young lesbi­ ~ok under "gay" or "lesbian" Especially ans and young gay men ·Took for hotlines, counseling agencies and A Brochure for Young Men youth groups. Write to us at The Campaign to End Homo­ phobia, P 0. Box 819, Cambridge, MA 02139, I niormation for gay youth and voung men for copies of both pamphlets and information questioning their sexuality about the Campaign and other resources we distribute printed on recycled paper • What does it mean to be • How do I know if I'm gay? Boys with truly gay feelings find that, over time, their attractions to boys and men get gay? "I don't remember exactlv when I first more and more clearly focused ..You may find Men who cal I themselves gay are sexually knew that I was gay, but I do remember that yourself falling in love with your classmates attracted to and fall in love with other men. the thought of sex with men always excited or maybe developing a crush on a particular 11 Tneir sexual feelings toward men are normal me adult man You may find these experiences pleasurable, troubling, or a mix of the two ..By and natural for them. These feelings emerge Alan, age 19 when they are boys and the feelings continue age 16 or 17 many gay kids start thinking into adulthood Although some gay men may about what to call themselves, while others also be attracted to women, they usually say "I never had any real attraction towards prefer to wait that their feelings for men are stronger and women, but I really knew that I was gav If you think you might be gay, ask yourself: more important to them when puberty began. I felt an attraction toward the other boys and I was curious to • When I dream or fantasize sexually, is it We know that about one out of ten people find out what thev were like " about boys or girls? in the world is gay or lesbian (lesbians are women who are attracted to other women) James, 1 7 • Have I ever had a crush or been in love This means that in any large group of people, with a boy or a man? there are usually several gay people present ,:owever. you cannot tell if someone is gay or "One day I was flipping through a maga­ • Do I feei different than other guys? zine, there was a cute guy, and bam I I not unless he or she wants you to know ..Gay knew." • Are my feelings for boys and men true people blend right in with other people But and clear? they often feel different from other people Antonio, age 16 If you cannot answer these questions now, Gay teenagers may not be able to specify don't worry You will be more sure in time just why they feel different All of the guys You may not know what to call your sexual You and onlv vou know how to label yourself they know seem to be attracted to girls, so feelings You don t have to rush and decide correctly they don't know where they fit in. And, they how to label yourself right now Our sexual may not feel comfortable talking with an adult identities develop over time ..Most adolescent about their feelings boys are intensely sexual during the years around puberty (usually between 11 and 1 5 • Learning to like yourself years old), when their bodies start changing and their hormones are flowing in new ways "I had to re1ect a lot of negative hetero­ Your sexual feelings may be so strong that sexual and religious programming that they are not directed toward particular per­ made me feel lousy about myself as a gay sons or situations, but seem to emerge with­ person I began to like myself by meeting out cause. As you get older you will figure out other gay people and going to a gay support who you are really attracted to group After that I was content with myself " Bill, age 18 I ~ book for the Samaritans or another hotline There are alternatives to denying your very valuable feelings Check out the resources listed on the back of this brochure. "My aunt is a lesbian, and she made it The first step in coming out is to tell your­ clear to me, before I even knew I was gay, self that you are gay and say, "That's OK " :hat being gay was OK." Later you may want to tell someone else - someone you trust to be understanding and Antonio, age 16 • Who should I tell? sympathetic You might choose a friend or an "I only tell other people that I'm gay if I've adult You will probably want to meet other "! accepted the facts, which means that I known them for a long time and if they are gay kids for friendship or a more intimak Jon't deny being gay and I don't pretend to accepting and tolerant I think it's important relationship. Some gay kids are able to come be someone I'm not" that they know about this special part of out to their families. You need to decide me." whether or not to tell your family, and to Alan, 19 choose the right time. Lots of people, includ­ Bill, age 18 ing parents, simply don't understand gay It's not easy to discover that vou are rrav ' 0 ' people and are difficult to come out to In the Our society makes it very clear what it thinks beginning, be cautious about whom to tell )r gay people .. We all hear the terrible jokes, "Since I'm normal, I don't have to hide hov. I feel But you should make sure that vou :~e hurtiul stereotypes and the wrong ideas But it is crucial to be honest with yourself are comfortable with your preference :hat circulate about gay people .. People tend Just as self-denial costs you, coming out pays before vou blurt it out to just anyone." rn hate or fear what they don't off Most kids who accept their sexuality say understand.Some people hate gay lesbians Nathan, age 19 they feel calmer, happier and more confident 1nd gay men. Many people are uncomfort- 1ble being around lesbians and gay men. "I tell people that I'm gav ii I know that the, 'No matter what people say, vou are it's no wonder that you might choose to won't reject me. will accept me for what I normal. Cod created you, and you were 1ide your gayieelings from others ..You might am, and won't try to 'straighten' me out I made ,n this image If you are non-reli­ even be tempted to hide them from yourself test them, I suppose, then I judge if I want gious, vou were born and you have a to risk telling them " purpose, and being gay is only part or it." You may wonder if you are normal Per­ iaps you worry about people finding out John, age 17 Nathan, age 19 ,bout you .. Maybe you avoid other kids who night be gay because of what people will nink Working this hard to conceal your More and more gay kids are learning to fee! "Stand up for what you believe in, and :;,oughts and feelings is called being in the better about themselves As you start to I isten don't listen to what hatemongers have to :ioset It is a painful and lonely place to be, to your deepest feelings and learn more about say; its only so much hot air Stay proud 2ven if you stay there in order to survive.