Ep #73: Taking Back Your Power with Sex Queen Brenda Florida Full Episode Transcript With Your Host Jill Angie The Not Your Average Runner Podcast with Jill Angie Ep #73: Taking Back Your Power with Sex Queen Brenda Florida Welcome to The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. If you're a woman who is midlife and plus sized and you want to start running but don’t know how, or if it's even possible, you're in the right place. Using proven strategies and real-life experience, certified running and life coach Jill Angie shares how you can learn to run in the body you have right now. Hey rebels, you are listening to episode number 73 of The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. I'm your host, Jill Angie. Today, I have a super fun episode for you, but I need to warn you right now if you have little kids around or you're in a public place. We are talking about sex and running on this show and there are not only some F bombs but there's a lot of sex talk and some of it's a little verging on graphic so I just want to make sure you know before you blast this if you're out in public that this is one you maybe want to listen to with your headphones on. Anyway, I am so excited to have a chat to share with you today with certified life coach and sex queen, Brenda Florida, who is passionate about empowering women professionally and personally. She kind of does the same thing that I do with running is just empowering women through running. She empowers them through life coaching and sex. Not with her specifically. She helps her clients get better sex lives and just feel better about themselves. So she's actually created a four-step process for sustainable transformation through this and works with women who want to expand and explore empowerment through sexual pleasure. And there are a lot of parallels between feeling good about your sex life and feeling good about your running life. And so that's why we are talking about this today because there's so many things that are similar that I thought it was going to be a super fun The Not Your Average Runner Podcast with Jill Angie Ep #73: Taking Back Your Power with Sex Queen Brenda Florida conversation. Now, Brenda is a survivor of sexual abuse and she understands the negative and positive effect that our relationship to sex has on our sense of self, health, relationships, and personal powers. And honestly, we had so much fun talking through all of the similarities and where women can really get their power back in their lives through improving their sex lives. So without further ado - I'm a little flustered just talking about this you guys, but we had a really fun conversation. So without further ado, here is Brenda. -- Jill: Alright rebels, we are doing something a little bit different today on the podcast. We're going to talk all about sex and running. It's one of my favorite topics. Both. Two of my favorite topics. Anyway, I am here with Brenda Florida and she is a self-professed sex queen and I am like, super excited for our whole conversation today. So Brenda, thank you so much for joining me. Welcome to the show. Brenda: I'm so excited to be here. Jill: And I love talking to you about sex, it's super fun, so I thought it would be really fun to have you talk to all of my listeners about it too. So before we get into that, can you just explain a little bit to everybody listening about who you are and what you do, and what is a sex queen by the way? I don't even know what that is, so you can explain that as well. Brenda: Okay, so for starters, I'm Brenda Florida, I'm a certified life coach and I am for what it matters, 58 years old. So when I was a young girl, I was sexually abused, and as often happens with people who are sexually The Not Your Average Runner Podcast with Jill Angie Ep #73: Taking Back Your Power with Sex Queen Brenda Florida abused, they repress that memory. And I did that quite successfully until I was actually in my early 30s when very out of the blue, I started remembering this episode where I was abused. And so it rocked my world. At that point, I'd been married quite a while. I got married right out of high school to my high school sweetheart, very sweet story. We're not married anymore though. And really hated having sex. My sex life was just horrible, and was very disconnected to my body because of the experience of that early trauma. Now, fast forward and I'll fill in some of the gaps as we go along here, but fast forward into my 30s when I was getting divorced and I knew I would need to have sex sooner or later with somebody, you just kind of figure that once you're in your 30s, and I realized I needed to start dealing with these issues that I had. And so I started working with it and to make again, a long story short, really opened myself up - the way I like to say it now is I awakened my body to the pleasures of sex. And so then the benefits of it and understanding that, really having a lot of fun with it and connecting it to so many things in my life that are really very empowering. So to answer one question there you had, which was where did the sex queen come from, I find that one of the things about the topic of sex that's fairly universal is that is a way that we often give our power away and connect that only way I can really have great sex in my life is dependent on another person, this person I'm having sex with and if they're good at it or if they want it as much as I do or whatever, like somehow that has to be magically in sync or I don't have a great sex life, which is a huge way to give your power away. And so I love empowering people in their own sexual pleasure and sexual expression as the way I like to [...] in their lives. And so how that connects to running is in a couple of different ways. I mean, one is that many of us - with thousands of listeners in your podcast audience, there's got to be The Not Your Average Runner Podcast with Jill Angie Ep #73: Taking Back Your Power with Sex Queen Brenda Florida runners out there in your group who are not terribly connected to their body. There's many ways we get disassociated from our body. Trauma is one of the ways that that happens, but it's super common. And so I found sex to be a way to bring me back inside my body and connected to my body and when you have that, you have so much information, whether you want to use that information for running or for any other physical expression, including sex. It just informs you so deeply about what's going on in your body. Does that make sense? Jill: It totally, totally does, and actually, something you said earlier about giving your power away when you are having sex with somebody and the fact that it's dependent on whether that person is good at it or also a lot of times I hear women say, "Well, I'm so ashamed of my body that I can't enjoy sex," and I see that so much with my runners. They're ashamed of what they look like so they won't run in public or they cover their whole body up, they won't run in a tank top for example because they don't want people to see their arms. I think there are a lot of similarities, like the root cause is - what do you think the root cause is? Brenda: Yes, so I love that you brought this up and you know because we've known each other for a few months that one of the things that kind of set this off for me and even gave me this idea of doing the sex queen was an ass selfie. Jill: Oh my god, I remember that. Brenda: You remember? Jill: You have such a nice ass, can I just tell you that? The Not Your Average Runner Podcast with Jill Angie Ep #73: Taking Back Your Power with Sex Queen Brenda Florida Brenda: Thank you so much. So an ass selfie that I posted in my own private Facebook group... Jill: Wait, can we back up for a second. Just in case there's somebody listening that does not know what an ass selfie is, can you explain it? Brenda: Yes. So this... Jill: It's important. Brenda: These are important details. So it's a picture of the back of your body. You put your cellphone on the floor behind you so you get from your feet all the way up to the top of your head, but it's just your backside. Now, I did mine in underwear.