CHAPTER 3 CHILD BRIDE AND WIFE For a HinJu, maniage is a Sarriskara or a sacrament. A Hindu marriage is looked upon, as, something which is more of a rehgious dut\’ and less of a physical luxury. A Vedic passage says that a person, who is unmvirried is unholy From the religious point of view he remains incomplete and is not fully eligible to participate in sacraments. This continues to be the view of the society even today; the practice of keeping the bet el nut by one’s side in the absaice of tlie wife is an example of this belief. Marriage according to the Shastras is the holy sacrament and the gift of the daughter, (Kanyadaan) to a suitable person, is a sacred duty put on the father, after the performance of which the father gets great spiritual benefit. Marriage is binding for life because the marriage rite completed by Sapkipadi (walking seven steps together) around the sacred fire and is believed to create a religious tie which once created cannot be dissolved. The object of marriage was procreation of children and proper performance of religious ceremonies. Marriage is not perfonned for mere emotional gratification and is not considered as a mere betrothal. Its context s religious, and it is not a mere socio-legal contract. The bride on the seventh step of the Saptapadi, loses her triginal Goira and acquires the Gotra of the bridegroom and a kinship is created that is not a mere friendship for ileasure. Therefore, a marriage Was regai ded as indissoluble. A marriage does not become invalid on the ground that it is effected during the minority of either the ride v^r the groom. Marriage involves the transfer of dominion of the bride from the father to the husband, Tlie , ife, on marriage, not only passes to the family of her husband but also adopts his Gotra. She thus severs all ties 'ith her natal family. .'6 Mfiniase is aiso a legm aiiu sutijii nmuii uciwtcii a mtui tutu « wuuuui, i<^i uit *.o<cjL/iioiimg u tamily. It was one of the important sacraments and the following words denote the concept of marriage, Udvcisa. which means taking the girl out of her pjirental home. Vivalia, which means taking tlie girl away in a special way or for a special purjjose i.e. for making her one’s wife.; Parinaya or Parinciycuia which means going cd ound i e. making a Fradakshuia of sacred fire; Upayana which means to bring near and to make one’s own; PamgraJza which means talaiig the hand of the bride. Although all these words express only one component element of the rite of the marriage, they are all used to indicate the totality of the several acts that go to nuike up the ceremony of the marriage During the Peshwa period, marriages were ananged by a third party, called Madhyastha, or the matchmaker(middleman), who being professional, chaiged some fees for his services . There seems to be no formal procedure for a matrimonial proposal, the middleman knew both the parties well. Some elderly person from tlie groom’s side, would go to the girl’s house, meet the girl and her family, match the information and if found suitable, would fix up a date for the marriage Tlie Peshwas took more interest and interviewed the girls personally before making tlie final choice. A Karkun would be disjjatched, he would tour through the region, select few prospective brides that appeared good and would airajige to send these girls with their parents to the Peshwa for selections i In 1792 A.D. the wife of Peshwa Savai Madhavrao died. The Peshwa had some proposals and accordingly he had interviewed 2/3 girls. Finally, he ordered that Nana Phadnavis would select one suitable bride from them. There was no elderly male member in the Peshwa family then to arrange tlie marriage of Savai Madhawao. Tliere is no record of the fate of those other girls that were interviewed by the Peshwa. To whom were the>’ married or who bore the expenses of their visit to the Peshwa or their marriage, is not recorded. ^ Bajirao II had many proposals of marriage. He had inteii/'iewed a girl and had ne:irly finalised tlie proposal. 'Fhen he met Varanasibai, daugliter of Raste, whose horoscope indicated that she would soon beai a son. The Peshwa cancelled the first girl, paid expenses of bofJi the sides and arranged her marriage with the son of Ganpatrao Krishna Sathe, a distant relation Then the Peshwa married Varanasibai. A groom was a person who received tlie gift of the bride from her father, which is called Kanyadaan, donation of the daughter by the father. Importance was to the receiver and the giver, she was just a thing to be gifted, (donated), that she had no say, choice or feelings is aptly illustrated in the above case. A thing thus donated will have a secondary or no status of its own. The man iages wei e fixed by the family, the parties concaned were given little or no say in the choice of the marriage partner. Practice of pre-puberty marriages prevailed and the bride naturally was too young to have a say Even the groom, if it was his first marriage would be young, say 11 to 13 years of age. Reading about his son's disinclination to marry.the girl the father had arranged, Sardar Gopalrao Patwardhan’s father, Govindrao was much annoyed and wi ote to him that, if he wanted, he mi ght as well marry ten other girls of his choice. But, ^ first, he must nrjry the one his father had arranged, 'fhe illustration needs no further comments except that the girls were easier to get married to and also that the attitude indicates the insignificant status of marriageable girls in general It was customary among the Marathas and such other castes to observe a betrothal ceremony known as ^ Soyarika or Mangani, announcing the fixation of marriage. The bridegroom’s party used to give presents of dress (Saree and piece for choli or blouse) and ornaments to the girl and money or com to her paients as agi eed upon on the occasion However, Soyarika was not the final commitment by the parents of either parties to the marriage. In 1744 - 45 A.D. Bohar Mehar Raghuvanshi of Kolhapur sent Rajman barber to negotiate the mairiage of his (Bohar) daughter with tlie son of Sukhanand Raghuvanshi of Peth Surji, pargana Anjangaon of Sirkar Govale in ' Prant Berar. Suklianand consulted his caste-rnen and consented to the marriage. The barber was given a dinner and Rs. 2/- and was sent back. Later. Lachiram, a Rajput of Mangrul Peranche forcibly married the girl and took her away According the Rajput custom, negotiations regarding tiie maniage of Sukhanand's son were completed. Other Rajputs would not ofter their daughters in marriage to him. Hence, Sukhanand complaints to the Huzur and orders were issued to the Kamvisadars to reprimand Lachiram and to arrange for the marriage of rg\ Sukhanand’s son with another girl . Even when there was no custom to dissolve a betrothal, in certain deserving cases, the State permitted to marry another. A warning to Naikji Ghatga, who had married his daughter to Ranoji Shinde, suffering from leprosy and witliout making proper enqui^ ies was ordered to marry her to another suitable boy .^ o n g the Marathas and others, a practice of Bride-price prevailed. Broughton rqjorts; “With the Marathas, a father receives instead of giving away a portion with his daughter. Bride-price was exacted evoi in case of re-marriage of a girl” 'I The form of marriage, in which bride-price was taken is known as Arsha form and is reckoned below that of Brahma and Do/va, the most approved ones. The Brahmins and such higher castes practised the Brahma form of marriage in which parents give away to the bridegroom their daughter, bedecked with ornaments, as a gift {Doj^) and also offer him Varadakshiria or a marriage portion for completing part of the ritual. Acceptance of Varadakshina on the part of the bridegroom was thus sanctioned as religious custom and fomied an essential part of the marriage rites. Whereas acceptance of bride-price was regarded as a highly condemnable act for a Brahmin. L There are some references to Hunda (dowry) transactions taking place during the Peshwa period. Sardar Tulshibaugwale’s diaiy mentions a dowry of Rs. 800/- given to one Deshpande and of Rs. 1,500/- given to Sawkaj Vaidya Macdonald’s account contains a report about the dowry, as high as Rs. 25,000/- in cash and a village yielding an annual revenue of about one thousand rupees, given to the adopted son of Nana Phadnavis Tins case was however, as late as 1830' .'\nother case shows withdrawal of the demand of Hunda (of ^ Rs 200'-) by the groom's paity on their being convinced of the other party’s inability to pay it A few instances refer, if not to the actual acceptance of dowry, to negotiations between the parties over tlic nniount the bride's fnthcr was iikcly to spend on account ol . us daughter’s marriage 7 0 'Hie Peshwa tried to check the practice of accepting the bride-price that had crept among the Br^diniin caste, especially of the Konkan region. In her letter of 1772 A.D. Gopikabai, urges Nana Phadnavis to take ome stj ong measures to effectively put aii end to this evil practice, since such previous attempts had been rather ^bortive*^’^'l Peshwa Bajirao II issued a strict order forbidding the acceptance of bride-price in any form by the Brahmins and enjoined heavy punishments of fine and ex-communication on the transgressors, including the groom’s party and the matchmaker, if they happened to be a party to the designs Yet, sometimes, the bride’s party, out of greed, took advantage of this bride-price, even though no such custom prevailed in the community, [n 1770-71 A.D., a Brahmin widow, Bhiubai Vyas, married her daughter, twice to two different grooms.